I was wiping after “dropping a few kids off at the pool” the other day, and I started to wonder if I was doing the deed most efficiently. It seems like I always have to use about 100 sheets of paper to do the job right. (depending on the situation of course) There are times that I only need to wipe once and I’m done…but those occasions are quite rare…But I often see my friends, co-workers, strangers in public restrooms, and public dignitaries just waltz into the bathroom, go “ca-ca”, and zip right on out in what seems like seconds. How do people wipe so quickly? Or do they just wipe “half ass” (excuse the pun) and let their underwear do the rest of the job? So, I pose the following poll to the teeming millions …(so that I may expand my wiping repertoire)
When you wipe after completing the good old #2,
Do you stand up and wipe? Or remain seated?
How many sheets do you use? Do you wipe only once? Or do you have to make a few passes?
If you do make multiple passes, Do you examine the paper each time? Do you fold and use the clean part of your original wad, or do you start with a fresh wad for each wipe?
Those with hairy asses…Do you have a “dingle berry” problem no matter how much you wipe?
Does anybody moisten the paper to get to the real sticky stuff?
Feel free to add any points that I did not address specifically…
I stand up and usually require two or three wipes, more if it’s particularly mushy that day. I examine the paper each time to ensure that the deed is done satisfactorally.
I generally don’t get dingleberries unless I have performed a sub-par wipe.
Sadly, I gotta stand. Too much mass in my ass to remain seated and do a proper job. Unfortunately, standing has it’s own class of problems, especially if your brand of TP is real “crumbly.” Nothing leaves an impression on visitors like a commode encircled by wiper fallout.
I, too, use half a roll per bathroom session. I can’t figure out how some folks can be frugal on the tissue.
I fold a few sheets into a big square and wipe. Depending on how much debris there is, I’ll fold that wad up again and reuse.
I don’t mean to hijack, but do any of you sometimes miss the target with the tissue and end up tagging your hand?
I wipe sitting down (or squatting) and I usually use 4-5 squares of t.p. at a time. I’ve also never missed and wiped with my hand! That sounds gross! I’m a pretty clean shitter… not much sticks around for me to wipe so one or two passes is usually sufficient. I’ve never had a problem with dingle berries nor have I ever had a skid mark in my underwear.
Not to hijack either but how exactly does one leave a skid mark in their underwear? Is it from farting (greasy farts or wet farts) or is it from not wiping after dumping??
not every time. Usually fold once and recycle. If it’s at the end of the roll, can probably fold 2x
occaisional dingle berry, but I don’t mind losing a few crunchy butt hairs to get 'em
no, although after a really nasty one I might just opt for the shower
I don’t miss and tag my hand, but sometimes you get that thin ply cheap stuff and it like pops open or something, and then yep, stink finger
I’m a sitter.And use about 6-8 squares , and usually only check after the second wave of paper to see if a third is really needed.I’ve never had a dingleberry problem myself.Only after too much spicy food will i wet some paper and cool off the chocolate starfish.
Ya know - I just have to add that I have never heard of people standing up to wipe. What exactly is the benefit of doing it that way?
Just FYI, my mom was telling me about some new wet wipes on the market for exactly this purpose/use. And yes - we were walking down a deserted beach when she told me too.
You’ve never heard of anyone standing up? I had never heard of anyone sitting down though admittedly I have never asked. I for one wipe standing up. Always have. Actually, I’ve never even considered sitting down to do it. The logistics of accomplishing such an act bewilders me.
2. How many sheets do you use? Do you wipe only once? Or do you have to make a few passes?
I use about 6 or 7. I do this about 4 or 5 times.
3. If you do make multiple passes, Do you examine the paper each time? Do you fold and use the clean part of your original wad, or do you start with a fresh wad for each wipe?
No I do not examine the paper each time. Yes I refold the paper and use it again.
4. Those with hairy asses…Do you have a “dingle berry” problem no matter how much you wipe?
I don’t have a hairy ass.
5. Does anybody moisten the paper to get to the real sticky stuff?
