Okay. I’ll stop. :mwah: (And what I said is true.:))
Hey, look, dlgirl and mrblue…Let’s not hijack a perfectly good flirt thread into a bunch of kissyface. Unless some of it’s directed at me, of course.
Oh, sure. You would like that wouldn’t you? Well, I am not going to be naughty (for anyone else but mrblue:)). You are just going to have to find someone else to fill that place. I am sure someone else would be more than happy to…
I don’t happen to have any pics of my legs handy, though there may be some buried amidst the records of the festivities at ChiDope, as I was wearing my typical brief skirt at that rather notable event, thus affording an excellent view of the aforementioned fabulous gams; however, I am disinclined to search for them at the moment, so unless you find yourself with sufficient spare time to find them your own damnself, it appears a private showing it will have to be.
Parse that and I just might sleep with ya.
Well?
Sam Clam and Larry Lobster were best friends at the bottom of the ocean. One day they wandered into shallow rocky waters when a hurricane came through and smashed them both against the rocks. Larry instantly found himself at the Gates of Heaven where he was greeted by Peter himself…
The rest of the story is really good and funny, honest. But I won’t tell it here. Because here is where I am supposed to say the things to make you smile and nod and want to fire off an email to me. Here is where I mention by great job and my impeccable hygiene. And you make a mental note and think “Yeah”. And I say how I like my beer dark and my hockey live and absolutely no ketchup on my hot dogs. And then you quietly mouth “Yes”. And I continue on about how I like all the things you like, almost certainly, like ice cream and jazz music on a warm summer evening. And then you try to resist the urge to scream out “Yes! Yes!” at the top of your lungs, because you don’t want to upset your co-workers or neighbors. And I mention how I am funny and sincere and whatever else seems to be in vogue these days. But who is kidding whom. What you really need to know is the rest of the story about Larry Lobster. And I tell it better than anyone.
No weirdos or freaks.
And you came here? 
I usually don’t participate in online flirting and I will probably not respect myself in the morning (or after I hit submit), but could someone throw me a bone and give a me a good juicy flirt post? If necessary we can arrange something through paypal.
I’m sliding towards depressed and am feeling lonely, ugly, stupid, fat, and generally unattractive. (How’s thatfor sucky material to work with?)
[sub]God I hope this doesn’t look as pathetic as I know it does![/sub]
JomoMojo, hon’, where’s the original poem you were going to compose for me? 
Watermelon Man, you still haven’t taken my order for a drink yet.
[sigh]
Nobody wants to flirt with me.
Ok, so that would be:
IF I want to see your legs I have 2 choices.
1). Look for pictures from a dopefest where you wore a mini-skirt.
2). Be disinclined to do that and “settle” for a private showing.
I choose option number 2. And since I did the parsing, sleeping with Geobabe remains in the maybe category instead of in the not-on-your-life category. Yay me!
Yeah really. Didja read the thread before ya posted that, chum? We’ve got a veritable den of virtual iniquity going here. You want something wholesome, look…uh, in threads I haven’t posted to, I guess.
OK, now, where was I? Oh yes:
Well, you never know until you try, do ya?
::blink::
::blink::
::tilting head to one side… yup, still says the same thing::
Hey Geo…[sub]poke[/sub] if I keep [sub]poke[/sub] poking at you, [sub]poke[/sub] will you put up with it for a while [sub]poke[/sub] and then bite me, or [sub]poke[/sub] would you just bite me [sub]poke[/sub] right off the bat?
The bunny rabbit [sub]poke[/sub] seemed to like it…[sub]poke[/sub]
Chomp!
[quickly crosses legs]
I see I’ll have to be careful in doing this…
Let’s see if what I have in my repetoire of things to say to get women to sleep with me… umm…
[kid in back seat voice]will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me?[/kid in back street voice]
That’s about the best I have. No wonder I never get any.
Well, you just gotta poke me in the right place. I promise I won’t bite then.
I was trying to be ironical. 
Have you tried eating spinach?
I can think of 7 I’d like to try right off the bat.
Hon! She called me “Hon”! <walking on cloud 9>
Sorry, sweetie, for days I racked my brains for a word that rhymed with “sugar” but all I could think of was b…
No, I’m not going to say something I would regret later…
Hon is a great place to start
celestina, my hon
Flirtin’ with you is fun
Got my blues on the run
I’ll be the moon to your sun
Let me Yang your Yin
It won’t be a sin
*celestina, my sky
You could make me cry
as long as she doesn’t make the baby jesus cry.