How do you shut a cat up?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Himself would be trying less strenuously to get me to keep my promise to “find a home for Stokie” if the damned animal didn’t make so much NOISE. Our other cats make noise when they have a reason to - Stokie is a lot more… talkative. And he talks to himself, I guess. For no reason at all. Usually when we’re watching a really sad, serious movie. “Mow? Mrrrr? Mow! Meeeeeow!” and he doesn’t want anything, and he isn’t just looking for reassurance like Dewey is when he does that - he just talks a lot.

Is there a way to shut him the hell up? Seems unfair to spray bottle him for just talking, but it’s about to get his fuzzy butt adopted by somebody else. Electoshock collar? (I’d consider something like that if it wouldn’t hurt him and just kept it long enough to train him - but obviously it would have to work.) Will anything shut Stokie up?

2

Catnip. Snacks, but you may end up with even more noise and a fatter cat.
At night: turn the heat down so he wants to nap with you or the other cats and not run around yelling.
Toys that cat finds distracting or enjoyable to lick/chew.
Try toys that are like puzzles (have to bat around something or reach/crawl into it to get a snack out).
Spraying now and then isn’t so bad; have you seen how mother cats discipline an obnoxious kitten? They won’t develop a complex over it, assuming you’re nice in general to them.

I’ll assume the shock collar was a bad joke.

3

Interesting input here.

And here.

And here, which notes, interestingly, “Increases in vocalization are also common when
there are changes in the household, such as a move to a new place or a change from
being an outdoor to an indoor pet.” :wink:

Can I address something that wasn’t asked? If Himself wasn’t so anxious for you to “find a home for” ( = “get rid of”) Stokie, would you notice the talking as much? In other words, if Stokie was a cat that you had deliberately adopted, like from a shelter or like taking him off someone’s hands who had to move and couldn’t keep him, would you be noticing the talking? Or would you be learning to tune it out, even celebrating it, as just a part of this cat’s nature?

I know people with Siamese who absolutely exult in the way their cat(s) vocalize.

ETA: Because (attempting to tread lightly here) I’m hearing just a teensy sliver of the beginning of an excuse on his part: He doesn’t want to keep Stokie, so he finds a plausible reason to hasten his exit–he’s noisy. But if you had gone somewhere and chosen Stokie, and he turned out to be a talker, what would Himself’s reaction be?

4

Is the cat deaf or hard of hearing?

5

Himself seriously and legitimately doesn’t really want three cats. He likes Stokie a lot (how couldn’t you? Stokie is the most affectionate cat I’ve ever met) but he just thinks three cats is too much. I think he’s coming around to the idea (I mean, it’s not his choice - it’s my house - but I do care about his opinion) but every time Edison hisses at him, which is coming less frequently I think, or he makes all this damned noise, it’s “You have got to get rid of this cat.” And it is really annoying - I don’t want anybody to think it’s just me trying to appease him. The cat makes a hell of a racket.

I don’t mind it at all during the day or whatever, and the cats come nowhere near our bedroom at night (and nowhere near it during the day either until Stokie gets better at the pooping thing - back to the vet tomorrow for second deworm), but our movie watching time is also, by nature, peak kitty activity time. So we’re watching The Bridge last night, which is about people jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, and it’s a very quiet and contemplative movie, and we had to pause it six or seven times because we couldn’t hear the interviews over the noisemaker. He’s loud, too.

If he’s hard of hearing, then he has hired a sign language interpreter that tells him from anywhere in the house “Mom has opened the cat food!” That took him exactly twelve hours to learn upon adoption from the wild.

That article about change and cats annoying the hell out of you is interesting - I mean, the little guy did get taken in off the street, neutered, stuck in a room with two strange cats, one of whom hates him, etc.

I had not really thought about toys - he hasn’t seemed interested in the toys the other cats like, but that could be because they aren’t his or because he likes another kind, maybe. Maybe he just needs something different to occupy himself with. When he’s in our laps he’s silent (and snuzzly). Dewey cries like that sometimes when we’re watching TV, but he seems to just want a reassuring yell, “We’re in here, Dewey!” and he stops. That’s the infuriating part - what does he want?

ETA - I have wondered if his kind of weird face shape could indicate that there is some Siamese in him. He’s hard to photograph clearly because he’s black and blends into everything, but his muzzle is kind of… long? I don’t know, something about his face.

6

Missed the edit - he does have other annoying street-cat habits that I understand. I mean, it’s a pain in the ass how he will NOT stop going after our food, but I get that and I figure he’ll probably eventually get over it. He bolts his food and then steals the other cats’ food - what do you expect, he doesn’t know there’s really seriously always going to be breakfast and dinner. He’ll either grow out of it or we’ll feed him separately all the time, whatever. And of course the poop issue - going back to the vet tomorrow. But the noise! The noise noise noise noise noise!

7

Interesting. Bobby has an unusually elongated face too, and is a whiner. He usually has a reason for talking, but he has an exceptionally unpleasant voice that’s difficult to get used to.

I sort of doubt it has any relevance, but hey, deformed cat owners unite! :smiley:

8

Drop him off at the Eggroll Station. They’ll take care of business. :eek:

9

You should have considered this before you opened the cat up in the first place. Now go get a mop.

10

Eh, since they remodeled I just don’t feel their cat disposal techniques are up to snuff. Now, the China Hut II on the other hand…

11

Some cats are just talkers. My boy will talk when he’s using his box. Then talk when he’s walking over to get a snack. Or just talk because we’re in the other room and he wants us to know he’s there. I’m not sure what you do exactly besides give him plenty of toys and such to keep him entertained.

12

Well, I’m not any kind of cat maven (I’m allergic, actually), but what pops out at me here is, “Maybe he doesn’t know what toys are for.” Street cat, an’ all. The story about the inner city kids who didn’t know what crayons were, and tried to eat them?

Get your basic piece of string, and teach him to play with toys?

As for stealing the other cats’ food, isn’t that something the cats have to work out for themselves? Not being territorial, social pack animals like dogs, any quibbles over who gets to eat what food is something that cats resolve themselves, was my understanding.

I know people with multiple cats who just keep a humongous thing of kibble on the floor at all times, and the cats help themselves as the spirit moves. Of course, then you miss out on the gratifying two seconds in which your cats deign to acknowledge your existence because you are opening a can, but whatever. :smiley:

13

You never can tell what a cat will like. I have bought numerous toys for my cat, but his alltime favorite is an old piece of rope we had. He loves and adores that stupid rope. He will drop whatever he is doing to chase it if you pick it up. He carries it around with him. Toys I bought for him? Zero interest.

14

This works well for some cats, ok for others, and lousy for those who have cats like the one I had who would gobble everything in sight until she puked.

Given the choice between dealing with cleaning up undigested cat food on a regular basis and putting down only a limited amount of food at a time, we picked the food served twice a day method.

15

Yeah, that’s the thing - I mean, I’d just tell the other cats to grow a spine, but then Stokie ralphs it all up again.

It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even tell the cat vomit from the cat poop. Neither of them smell, by the way. I need to ask the vet about this pressing issue. (Himself refused to weigh in. “Smell this.” “Have you lost your mind?” “No, smell this. It doesn’t smell like anything and I can’t figure out what end it came out of.” “You are obsessed. I’m keeping the cat and getting rid of you.”)

16

What kind of cat is it? Some breeds talk more than others; Maine Coons are famous for it. My girlfriend and I in college had two Maine Coons and they talked constantly, especially the male. If he was awake he was making noise, and loudly. Very loudly.

17

I’m guessing for one reason or another this wouldn’t work for you, because it’s an obvious option, but could he be put in another room during movies?

18

I’m guessing he’s the only one who knows how to run the projector.

19

::raising hand:: Guilty as charged. I enjoy talkative kitties, and Siamese are known to be great conversationalists. Siamese aren’t the only talking cats, though…my daughter has one cat who will wander around her apartment, talking and muttering and chirping merrily all night. Lisa bought a toy which consists of a ball in a circular track with a scratching surface in the middle of the circle. The track is more than half covered, so that the cat can’t extract the ball. At any rate, this toy gives the cat something to do at night other than trying to have a good gossip session with my daughter.

One thing that every cat loves is an empty box. Put an empty box on its side, and let the cat lurk in its new cave. Bonus points if you let one flap hang down so that the opening is half covered.

20

This is something like the toy I was talking about. My daughter got one that’s larger and has a scratching surface in the center of the circle, though.