LOL! I like “ankle shark”. 
dock-sund
Daks-hund, though I have heard dash-hund too. UK. There seem to be way more of those little dogs around the last few years.
No, dachs means “badger,” not “the.”
As a young child, I grew up with a dachshund. We were like brothers. It was always DOCKS-hund (rhymes with ROCKS, and the h was silent or nearly so). I occasionally used “dash-hound” just to be cute. I named him Doxie, after a dachshund that I saw occasionally on Saturday morning cartoons.
In one cartoon scene, this dachshund is shown participating in a baseball game. When he ran around the bases, he could reach each base before leaving the previous base, so he never got tagged out.
I haven’t seen that Germans called them Dackel. The German word that I have seen is Teckel.
There was a famous championship bloodline of dachshunds called Heying-Teckel. I believe the family that raised them lived in the middle of an orange grove that was just two blocks away from where I grew up, in the San Fernando Valley. At least, there was a smallish inconspicuous sign at the entrance to the driveway. It was a small flat iron plate cut out in the silhouette of a dachshund shape, that said Heying-Teckel on it.
I saw my dog’s pedigree once. It was full of Heying-Teckel dogs. I never knew at the time what the significance was. It was many years later, in another city far away, that I came across someone who knew of them and told me that they were a champion line.
ETA: Okay, I see in Wikipedia that the German call them both Dackel and Teckel.
DOG
Voted german way. There is no K sound in there though, but a CH, like in the scottish word loch, or the correct way of pronouncing the name of composer Bach.
Doxund, though it really comes out more like doxen if truth be told.
Maybe it depends on the dialect, but it really does sound more like a “k” to me in German. Listen to the second pronunciation here, as pronounced by a German.
Even the first sounds more like a “k” to me. (And, yes, I know a lot of Low German has ch->k, so “ich” becomes “ick.”)
The Wiktionary’s IPA for the Dachs entry is [daks], not [daχs], so it looks like it is pronounced with a “k” in standard German. “Dach” (“roof”) gets [daχ], but “Dachs” (“badger”) becomes [daks]. I thought I had learned somewhere that “chs” becomes a [ks] instead of [χ]+[s]. See, for instance “Sechs” (“six”) or “Achsel” (“shoulder.”)
In German, I’d use the actual German word, Dackel, pronounced [ˈdakl̩] (roughly, “duckl”). The word is a mild insult here in SW Germany BTW, with a somewhat stronger version Halbdackel, i.e. implying the insultee is not even a full dachshund.
The English word I’d pronounce “duckshoond” (and I’d probably not be understood)
In an English-speaking context I pronounce it as if it were written “doxen”, to rhyme with oxen.
I haven’t heard anyone call them a “dash hound” since I was about 8 years old.
Forgot to say, this was the same woman who told me there was no such word as “cannot”. And she went to a good school!!
Colin.
“DOX-in”
Close to how most people are describing how they say it, but I don’t think I ever pronounce a “d” at the end.
I know I learned this word before I ever saw it in print (hence no d at the end). I still don’t read “daschund” as “doxin” or even “dox-hoond”. I read it as “dash-hound” 
Throatwarbler Mangrove?
DOCKS-und.
Or fur-ry bas-tard, depending on my mood.
Me too.
DOCKS-hoond (“oo” as in “wood”). Never had any pet as a kid, but there was always a family or two with dachshunds in the neighborhood, so I’ve had plenty of occasion to say the word since childhood.
I meant to say in the first option in the poll that “oo” was like “wood.”