How do you deal with frustration?

[Rachellelogram]

That advice about separating response from reaction was really helpful to me. Thanks

[Mangetout]

I divert my attention to something else that I do have control of. I have endless lists of things I would like to do at some point in my life - if I find myself frustrated in any particular matter, I pick another thing on the list and get to work on it.

If I am frustrated by circumstances that make change of action impossible - for example stuck in a train station due to a fatality on the line (happens to me several times a year) or unable to sleep, I work on my lists.

[CanvasShoes]

@SpoilerVirgin

This reminds me of a cognitive therapy technique for dealing with unpleasant situations - it’s called the three P’s:

Ask yourself

• Is it pervasive? Does this situation affect your entire life, or is it only impacting one tiny part?

• Is it permanent? How long is this situation going to last? Is it, as ITR champion suggests, something that’s probably going to be gone in a day, or a week?

• Is it personal? Is this something that’s specifically directed at you, or is it a situation that a ton of other people are currently facing, that really has nothing to do with you?

Thinking about a frustrating situation in terms of the three Ps can be very helpful in putting it in perspective and helping you to remain calm.

Love it!

[James_Toothpaste]

I basically blow up real bad. I don’t see any reason not to. I get really mad when I am frustrated. It really bothers me when things don’t go my way or when people try to boss me around. :mad:

[SpoilerVirgin]

@James_Toothpaste

I basically blow up real bad. I don’t see any reason not to. I get really mad when I am frustrated. It really bothers me when things don’t go my way or when people try to boss me around. :mad:

Do you see any negative consequences from blowing up? Does it make things more likely to go your way, or make people less likely to boss you around? If it’s working for you, that’s great, but it sounds like it’s not working for the OP, who is looking for better ways to deal with frustration.

[Lakai]

@Asympotically_fat

Obviously this has come from a situation that I have had to deal with very recently, one thing I would ask for advice on is how do you deal with a situation when someone has frustrated you, but in allowing yourself to be frustrated I’ve been unfair to this person. I feel quite happy to say that I was unfair, but it seems to me the danger in only acknowledging that some of the quite reasonable points I made, in an albeit not in the most effective manner, could be disregarded.

Can you be more specific?

If not, then the only advice I can give is that if you were unfair to this person, then none of the reasonable points you made will be considered unless you apologize for the unfairness first.

In other words, acknowledging the unfairness on your part will make it less likely that your reasonable points will be disregarded, not more.