How do you create a blended pet family?

In My Humble Opinion
1

The thread title pretty much says it all, but I will provide some specifics. My BF and I are considering living together after graduation. He practically lives with me anyway. Here is the problem. Our pets do not get along.

I have two golden retrievers who are the sweetest, gentlest creatures to ever have graced this earth. They are well-behaved, affectionate, and I do not believe that they have ever met a person they could find a reason to dislike. They are brother and sister. He has two demonic cats. One is a Siamese and the other a mixed breed from the animal shelter. I will admit I am not a cat person, but I would be willing to live with them because it would make the BF happy.

The few times the animals met were disastrous. When he brought the cats to my apartment, one ran over to my dogs, arched her back and hissed. My dogs looked at it, and I swear I heard one of them say, “bitch puhleeze,” but in retrospect, it was probably me who said it. She then proceeded to claw at the tail of one my dogs at which point one dog started barking and the other started to growl, and kitty shot out of the room before either dog could get enough traction on the hardwood floor to terminate her feline ass. We spent the better part of a half hour chasing it around the apartment to put back it back in its carrier. The other cat had refused to come out of the carrier the entire time and scratched BF when he tried to coax it out.

The other attempt to have the animals meet was very short. I brought my dogs over to his place. His cats were already sitting in the window with backs arched and were hissing as we approached his building. Dogs start to bark and get agitated and we have not even opened the door yet. Well, no point in this, so we did not even try on that occasion.

Yes, I will admit I am biased, but in all fairness, his cats do not like me either. When we are sitting on the sofa, they take great joy in creeping up and raking the back of my neck. I know it’s personal because they never have there claws extended when their humble servant, my BF, plays with them. Funny how they never seem to retract their claws when they are being “friendly” with me. They have pissed in my shoes, and ripped my boxers. It is to the point, that when I am over there they stay in the other bedroom. Mostly, we just hang out at my place where the animals know how to treat a guest.

So is bringing these animals together hopeless? We have decided that one set of animals cough, his, cough can stay with our parents if it does not work out, but he still wants to try. We know we have not handled it well so far, but in all seriousness, I’m willing to try. Any suggestions are welcome.

2

I think it can be done. Some people have had success just by moving in together, and letting the chips fall where they may. Sooner or later, the animals settle into a pecking order of some kind and usually, given enough time, get used to each other and even become affectionate towards one another.

It’s getting to that point that’s tough on the nerves. I think that as long as the cats have somewhere to escape to until they get comfy with the idea, they’ll eventually be okay. Just don’t expect miracles at first and be prepared for some possible sulking for the first while.

3

Well we have a dog and four cats and a kid… we’ve had more cats and hamsters and everyone eventually learned to get along.

First… animals take a lot of their cues from your reactions and the dogs may pick up on your dislike of the cats.

Is there a room where the cats can live for a little while while everyone sniffs under the door for a week or so to get used to the new house smells? It won’t be the brady bunch when you open the door but it sometimes helps. You may want to put the cats here too while you are away at work or just out of the house and can’t supervise until you feel more comfortable leaving them alone together.

Seriously consider litter box locale when you bring the cats in and make sure it is someplace where the dogs cant go! Elsewise the cats will find someplace else to go.

Have the dogs ever been to obedience school? Is there a training school around that can help you help them adjust to roommates?

Just moving animals to a new place is stressful enough (we’ve moved a few times) and it takes a good month to get them comfortable again. Adding siblings will make it more difficult but not impossible.

It is tough to train cats but in our experience when you bring in a new one they will hiss and hide for a week or so but then they decide they like food and warm spaces to sleep and start to become more friendly.

If you really want the animals to live together they need to work out their own hierarchy without too much human intervention. Animals can be like kids and they know when one animal has mom or dad’s blessing… once mom or dad is gone all hell breaks loose! (doggies and kitties get jealous too!) There will be hissing and barking but as long as no one gets eaten then things should settle in after time.

4

We brought my kitty over in her carrier and left her in it while the dog sniffed around. She talked a bit, but knew she was safe. After about 20 minutes, we opened the door and she shot out of there. The first visit was about an hour, basically she checked out some of the downstairs and growled at the dog whenever he got too close for her comfort.

We did that several times.

Then I would just bring her over with me when I spent the night. I’d take her back to my place before I went to work in the morning (we allowed no unsupervised visits).

A month later, we moved in together and they settled in just fine. If he got too close at first, she’d sort of growl a bit and he would back off. Today, sixe months later, while they don’t cuddle up or anything, they do get along.

It can be done but IMO you need to lose your bias against the cats. My BF isn’t a cat person either but he has taken the time to get to know my kitty and finds her to be a great addition to our “family.”

5

Check out this page from the Denver Dumb Friend League. They’re a great resource for all sorts of pet-related advice.

Daniel

6

Well, you’ll need your pets and a very large blender…

7

We have 6 dogs living peacefully (for the most part) with our 2 cats. The cats run the place. If you know your dogs are not cat aggressive, just make sure the cats have a place they can get to if they need to get away from the dogs and otherwise let them work it out. The dogs will spend a lot of time barking at the cats and the cats will spend a lot of time hissing and swatting the dogs. Over time they will reach An Agreement.

Usually, the dog learns he doesn’t want to mess with the cat and they all coexist peacefully. Sometimes, the cats will even cuddle with and groom the dogs. If one or both of the dogs persist in being boneheads (ie not giving in to the “natural order” per the cat, meaning the cat is Queen) then make sure you never leave them alone together. But I have retrievers, too, and they are generally not cat aggressive. Huskies and greyhounds on the otherhand, might actually hurt a cat.

When you leave the house, I am assuming you crate your dogs. But if not, be sure to lock the cats in a room by themselves so the dogs won’t harm them. While you’re home it should not be a problem.

The biggest problem you are going to have is that the dogs are going to discover the “treats” that come from the cat box vending machine.

8

I had two cats and a dog when I met my BF who had two dogs. Our dogs had met already in a NEUTRAL setting (a park) and by the time I moved in with him, all the dogs knew each other and were cool.

My two cats were a different story. They were used to being around their dog, but my BFs two had never met them. I was quite worried about moving in.

What my BF did (his house) was to put up a set of cafe doors from the LR to the kitchen, and a set of bi-fold doors blocking off the other LR from the first LR. This blocked off half the house so the cats had a large area open to them, and blocked off from the dogs. The cats could come out into the rest of the house by going under the cafe doors (The cafe doors were latched shut so the dogs can’t push them open).

In time, the cats got brave enough to mix with the dogs. It did take awhile. In the case of one of the cats, it took a few years before he felt comfortable with the strange dogs.

9

The rule of thumb I use when introducing cats to other cats should work for dogs, too: introduce them one sense at a time. Keep them shut up in separate rooms at first- they’ll still be aware there’s another animal in the house.

When they seem relaxed about the situation, stick a sock on your hand, pet the dogs enthusiastically (have fun!), then drop the sock in the cats’ territory. Pet the cats with a sock, and drop that in the dogs’ territory. The socks may get brutalized, but it’ll let the animals get used to one anothers’ smells.

Next, carriers. Whoever lives in the house gets to walk free, and the new arrival gets put in the living room in a carrier. There’ll be hissing and yowling and barking and general hysterics. Do this until everyone is relaxed.

Next step, let them all in the same room together. They’ll have to do complicated territory negotiations, so there’ll still be periodic hissing and hysterics, but at this point, unless it looks like something’s going to get hurt, you just let the animals work it out.

It does take time, though, and I’d be prepared to spend at least a week on introductions. It’ll only confuse the animals to do ‘visits,’ in my opinion, and it’ll be better to wait until you’re really moving in.

But that’s just me.

It’s also in your best interest to learn to like the cats, not just tolerate them. For the sake of your relationship. Cats, like dogs, respond well to food, and if you arrange to have something yummy ready to pass out whenever you come over, the cats will soon accept you as a friend. Dogs are great for playtime, but there’s nothing like a warm, purring cat when you’re feeling peaceful.

Was that too long?

10

Thanks for all the information. It might just be easier to find a new BF. Just kidding, I think that I will try to visit the cats more often and befriend them. I don’t hate cats, but his seem to be the epitome of cattiness. I also think that we will try the crate/carrier idea and work on the harder stuff after we graduate and have more time. Giving the cats an escape route could prove a problem since we plan to live in my apartment. They could stay in the other bedroom during the day (it has a bathroom for the little box), but I’d have to close the door to keep the dogs out. Would it be fair to keep the cats closed in one room all day? My dogs have been around other cats with no problem so it may work given enough time.

11

I recently adopted two 8 year old male cats.

I have a 13 year old dog and a 15 year old cat.

I opened the carriers and let the boys out and it was a free for all. Believe it or not, there was little issue. The dog started barking at one of the cats and I started laughing. I calmed him down and well, two and a half months later they all have their pecking order figured out.

It will make a difference if you let the kitties know that you aren’t a threat and give them attention.

Anyhow, I just let them loose and let them figure it out. There were some cat issues with the boys taking over my bedroom and I would sleep in my office some nights with my female. But now I wake up to all three cats on my bed. It’s really quite sweet now.

They still don’t “love” each other but at least they tolerate one another. The dog, eh, he could care less.

12

The single biggest problem I have found with keeping a dog with a cat is that the dog likes to eat the cat poop. And trying to restrict the dog’s access to the litter box, while still giving the cat access, is a pickle. (On the one hand, hey, it’s a free litter-box cleaning…but on the other hand, DAMMIT, that’s gross and dogs like to lick their owners with that tongue!)

If you’re thinking I have a solution, think again. :smiley: We had a cat door into the garage that the dog couldn’t fit through, but I don’t think that will work in an apartment. (Unless, of course, your management has no problem with large square holes being cut out of various doors.)

Now I have one dog, and no cats. (I’m with you, jmpride, incidentally, about the cats…I grew up with 'em, and some cats are fabulous, but they do give new meaning to the supposedly canine term “bitch.”)

13

Combining households of pets can be a tricky business, just like combining households of kids. When the cats move in, they will almost definitely not be happy campers. All their stuff has been rearranged, everything smells like that woman who doesn’t like them, and there are dogs hanging around now.

You seem to have already made plans for them to have their own little dog-free haven, and that’s a good start. When you let them all fraternize, though, be prepared for the cats to go on the offensive. After all, the best defense is a good offense, especially for a pretty assertive cat.

Your dogs will probably get several good slaps upside the head each, and the cats may even draw a little blood off their noses. STAY OUT OF IT. The cats can’t seriously hurt a couple of Goldens. Don’t chase the cats down to punish them; that will only teach the dogs that kitty-chasing is an owner-sanctioned sport. The only time either of you should interfere is if somebody looks in danger of getting more than a scratch or two.

Leaving the cats with the run of a bedroom and bath seems reasonable enough during the day, but it’s a good idea to shut the dogs in the other bedroom for a period each evening and let the kitties loose. Oh, and make sure everyone gets equal attention from both of you. As has been pointed out before, animals know when you play favorites and they hold it against you. Sibling rivalry is NOT limited to human kids.

14

This is more for audrey than the OP…

depending on what kind of doors your apartment has that you plan to put the litter box behind you can use one of two methods…

sliding doors… try a bar or broomhandle cut so the door will only open enough to allow cat entry… just be sure they cant paw it from the track (you may have to be devious here)

hinge doors… try a chain lock that keeps the door open just enough for kitties but not doggies to slip through.

15

I talked to my landlord about it, and he suggested installing a child security gate on the other bedroom door. He said that he would do it for free, because they have them available to tenants who want to control the activities of their children. He said that he would install it a little higher than normal to allow the cats entry under the gate but the dogs would not be able to get through. I seriously doubt they would want to anyway. I think at least initially they could care less as long as the cats are not bothering them. Another benefit, it would keep them out of the litter box. The thought of them eating cat poop is just to gross to even consider. I do have problems confining two golden retrievers to one room however. They are large dogs and that bedroom is not very big, and they would be even more miserable if they were crated for extended periods of time.