I want to see a therapist or psychologist, but I have absolutely no idea how to go about choosing one. There are hundreds of therapists/counselors/psychologists listed in the area per Google search, but what do I do? Close my eyes and put my finger on the monitor and try that one? It’s really perplexing to me, as I’ve never needed this kind of help before.
Any related feedback you have would be appreciated, too. How quickly do you know whether the therapist is right for you? Are there any red flags to watch for? What are your experiences with mental health therapy?
Don’t need answer fast, but soon, if you please.
Thanks.
Arrendajo
You should probably go with a referral from a doctor or someone who knows you, and also knows some therapists. That would help ensure a good match.
Not withstanding other criteria, I suggest you begin to narrow your selection based upon whether the “analyst” bases diagnosis upon scripture, or science… YMMV.
Interview them. Some will have a free first session for this purpose.
“I would like to talk about x. Is that one of your areas of specialization?”
“What is your theoretical orientation, and how would that look in a typical session?”
“Are you a more active therapist, or do you emphasize listening?”
“Do you take my insurance?”
Is insurance a consideration, or are you paying out of pocket? If you need to find one your insurance will pay for, then that will greatly narrow the list for you
If it is insurance, then you will need to get a list of therapists that are in your network. Expect the list to be outdated, incomplete, and inaccurate. Use web searches and phone calls to discover which of them treat your condition, are taking new patients, and (most importantly) still accept your insurance. The list by then might be very small.
If you are paying out of pocket, or have narrowed down to a list of a few covered by your insurance, then you can take the next step. Read their websites, which will probably give you a general idea of their treatment philosophy and methods. Some of the methods may be things you are not interested in, or just plain woo (unless that appeals to you). Also take location into account. If this is a place you’re going weekly, crossing a large city may be too inconvenient.
Once you have a list of a few therapists, contact them. If it is a large practice, there is probably an intake/new-patient coordinator you can talk to. If it is a very small practice, you can probably just email or call the therapists. “Hi, I have a debilitating fear of rabbits which I think is a cause of my sexual dysfunction, can you help me?”
Finally, from the responses, pick one. Any professional will know that sometimes things just don’t work out, so if you pick wrong, after a few sessions you can try another.
In my experience, by far the most difficult part, is navigating the insurance.
Thank you for the responses so far. I have great insurance, and I’m double covered, so I might not have to pay a penny out of pocket for therapy. I’ll check into the insurance situation, though, because there’s no way I can pay out of pocket. Their rates seem exorbitant. And for what they’re charging, I would expect some real help. My regular doctor, a GP, doesn’t know me well because I almost never have any reason to see him. He did cure me of foot pain a few years ago.
Thank you for the advice, susan. I don’t want to spend time spinning my wheels or spending weeks with a therapist with whom I’m not connecting, so an initial visit just to establish compatibility is a great idea.
I am dealing with some relationship/marriage problems and some profound regrets about my past that are intruding into my daily life to such a degree that it impairs my normal day-to-day functions. So probably nothing an experienced therapist hasn’t heard a bajillion times before.
A few follow-up questions: How long should I expect to see a therapist? Are visits usually weekly? Do I want to see a therapist or councilor or a psychologist? What’s the difference? Have any dopers been really helped by a therapist? Anecdotes appreciated.
Usually once a week, and for “standard” stuff** like you’re describing, I’d say a couple months should be enough for you & your therapist to see meaningful signs of progress, if not outright resolution.
Your therapist will have concrete milestones of their own to measure progress clinically, but for my purposes “able to feel less crappy about X” is probably a decent sign of progress.
** I apologize if I sound dismissive of your pain, which is uniquely yours and not a joking matter. As you said, the topics in general - while unpleasant for you to live through - are probably commonly heard by all therapists.
I’ve been twice, for issues that had me almost non-functional but were no doubt eye-rollingly cliche for therapists to hear.
A therapist is anyone who does therapy, counselors generally have masters degrees in social work whereas psychologists tend to have a phd in clinical psychology. I have seen two psychologists and one counselor. I have mixed feeling about the psychologists but benefited greatly from the counselor.
When I searched for a psychologist, I checked out the webpages of several local ones.
The one who went on and on about holystic healing, not for me. The one who offered reiki and aromatherapy, no thank you. The one who seemed to have spent hours, nay, days, pouring over the most sesquipedalian parts of a nonacentist lexicon, definitely not for me. I shortlisted those who were part of a group and who offered one free session; the one I chose to start with also offered having the first sessions in person but eventually having the option of moving to skype. Since I’m a techie, knowing which part of a computer is “up” was a plus (I wasn’t planning on having sessions through skype, and in fact didn’t). She turned out to be a good match.
Personally, from what you’ve said, I might look for a marriage or family therapist, especially if your partner is also willing to go. They have specialized training in family dynamics that can really cut to the issue. Even if the partner doesn’t want to, a family therapist deals with relationships all day, every day.
I have had a lot of therapy over the years with different types of therapists and based on experience, I tend to stay away from the ones who want me to read a lot of self-help books. That is something that I could do on my own. I want their experience and expertise so that’s a red flag for me.
Thank you, purplehorseshoe. This is very helpful. Feeling less crappy about X is pretty much what I’m hoping to achieve.
I understand you’re not being dismissive. If I were to spill my guts to most people, their response would be “That’s what’s bugging you? But you’ve done so many incredible things!” Yes, but that’s what’s bugging me.
Thank you, Nava. You had me hitting the Google for definitions; sesquipedalian? Nonacentist? The only reference I could find to nonacentist was in another post of yours on the Straight Dope. But I am picturing an overly verbose pedantic, so I think I got the picture. Jeez I hope I don’t have to go through a handful of therapists to find the right one. Holistic healing and aromatherapy are not for me, either. I’m sure in the city I live in there will be no shortage of therapists who want to guide me on a spiritual journey to discover my inner sacred self.
Thanks for the good advice, Mrs Fairway. I really do need to see someone who specializes in family dynamics and personal relationships. Most of the local therapists I found on Google claim they do that, among other things.
I don’t get much out of self-help books, though Daniel Gilbert’s Stumbling on Happiness gave me some good insight into the nature of my problem – why it bothers me.