This is a bit long - but I’ve tried to provide sufficient background for consideration. I come from a family branded with the “protestant work ethic”. We don’t admire whiners. We aren’t sissies. We don’t run off to doctors until whatever ailment has gone on a couple of weeks with no sign of improvement.
I have at latest count, 4 autoimmune diseases, (MS, CREST, RA, Hashimoto’s). I also have garden variety middle-aged ailments: high BP, high cholesterol, etc. On top of those I have some syndromes unrelated to the above. I have sleep apnea and borderline narcolepsy. All symptoms are controlled by medication. (Better living through pharmaceuticals - that’s my motto). In the past year I’ve had 10 (count 'em) 10 bouts of cellulitis. I now have a standing order for antibiotics and as I finish one round, I renew the script for the next.
I try not to whine or ask for any special allowances as a result of my problems. Many people at work have no idea that I have anything challenging me, as even my MS is mostly invisible (sensory and cognitive issues).
I’ve worked my entire adult life. I’m now 54 and my rhuematologist (sp?) told me yesterday that I’m a pretty good candidate for pulmonary hypertension. Which in a quick and scary on-line read looks pretty grim.
I don’t take more sick time than anyone else at work, and in fact typically I take fewer. The one advantage to a revved up immune system is that I don’t tend to catch run-of-the-mill illnesses.
However, I’m getting tired of dragging my sorry ass in to work while on another round of antibiotics and popping additional medication (none of which has fun as a side effect) through the day to stay in the game. I’m frankly a bit scared of this new potential condition.
I could probably be approved for long term disability through my work. Without my medication I am 100% disabled now as I can’t keep my head up for more than 3 hours at a time without.
In my position - would you be considering LTD? When would you feel that you’d had enough of the grind given that new diagnoses continue to pile on?
Does it feel somewhat immoral to anyone else to give in at this point?
I’ve had problems in the past with doing too much and ending up making things worse for myself, and I’m still learning when to say, “Enough. I can do more if I really force myself, but it’s time for a break.” I think you’re at that point. Be kind to yourself - start looking after your health instead of working yourself into an early grave.
Look. I don’t know if you believe in a God but as far as I’m concerned this is it. This is your one go-round. No one ever laid on their deathbed and said “I wish I had worked more.”
The time for a break is NOW. Talk to your boss, if you feel guilty. Schedule a day to go out on LTD, and wrap up whatever you feel you need to by then. Then, get out!
I’d go out on LTD and file for SSID. You have earned it and it’s your money in there. You can stay home for 18 months at 3/4 pay until SSI kicks in and then enjoy what life you have left.
Should, Would and Could, have no place in your decision. Look at it from a medical point of view. You are 100 percent disabled and working, why? To show people you are somebody? You are somebody no matter what other people think. What other people think of me is none of my business anyway!
You are morally responsible to you. If working is killing you then it is time to retire and enjoy life.
I know when to take a break because I start having crazy nightmares every single night. When I get to a point where I have 3 or more days in a row where I’ve been jerked awake at night due to nightmares I know that something in my life is not right and must be corrected ASAP. In your situation I would probably never stop having nightmares! I personally would take the LTD and use that time to do what I could to improve my health if I were in your shoes. It does you no good to earn a bunch of money if you are miserable.
But have a plan in place before you leave your job. One plan for what you’re going to do while you’re off, because being suddenly unemployed can spark a depression even if you’ve never been depressed before. And another plan for when (if?) you go back to work.
I would take time off if I were you. I just found out yesterday that I tested positive for lupus,* so am struggling with this myself. You’ve worked for all these years, with so many health problems - what makes you think you don’t deserve a break? Hang it up for a while, at least.
*I did not open my own thread for it because I would feel like I’m trolling for attention. But that’s just me.
I don’t think taking a break is immoral or anything like that, but you might want to consider all the financial possibilities before you make your decision.
There may be some questions you might want to ask a person who knows about your financial situation about your specific situation before you decide. For instance, does your place of employment allow for retirement at 55? If so, might you consider waiting it out?
And once you’re “retired”, I was thinking that I read about someone in a situation similar to yours who started a business advising people how to deal with situations living with chronic illnesses.
I was disabled when I was 46. I had disability insurance that lasted about a year – long enough to get my Social Security Disability straightened out and to begin drawing on my pension. But I would have stopped if I had had nothing but my husband’s income. I took my heath seriously.
It was the best thing that I ever did for myself. But at first I did feel a little bit of guilt because I wasn’t working. My therapist told me that that was natural and not to let it bother me.
Cut yourself some slack. It’s not the end of your creativity. That’s important to remember.
Thanks for your replies, everyone. I have a meeting with HR this morning to discuss my three options: accommodation (work 3 days a week); short term disability (3-6 mos); or long term disability.
I’m going to have a heart-to-heart with my doctor(s) too -
I suppose the upside is that I can spend more time on the Dope
