How do you smuggle a live tiger onto a plane?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1
  1. Start with a very small tiger. A cub, to be precise.
  2. Sedate it heavily. Very heavily.
  3. Pack it in a large suitcase with a lot of stuffed toy tigers (the old “hide a leaf in a forest” principle).
  4. Hope that the airport staff aren’t paying close attention.

Step 4, fortunately, failed the smuggler in this case.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-11104948

Just as well, too. Not just for the poor cub’s sake, but to spare us all the jokes beginning “I have HAD IT with the motherfucking tigers on this motherfucking plane!”

2

Yea, in retrospect, its pretty obvious that a living animal is gonna stand out on an x-ray machine.

I think I would’ve just stuffed it in one of those animal carriers (do they allow those on international flights) and hoped no one looked to closely.

3

I’d put a harness on it and say it’s a service animal.

StG

4

Two months old? Is that old enough to leave its mother?

5

I once put a live goldfish through the X-ray machine.

This guy has me beat, though.

6

And the incident happened last weekend at our Suvarnabhumi Airport, only it was not announced until Friday. Poor little guy. Looks cute on the news video on BBC. (The cub, not the smuggler, a Thai lady who is trying to deny it was her bag.)

7

I had it with these motherfucking tig-

Meh, not worth it.

8

Yes, barely. It’s old enough to survive on regular tiger food, without needing mother’s milk. But it will miss out on a lot of socialization with other tigers, and teaching on how to catch food, etc.

So it will be a very messed-up tiger. But as it was probably being smuggled to sell to some rich jerk who wants a private zoo, they don’t care much about that.

9

“In the butt, Bob”, is definitely a wrong answer to that question.

10

Dress it up in a red Nike golf shirt.

11

Worse than messed up. The officials are saying it almost certainly would not have survived the flight.

12
  1. Stuff tiger cub into underpants.
  2. ???
  3. Profit!
13

Very carefully.

14

That brings images to my mind that I really didn’t need.

15

Oooooh, did it glow in the dark afterwards?

16

I would have thought it would have been a whole lot easier to put into a pet carrier and call it your dog. Put some sort of fabric around the mesh so that no one can see in and carry it on. IIRC, you aren’t allowed to take the animal out of the carrier on flights anymore, so just stow it under the seat and smuggle away.

What I don’t know is if security or the airline checks the carry-on pet carrier for what is in there. My assumption would be if it went through the x-ray scanner, the tech would not be able to tell the difference between a tiger cub and a small dog.

The last couple of times I flew, I saw a couple of little dogs being held by their owners prior to boarding the flight.

From the TSA Site:

17

When I flew with my cat they made me take him out of the carrier, drugged up and scared out of his mind, and hold him in a busy terminal while they ran his carrier through the x-ray machine. I think the tiger cub would be pretty noticable to the TSA.

18

My brother’s then-GF once successfully smuggled a live pet bat into the UK - and then, a couple of years later, smuggled its corpse back to Canada for burial.

Edit: admittedly much easier to do than with a tiger.

19

Between this and the tiger escape at a Miami zoo, the tigers have been getting a lot of news!

20

Give him a box of cereal, the accompany him wearing a suit, telling everyone he’s Tony the Tiger on an Appearance Schedule.

The growling and biting? He’s a celebrity. It is to be expected.