I have relative who is able to share a job-related perk. The perk is somewhat restricted and unreliable, but if you can assume that risk, it’s very helpful and economical when things work out.
The problem is, whereas most people would provide the perk, explain the limitations, and expect to be thanked deeply and sincerely (and possibly a reciprocating favor), that’s not enough for her. She has to hover over the whole process, fret over every twist and turn, obsess over every detail, email several times a day with new ideas and concerns, pry into the details of the experience… you get the picture, I hope.
Really, my only option is to say “I’m sorry, but I find it worthwhile to pay the extra $1200 rather than deal with your over-helper neurosis.” Of course, I can’t say it exacdtly like that, but because I can’t, the pattern is going to pop up with other things.
How do you deal with people who are supremely over-invested in “being helpful”, as opposed to actually helping?