I hate change, I really, really do. Even changes that are good and that I want. I detest it.
So I recently moved from a cramped apartment in a shitty neighborhood to a nice little adobe house in a decent neighborhood. It is wonderful- a huge fenced backyard, huge rooms, washer and dryer, etc. I’ve been dreaming of this day for a long, long time, as I had major problems with upstairs neighbors at my old apartment. I’ve redecorated my living room, too, with new furniture and accessories, and it’s just how I want it save for putting a couple more pictures up but with adobe walls you can’t just hammer a nail in. It’s lovely. It’s QUIET, which I adore. I like it, a lot.
And yet, I’ve noticed in the past that when I experience a big change, I tend to go into a little depression for a few weeks- not so much to incapacitate me, but just enough to feel cranky, tired, and a wee bit hopeless. And I am experiencing those things starting a few days after we moved in.
I don’t want to take medication, as I don’t feel that the problem is extreme enough to tolerate the side effects that I know (from experience) that I will suffer. If I felt that medication was warranted, I’d see my doctor. So far, I’ve been spending a lot of time outside relaxing, and a lot of time walking briskly in my new safe neighborhood, eating somewhat better, and making sure I have a lot of alone time. These things seem to be helping, but do any of you suffer from this change-related mood disorder, and if so, do you have any tips that help?
I hate to move. The last one sent me into a depression that it took September 11th to rock me out of. (It put a neurochemical imbalance into perspective.)
If you had an ear infection, you’d take anti-biotics and get plenty of rest. So, get plenty of exericise and consider the medication.
Try listening to Mo-town, Springsteen, Pavarotti and C&W. [Avoid Dylan, Lou Reed, and rap.]
Take vitamins, cut back on caffiene and alcohol.
Concentrate on getting things done, rather than doing them perfectly.
I like changes in living conditions. I like the adventure of exploring a new place, finding new hang-outs, and taking in all the new scenery. Shyness is a constant companion, but there’s something fun about meeting new people as well.
But I hate going from one job to another. I’ve never been able to start a new job without suffering from a horrible period of disorientation, self-doubt, and anxiety. It takes me about a year and a half to really feel like I can do a job; before that, I’m just constantly waiting to be fired. That’s why I hope I can stick with my current position for a long time.
Yeah, changing jobs is really hard. I’m “highly sensitive”, so I am very resistant to change of anything. I get so used to how things are, and then POW! I’ve been in this house over a week, and still, every time I go into a room I’m like “Whoa!”
It’s good to know I’m not the only one that moving throws into a tailspin, though. It seems odd to have such a great place and know that we’re going to be so happy here, and yet… ugh, I want to cry, and I don’t know why. Except I do know- it’s the unfamiliarity which I loathe.
On the plus side, I’m going to Vegas for 3 days next week! Woo-hoo! That will help- I haven’t been on vacation in forever.
Oh, and I’ve been listening to a lot of music, but it’s more like Prince, Gladys Knight, and Amy Winehouse- that’s what comforts me.
I moved back in June (a good move - double the square footage and into a house the likes of which I never thought I’d find) and I’m still out of whack some days. I’m a homebody, and having my “nest” disrupted throws me completely off.
I took several days off of work for the move (even though it was only four miles north) because little things like finding my toothbrush were becoming monumental tasks. After I moved, if I got in a funk, I’d distract myself with a project. Sometimes they’re projects to improve the house (that’s an ongoing thing and will be for the next 20yrs), and sometimes it’s a project to take my mind off the house (like spinning laceweight mohair yarn). Either way I find keeping busy is a good way to work through the upheaval. I find it takes about a year for me to feel settled.
Moving doesn’t stress me out (once all the damn unpacking is done!) but like Monstro mentioned, a new job does me in so I can sympathize with the feeling of disorientation and even depression.
A new job makes me feel self-conscious, doubtful, ignorant and even foolish. Like everybody’s watching me and coming to the conclusion that I’m an idiot. I don’t know where this paranoia comes from, but I hate it. Generally takes about a month for it to wear off…once people stop referring to me as The New Girl.
I wish you happy days in your new home very soon, Alice!
I love change on a large scale. I like the adventure, the feeling of “starting fresh”. I hate moving, but only because I have done it (no lie) 9 times in the past 2 years. But I will jump on a change without hesitation. Move across the country? No problemo. Across the world? When do we leave? I get bored very easily and find it much more invigorating to constantly redefine and reshape my life.
On the other hand, small-scale change, like rearranging my office? Can’t stand it. Maybe it’s because of the dynamic of my life in general; when I am always going through such major shifts, there’s a degree of comfort in keeping the little things just the same. I don’t change brands, or TV shows, or the general structure of my day. Keep the little, sweep the big is my motto.
Long story short, it’s a quick read about four characters who have it made in the shade, so to speak. Every day Sniff and Scurry, the two mice, lace up their running shoes and go out looking for cheese. Hem and Haw, miniature humans, on the other hand, get fatter and fatter because they keep going to where they know where the cheese is. When the cheese disappears, and they need to change, the mice have no problem going out looking for new cheese (I think the book calls it New Cheese, to symbolize it), while the humans Hem and Haw, blaming each other, and end up almost starving because they refused to change. IMHO, reading the Wiki article is about as informative as reading the book, you should at least check it out. If nothing else, it’s a cute read.
I can handle it (I’m 37 and I’ve moved 30+ times), but I don’t necessarily like it. I am a conservative, I’m happy to be a conservative, and I believe the term to mean vastly more than its usual political definition. I drive a Toyota, I don’t gamble, I live within five miles of my birthplace, I believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
I’d be happy for it to be 1975 forever (though I’d like the internet, please).
I always make it a point to ask, “What’s in it for me?”, particularly when the change is not of my choosing. Then I try to make the most of the opportunities both big and small that come from it.
The roughest time doing this was during a layoff from a job I had for 15+ years. I got into some serious depression and came within hours of having to file for bankruptcy, but I got a dream job out of it as well as knocking a few items off my bucket list in the process.
Five years later, I’d still like five minutes alone in a dark alley with the manager that cut me loose; after beating the sh!t out of him, I’d thank him for what he did because I’m now better off than I was.
Change has pretty much been the hallmark of my existence since the day I was born, and I actually believe it is the hallmark of everyone’s existence whether they want it to be or not. Change is not only inevitable, it is constant and even though it may be subtle, it’s always there (think of your cells dying and regenerating this very instant to see what I mean.) I think because of how often my circumstances changed when I was a kid, I’m very adaptable to change in general. I have the benefit of feeling like I can make just about any place, whether it’s a lavish mansion or a cramped apartment, my home.
Having said that, I hate moving with a crazed passion. I moved so many times when I was young, and then in college the constant changing of apartments got tedious. I hate packing… it’s not really the change I despise so much as the feeling of loss (oh, and the work. I hate the work.) Once I’ve got everything packed and carried into the house, I am generally absolutely delighted to unpack and set up my ‘‘new’’ life in my ‘‘new’’ space.
Moving in general is a stressful experience, and so are major life changes – they even have a clinical term for this –adjustment disorder. It’s normal to feel out-of-whack even when positive life events, like marriage or winning the lottery, change your life significantly. I think you’re definitely doing the right thing by staying active and focusing on the positive. Just like your domicile is inevitably impermanent, so too is your mood.
In college, when I could shove everything I owned into the back seat of a Pinto, moving was fun.
I didn’t mind it when I had enough to fill a 500 square foot efficiency apartment.
Now, I have a 1500 square foot farmhouse and several outbuildings, and moving downright sucks. It took pros to get us from Indiana to Virginia, and more pros to go the 70 miles south into North Carolina. I think the only way I’ll ever get out of my place now is by croaking and selling all at an estate auction.
I get the same way sometimes. I abuse alcohol and talk to many friends online. I pretty much stay glued to my computer. I feel better in about a week, and the last few major changes I haven’t had this happen, so … yeah!