If you purchase a reputable take-out style pie, be it day or evening, the result can be as great as excellent, yetbad as heartburn. Or it can be as good as fresh horseradish on a hard-boiled egg at Easter (heartburn followed by chocolate). Here nor there, what do you do with the box?
Slide it under the VW. Two drops of motor oil less that visit the pavement.
Shread it with a utility knife. Great kindling for the wood stove that smells like little Sicily until it actually burns.
Roll (by hand) it in the sink as the running water soaks into the core of whichever blends of cardboard the thing consists of (typically, there will be a ‘floater’. Then roll it, squeeze it, and fold it in two and fling it around like a baseball bat. VEE-ola…
My first posting and I’m getting all special on myself and answering my own question. Do over!
How do you discard a pizza box? Shove it into the bag and the bag rips. Set it aside and (with the anchovies) it gets stinky. The garbage guys don’t like it and even if you shave the cheese out of the innards, the recycling powers-that-be don’t like either. How do YOU (almighty dopers) get through this?
What’s a b****slap?
Landsakes, I hope I didn’t upset you!
In case I’m posting cross-eyed this time o’ the night – howdy, dude, nice t’ see ya, and take care of them pizza boxes.
(Still mind your step – Ice Wolf might be shedding!)
hecks no! A b****slap is simply a bitchslap… but I was trying to avoiding swearing. For example, your little brother steals the TV remote while you’re watching a great show or movie. He then switches it to cartoon central where there’s a commercial. Then he switches it back and you’ve missed a great thing on your channel. You bitchslap him, usu. in the form of a noogie or charlie horse. Can’t upset me besides I’m the new guy…
hmm, some kerosene and a zippo might help
or
leave it on a neighbors doorstep and run like hell
or
sell it on eBay as a excellant strage device that easily stacks on top of each other
Welcome indeed to the pages of the Straight Dope Board! Hope you enjoy your stay. You raise an interesting question.
May I briefly hijack your thread to thank you for using asterisks in your colloquialism related to slapping? (B****slap). It’s not really a very attractive expression, in my mind, but I suppose one has to move with the times and I know it is in constant use by many of the “rappers” and other popular singers.
And I appreciate your explanation that although it may have originally referred to the treatment ladies of the night received from their so-called protectors, it’s meaning has changed to cover small-scale innocent sibling violence.
In my day the expression “hot pants” came similarly out of the shadows. It was a nearly indecent expression that described lustful longings that men might express. Then one day it was born again as a name for very short shorts for women. It took me many months before I could bring myself to utter the phrase, back then.
But why I personally prefer to see you write b****slap, rather than spell it out in full, is that in my opinion, if I may be candid, there is already too much swearing in these fucking pages as it is.
What do you do with pizza boxes? If you’re in college, you:
Keep your leftover pizza in them. Refridgerators are for wimps.
Leave them on the floor for that special (and quite necessary) dorm room ambience.
Whilst under the influence of your drug of choice, stare at the box and consider its assertion that, having tried all the rest, you would be well advised to try the best.
Put them in the trash room downstairs (girls only).
Now that I’m done being unhelpful, I’ll tell you that I have no idea how one would go about making it easier to dispose of pizza boxes; good question.
I gotta go with Ice Wolf on this one. RECYCLE! I’m not a rabid “Save The Earth” type, But in my city, (Burlington, Ont.) pizza boxes are accepted in our bi-weekly curbside pickup.
I just place them between my bluebox of empty wine bottles and the one full of two weeks of newspapers.
OK people, I’ll play straight man here. Might as well.
Assuming no midnight dumpster runs (Sunday mornings are actually better…)
First, for plastic garbage pails, break them into small pieces (not that hard to do), and into the garbage bag. Careful of sharp edges
For metal cans (hate them), stomp flat (after removing end, using chisel or hacksaw or whatever), and put out on rubbish night (or regular trash night).
For pizza boxes, fold into quarters, and stomp flat (or at least flatter). Add a piece of tape if the box keeps unflattening, and put into the garbage bag.
Basically, small & flat = good.
I see the disposal of a pizza box as an opportunity to demonstrate my mastery of the advanced martial arts skills that I worked so hard to develop by watching a Bruce Lee movie one Saturday afternoon a few years ago.
If you promise to follow in the way and use your powers for good, not evil, Grasshopper, I shall teach you this ancient Asian techinique for reducing Pizza boxes to a managable size.
Mental preparation and body position is critical. Clear your mind of all worldly thoughts except for the reduction of the pizza box. Stand in a clear area with your feet about shoulder width apart and the pizza box held horizantally and gripped by the edges in both of your hands, as though you were receiving it from the pizza delivery guy. This shows respect for the spirit of the consumed pizza which gave of its body for your nourishment and refreshment.
Slowly and deliberately rotate your hands at the the wrists so that the pizza box is in a vertical attitude. Then lower your arms so that the pizza box so that it is centered in front of your lower abdomen while constantly adjusting your wrists so that the box remains vertical. This represents the consumption of the pizza and its journey into your digestive system to become one with your body.
While standing on one foot, raise your other leg so that its knee is between the center of the pizza box and your body, demonstrating the energy and movement ability provided to you by the nutirition of the pizza.
Inhale deeply and as you exhale violently with a loud HEEEYYAAHHHH sound pull the pizza box in toward your abdomen while driving your knee outward toward the box. This represents the emptiness of the vessel of the pizza box after the consumption of the pizza.
If your performance was acceptable to the gods, you will find yourself with a pizza box folded neatly in half. Repeat this process holding the folded box by its two short, doubled sides, and the pizza box should be reduced into quarters, showing the utter worthlessness of the box without the pizza. You may then place it reverently into an appropriate disposal facility.
We looked into a recycling program for our customers. We thought of collecting old boxes when we made a new delivery and take them to a collection bin at our story.
Problem: grease. Grease makes the cardboard unrecyclable.
As to the OP: I save up my pizza boxes until trash & recycling day. I place all my pizza boxes bookcase-style between my recycle bin and trash can. This keeps them from blowing away, and generally the small critters in my neighborhood can’t pull them out. The trash man usually comes first, so he empties my can and picks up all the boxes.
Golly, just stick them into an empty trash bag, and take that outside. Not a good idea if you’re into so-called recyling, since you’re wasting a bag and the box, but YOU pay for trash service and your own trash bags, so don’t let anyone attempt to bully you out of it.
