Have you ever gone to a party, had a little too much to drink, and then the next morning had that awful feeling when you remember the stuff you said/did?
Apart from not doing that in the first place :smack: , or drinking enough **not to remember anything ** :smack: :smack:, how do you deal with that awful feeling?
Apologize. In person if possible. As soon as possible.
Depends on what it was.
“I’m really sorry about last night; I was drunk off my face.”
“I’ll pay for the damages.”
“Please tell me this is not up on Youtube.”
“So, the doctor told me I should contact my most recent sex partners, just to be safe . . .”
Me? I go to AA, that helps me deal with it. But I had to move out of Denial to do that.
Apologies work for some, but since I kept repeating the behavior, my apologies became worthless.
AA works nicely for me, and keeps me from brooding about all the stupid things I once did. Of course, it has also kept me from doing quite so many stupid things since, too.
Oh, like that time my freshman year when I decided it was a great time to try to convert a very religious (now in seminary somewhere, I think) acquaintance that all religions were oppressive and for weak-minded idiots, christianity especially so, and that atheism was the only morally-acceptable stance? Did I mention that he was really just a guy I had one class with, and we had this conversation as he was walking me home to make sure I got there safely, after he’d noticed I’d had way too much to drink at a party, and I called him a knight in shining armor?
I apologized, profusely, in person the next day. Then I did my best to avoid him for the rest of the semester and swore off heavy drinking (which lasted until the next big party).
Yeah last party I went to i threw up on their BBQ and in there sink…I have tried calling but they will not talk to me 
I appreciate your answers, folks. It does help, not to feel like I’m the only person it ever happened to, also.
Qadgop, fear not. It’s because I almost never drink that I don’t know how to maintain my otherwise reserved demeanor (relatively speaking) when tipsy. I am talking about two glasses of wine, and one shot of jägermeister. Honestly, I think it was the latter that did it. Once before, about nine years ago, it turned me into the Wild Woman of Wongo.
Like when I drank a bottle of champagne and another of vodka when I was 16, on a school trip in Russia, and called my history teacher a “fucking wanker”??? I lost 10 hours of my life, and the stories that came back about my behaviour were horrifying.
Fess up.
Call them, say “I can’t remember anything about last night. Whatever I did, I’m so, so sorry.” Then take any approbation on the chin, and make such amends as you have to - because you’re just as guilty drunk as you would be sober. If not moreso (wasn’t that Plato?).
The only vaguely good news (because this isn’t a good situation all round) is that a creeping feeling of shame and impending doom can also be a byproduct of a terrible hangover, and may not necessarily be the result any bad behaviour.
Just my personal opinion - Anyone serving Jager shots is used to this kind of thing. Or should be.
Call, ask, apologize, don’t drink stuff you’re not used to.
Or drink so much that you don’t remember anything from the night before - no memory, no apology 
Slight hijack - my friends and I call this an “emotional hangover”. It’s especially bad when you suddenly have a flashback and remember what you did/said the night before and cringe.
In Denmark we have a tried and true regimen for this: You invite all your friends our for a kvajbajer (a shame-beer) and apologize. Then laugh.
At least you’re someone else’s good story.
I apologise, and hope they were too drunk to remember what I’m actually apologising for.
It’s not happened recently though. I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to!
Not a hijack at all! Highly germane, in fact! Wow, what an awesome tradition. You know, I think it’s largely the modern/American emphasis on being perfect and blameless and unassailably “cool” at all times that makes the chagrin so agonizing. (not that people aren’t like that elsewhere too)
Oh, and Bobotheoptomist, and jjimm, and AngelicGemma, you each made excellent points which I hadn’t thought of. All of which make me feel better.
I did? Purely unintentional, I assure you.
I essentially quit drinking 13 years ago, so I’m a bit out of practice in apologizing for the night before. Well, except for poor performance in … You know what? Just never mind. 
I don’t know what it is about Jagermeister. It’s not even as strong as ordinary booze, but people so often seem to either get extremely drunk and/or do regrettable things on it.
“Regrettable”. Perfect word. Covers everything.
Must be that secret herb blend. :dubious:
Jager and tequila have never ended well for me, regardless of the amount drank. I think it’s the circumstances more than anything else - taken in shots, one after the other, usually after people are already a bit drunk.
To the OP: if this is your first time doing something like this and you were with good friends, odds are it won’t be a big deal. Seriously, I could tell you many, many stories of mornings waking up with the feeling of “Last night, did I…? Oh, yes, yes, I did. Shit.” and yet my friendships have all remained intact, somehow. The feeling of guilt is usually greater than what the action in question actually calls for (although there are those rare times that you actually do something while drunk that still bring up pangs of regret years later . . . but I digress).
On a lighter note, you could just try the line used by a member of the Algonquin Round Table (sorry, I can’t remember which):
“I will never forgive you after the way I behaved last night.”
HazelNutCoffee: Not the first time, but the first time in years. Old friends whom I’ve known forever, with the addition of a friend of theirs whom I’d met once before a few years ago (the four of us went out for the evening that time) and was attracted to.
I was - shall we say - rather forward with the gentleman in question. Mind you, I don’t believe it was without encouragement. Just kinda tacky. I have a “nothing ventured, nothing gained” philosophy about that kind of thing, but I was I think rather over the top.
As the saying goes: “Half of the fun in getting drunk is storytime the day afterwards.”
I have problems with blacking out sometimes. For me it’s like a light switch though, so I don’t remember anything after a certain point. Things to do: A) Find out what happened. B) If you did something bad, apologize and take appropriate action. Being drunk is no excuse. C) If an isolated incident, don’t sweat it. If part of a pattern, then think deeply about how you use alcohol.
I speak from experience, both good and bad. I have destroyed urinals, woken up in strange places, puked on airplanes, but there’s been a hellofa lot of wonderful times too.
One last thought, stay away from Jager. That stuff’s bad news.
Heh. Jim Stafford had it right:
“The more that you remember the more your self-respect decreases
And you can’t stop the night before from coming back in bits and pieces…”
(Full lyrics here)