Well, how? Do you put it in lime? Acid? Use insect activity? Boil off the flesh?
All of the above are valid methods, though each leaves its own forensic mark.
Is there . . . . something you want to share with us, Queen?
How quickly do you need an answer?
Before the police arrive.
Advice from a semi-professional osteologist:
If you have a lot of time and don’t need to recover the smaller or more fragile bones, burial is the way to go. Wrap the carcass in wire mesh and bury for a year or so. Maceration is also a good strategy: essentially, this entails soaking the body in water until it liquefies, then straining the soup to recover the bones. Having assisted in preparing macerated specimens, I recommend that you wear waders and rubber gloves, avoid eating beforehand, and have some bourbon handy.
I do not recommend boiling; the method is very fast but removes collagen, weakening the bones; furthermore, oils from within the bones won’t be removed and instead will migrate to the surface over time, turning the bones yellow, greasy, and stinky.
The best (and certainly most stylish) method, in my opinion, is using flesh-eating (specifically, dermestid) beetles. You can buy them cheaply from a number of sources, though you’d need to breed at suitably large colony first, preferably in a large brick-lined pit in your basement to maximize the atmospheric value. Dermestids take their time but produce beautifully cleaned skeletons.
Good luck, and remember: it puts the lotion on its skin and puts the lotion back in the basket.
Ok, that one flew well over my head. May I ask?
Silence of the lambs. Is what the kidnapper transvestite guy told the victim he had in a hole.
Buffy: A Guide, but no food or water. So it leads me to the sacred place, and then a week later it leads you to my bleached bones?
Giles: Buffy, please… It takes more than a week to bleach bones.
Keep your skirts on, this isn’t for my personal use. My, uh, “aunt” was curious. No, really. Thanks so much, Gam Zeh Yaavor!
Okay, the collagen removal makes sense, but I would have thought boiling would remove oils by melting it out. And I would have thought that burial and beetles would not remove oils.
I’m not completely certain of the mechanism, but the boiled specimens invariably get the yellow stink-grease, while the others rarely do. I guess the most likely explanation is that the boiling itself causes the fats to partially migrate to the surface but can’t completely remove them. Burial allows for heavy-duty microbial decomposition, which takes care of any intracellular lipids. Can any PhDs or MDs out there give a better answer?
I agree that the beetles are the best method, time permitting. If time is an issue, maceration is the way to go. However, burying remains should only be used if you are studying decay rates of buried remains or if you are doing some non-forensic collecting. It definitely shouldn’t be used to “clean” remains that are part of a crime scene as it adds another forensic element and can destroy markings or create new ones.
“Burial has two primary effects on bone. First, mild to extreme cracking and warping of skeletal elements can occur, which takes the same forms already described for burning and weathering. Cracking in buried remains is distinguishable from those due to trauma by the lack of a point of impact. The second effect of burial is erosion of cortical bone. This usually occurs only withe long-term burial or interment in acidic soils; however, the resultant pitting of the normally smooth cortex can appear similar to a disease condition or old-age coarsening. One last effect of burial is not due to the soild, but to the method of excavation. Unfortunately, damage during recovery can leave prominent injuries that may confuse subsequent osteological analysis.”
-Introduction to Foresnic Anthropology 3rd Edition by Steven N. Byers.
True that. I was presuming a relatively neutral or basic depositional environment; you definitely don’t want to bury your corpse in highly acidic soils unless you want its bones to turn to goo.