that has suddently developed a screaming fear of the bathtub?
The Queen of the Universe just turned 2 years old. Up until about a month ago she loved the bathtub (“take a bath, take a bath” she’d say) and would get right in, splash around, play with the washcloth, etc. Now, almost overnight, its “GET OUT! I WANT TO GET OUT!” accompanied by tears (not “mad” tears - “fear” tears with lots of sobbing and shaking). Neither my ex-wife nor I have any memory of her falling in the tub, getting soap in her eyes, burned, etc. so we can’t figure out what could possible have happened to make her suddently freak out.
I wouldn’t spend too much time trying to figure out why this fear has suddenly surfaced. In my experience (4 kids, ages 2 thru 11) toddlers display very little logic in these matters.
I certainly wouldn’t try to force her to be reasonable. My kids, anyway, would only dig their heels in deeper. I would just find other ways to keep her (relatively) clean until it blows over. She can have a sponge bath, wash her hair in the sink if it is long, she might even prefer the shower to the tub. If you’re relaxed about it and let her know that she can have baths again when she is ready, she might surprise you by how soon she gets over it.
You might also give her opportunities (if she wants them) to bathe her dolls, maybe in the bathroom sink? My 2yo plays constantly with her dollhouse family and often works through things that are bothering her in pretend play. A while ago we heard her playing that all the dolls were asleep. She had the little girl doll wake up and run through the doll house calling “Where’s my mommy? Where’s my daddy?” Our 2yo also wakes up almost every night around 3:00 and climbs into bed with us. She never acts like she is frightened, but this pretend play makes me think that she must be, if just a little. Maybe bathing her dolls could help your daughter verbalize what is bothering her about the bath?
God, we JUST went through this. I actually got a lot of pretty good tips from a book which is, alas, at home. But we didn’t have to use them because my in-laws solved the problem with some creativity. They made a real ritual of letting him throw all the bath toys in the tub. They then let him get in the tub (dressed, but no shoes) to play with the toys in there. Then they started running the water while he was playing. And then they coaxed him to remove his wet clothes as the tub was filling. It worked. Dealing with the sopping clothes was a pain, but if it got the kid in the tub, who cared? I think it was a combination of doing it gradually and keeping him engrossed with the toys. After doing this a few times, he got over it and now he bathes normally. To help with the hair washing (which he still hates) I give him an unbreakable mirror so he can look at his hair all wacky and soapy. He gets a soap mohawk, etc.
I like Robin’s suggestions about letting her bathe her dolls. I’d also try buying some new tub toys, using a minimum of water for a while. If I dig up that book, I’ll post more hints.
My daughter has never really developed a fear of bathing, but will sometimes refuse to do so just to gain some measure of control over her life. Very common (and normal) for toddlers, they say.
I’ve also read that a lot of little ones develop fairly intense fears of being sucked down the drain when the plug is pulled. We foresaw this problem and explained that there’s just no way something as big as a child could ever fit down the drain. She does have a little fear that her bath toys might go down the drain, though.
Is your daughter scared of the bath without water in it? If not maybe you could give her a sponge bath in the tub. Otherwise try a plastic baby tub or even a paddling pool (if it seems to be the tub she’s scared of).
RobinH’s advice about observing her play is good. I can recall a childcare professional telling me useful she found listening (without them realising) to kids playing/drawing/painting since they would express their emotions as they were doing so. A lot of feeling goes into childish scribbles!
NORMAL! Don’t worry about it. Just bathe her as fast as possible until she likes the water again. And then don’t be surprised if it happens again when she’s 3 or 4 and you think she’s old enough to reason with. She still won’t be though so do the same thing again. Irrational fears are part of toddlerhood and the preschool years. Just be as reassuring as possible and try not to torture her more than you have to.
Can you tell I’m going through this with a 3 year old? With my oldest, I could put her in the tub and let her play while I read or cleaned the bathroom, folded laundry, etc. Not this one. It’s just get her in and out as fast as possible. I never get anything done now.
My SO is a therapist that deals with little kids all the time and she’s given many of the same suggestions that you good folks have. Last night, Susan (my SO), just sort of hung back and watched while I bathed the Queen. After the bath she took the Queen back into the bathroom and they played with the bath toys in the tub, but without the water. The Queen was still a little leery (“Take a bath. I want to get out.”) but not frantic. I guess its just going to take some time and trial and error.
ToddlerNym (2 1/2) has recently developed a fear of pretty much everything (“Me scared!”) except the bath.
Anyhoo, she just doesn’t LIKE baths. She takes showers with me everyday (another thing I can’t do alone) and if she gets cruddy during the day Daddy will take her in the jacuzzi to let chlorine do it’s job or I’ll give her a “quick tubby”.
I agree with experimenting in anyway you can. The mirror is a good idea. Get tub crayons. Get colored bath fizzies (Tub Tints?) and let her toss them in. Get a spray nozzle that attaches to the faucet so she can have a shower that’s her size. Get bubble bath or stop using it if you already are. Hell, let her blow bubbles in there!
I think you’ve got plenty of good ideas for how to help your daughter, but I couldn’t resist letting you in on the bath fun we have at our house. I like Sue’s idea best – get some interesting diversions for the tub.
For my kids, we blow bubbles. Neat idea, and the kids (3 boys 6 and under) love it. Start by picking up a bottle of bubble soap and blowing bubbles. But then, to make it really fascinating – do what I do and blow them with your bare hands!
If you use soft soap, (the lotion kind, not the translucent stuff – we use Johnson’s moisturizing bath soap), you can learn to blow bubbles with your hands. Here’s how:
[ul]- rub 3 or 4 squirts of soap onto the palms of your hands
wet your hands so that the soap is drippy
say “Hi Opal”
now make an “OK” sign with your hand
slide your index finger and thumb together to close off the sircle, and then slowly reopen it, keeping them touching
you should have a thin film of soap in the “O”
blow gently, and a bubble should form in your palm
blow a bubble about the size of a tennis ball and then flatten out your hand, straightening out the index finger and always keeping it in contact with the thumb. You’ll now have a bubble on the palm of your hand
hold your hand flat, palm up, fingers pointed away from you, and blow gently and steadily at the base of the bubble, until you blow it off your hand.
[/ul]
It takes some practice, but it’s lots of fun for Dad and kids. I’ve done this enough to be able to make two-handed giant bubbles, the size of basketballs (I’m NOT exaggerating), and launch them over the boys’ heads.
My daughter has never been afraid of the tub (she’s a real chick–loves to just hang out in there). But she has developed a couple of utterly irrational fears, completely out of nowhere. So my guess is that your little Queen is just going through a phase. She’ll get over it eventually, with time, patience, and some of the other folks’ most excellent suggestions.
We just went through this with our son. Three things helped: patience, Tub Tints, and earplugs.
Tub Tints are wonderful things. They’re little tablets you can put in the bath water and make the water all kinds of pretty colors. We got a three pack: it had red, blue and yellow in it. The kids seemed to like the purple that resulted from mixing red and blue. It’s non-toxic, doesn’t hurt the kids or the porcelain, and it helps teach colors.
Rick decided on his first birthday that he hated baths. He didn’t get over it until after he turned two. I hope your experience doesn’t last that long.
Is your daughter cared for outside your home? When I was doing NH Reads last year we recieved a donation of serveral lovely hard-cover picture books at the holidays. Every one of my co-workers was horrified when we read **The Tub People. ** In the story one of the tub people falls down the drain, and the rest of them spend most of the book mourning the missing one. Though it has a happy ending, we decided not to read it to the little ones because it was too scary. However, since it has sold very well, so many people must disagree. I bet having that read to her would be enough to scare your daughter…do you suppose it’s possible someone read it to her?
