I only kiss my wife and my daughter on the lips at this point, although I used to kiss all female family members and other close female friends in this way, before I was married. Now with F family members, its usually a “just-off-the lips” kiss (not a cheek or fake cheek kiss).
Most of my wife’s friends I’m introduced to I’ll shake hands with (not a cold fish, but not overly-firm either- and bases of thumbs don’t touch), and as I get to know them, I’ll cheek-kiss. I don’t make it a habit everytime I see them; just if it seems comfortable/appropriate. Sometimes a hug is more apropos one reason or another.
Almost all guys get handshakes - firmer but not vise-grip like unless I get that on the other end. Old friends can get hugs on final goodbyes after reunions. Certain guys who do it often I will match with the handshake/bro-shake/slap on the back hug, but it’s not my thing to initiate.
A three step soul handshake can often make me feel real WHITE, but I can pull it off once if the other guy isn’t trying too hard to out-brotha me.
Younger daughters of couples we’re closer friends with can seem awkward at goodbye times - a hug works sometimes to overcome this, but isn’t always natural. Teen & pre-teen boys receive handshakes/high-fives. I’ll even resort to a wave or group-wave goodbye to the kiddies if I don’t get a warm vibe.
Kiss my husband and son on the lips. My dad and mom somewhere on the face but not the lips. Hugs as well. My brothers I hug. Do I kiss them anymore? Maybe sometimes as a goodbye. Others, totally depends - hug my friends, male and female sometimes, and sometimes not. Doesn’t everyone shake hands when introduced to strangers? I guess that depends too- if it’s not a formal situation, such as certain parties, no hand-shaking. All my mom’s family is very kissy and huggy, so I kiss and hug almost all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins on her side when we see each other (once a year or less, so we’re excited to see them).
I hug my daughters and usually kiss them on their foreheads or cheek, but sometimes on the lips. I give my mom and sisters a quick hug; I shake my dad’s and my brother’s hands. My MIL insists on planting a kiss on me, usually on the lips but I’ve learned to quickly turn and give her the cheek, then we hug. I shake my FIL’s hand. Other female relatives and friends get a quick hug. Male relatives get a handshake.
However, some old (as in longtime) male friends get a bro-hug, even though my own bro doesn’t get one.
Every night when I get home from work my wife gets a kiss on the lips, then a hug, then another kiss, then we exchange assgrabs. If she completes the routine by groping my crotch and some tongue in the kiss, it’s a signal for sexyfuntimes when the kids are in bed.
I get the feeling my MIL would prefer a kiss on the lips, but I’ve always managed to turn it as well. I’m obligated to firmly shake my FIL’s hand coming/going, but I don’t have a problem with it. With my own Dad, I usually have to initiate any handshake or hug, so it’s once every three or four times - maybe that’s where my awkward feelings for these formalities come from? :dubious:
In my family, it’s hugs all around for the women and between men/women. Men do the handshakes between them, except at extremely emotional moments when they get hugs. Parents will sometimes cheek-kiss the adult kids.
Just for the record - white female between 45 and 50. Paternal relatives orthodox Jew, maternal relatives Catholic.
My MIL used to do that lip-kiss thing and I found it beyond creepy. I also learned that that is the extent of her physical contact with humans–no hugs or other touching whatsoever (which finally explained Mr. Akimbo’s odd touch issues) (not that he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t know how). My parents were hugs and cheek kisses upon greeting or leaving. I never see my brothers, but the rare times I used to, it would be a silly wave and “hi” in a silly voice from them and me simultaneously from a couple feet away. Here at home it’s kiss on lips for hubby and spaniel, hugs for friends.
If I’m meeting an important stranger, a brief handshake. My husband gets a hug and kiss. Everybody else—Mom, siblings, nieces/nephews—gets a nod and a wave.
I’m a white female in my early 50’s. My family came from Pennsylvania, of Dutch, German, Irish, and English extraction, and we don’t hug. We don’t kiss, we don’t do anything that involves more skin contact than a handshake if you’re over the age of ten. Under ten, there’s some minimal lap-sitting, hugging, and forehead-kissing, but after that, it’s a hearty handshake for you, missy! Sometimes, in the grip of strong emotion, we will lean in close enough to add a back-pat to the handshake.
My husband’s family is from the midwest, of mostly Irish and English extraction. They hug. They kiss, sometimes on the lips. They express love verbally rather than just assuming you know you’re loved because they’ve provided for you or sent you Christmas cards. As you can imagine, I had a certain amount of culture shock to overcome when I joined their family thirty-one years ago.
Nowadays, after decades of my mother-in-law’s gentle persuasion, I hug all family members. I routinely cheek-kissed my mother-in-law, but not my father- or brother-in-law. I’ll cheek- or forehead-kiss my grown kids. I’m forever telling the members of my family that I love them. I’ve even hugged my own brother! However, my husband is the only person I’ll kiss on the lips (we also do other stuff, but because of the aforementioned family background, I don’t acknowledge any of it in public).
Aside from family and very close friends, though, I offer a handshake. And the aforementioned pat-on-the-back when circumstances call for it.
Erk. I would be freaked out by an on-the-lips kiss from anyone other than the spouse.
I don’t initiate hugs with anyone other than my husband, kids, parents, and maybe brother and very, very close, longtime friends. My in-laws are hugging/cheek-kissing types. It’s been closing in on 20 years and I still find it uncomfortable. In professional settings, I’ll shake hands. In social settings, I’ll just say hi. I really like physical contact, but I prefer that it come from my spouse, kids, and cats.
Hugs all around for everyone. In my family, it’s coupled with a cheek kiss when leaving for the final time (they live far away so we see them only every few months). In my husband’s family, everyone hugs everyone when they leave even though we see each other a few times a week. Some members of his family also kiss - it’s usually the women and usually on the cheek for me. I’ve made it known I’m uncomfortable with lips kisses and they bug me about it, but generally honour it. Some special occasions, like our wedding, holidays, etc., I get cheek kisses from the men in my husband’s family too.
I only kiss my husband and Sable (a family foster child that we are looking to adopt) on the lips.
ETA: Oh, and toddlers/young kids in the family that have a thing about kisses on the lips.
ETA2: Close friends get hugs. Coworkers and non-close friends get a handshake or nothing.