Sorry if this seems like a weird question, but let me tell you… i was in NYC earlier and i noticed this guy. He was just talking to everybody. Im thinking he was a promoter or something like that.
I just see it as amazing how he could talk to anybody. He was standing in front of a huge Mc Donalds near Time Square. I Got closer and found out he was a promoter. The thing is though, he diden’t keep it only on what he was promoting, he would make jokes or dance or stupied stuff.
But in a place like time square where everybody come from all over the world. Most are to themselves and i just find it amazing to see a person talking to everybody.
I guess he has a foundation though… what hes promoting. So i dont have a foundation… and i want to talk to and meet anybody i want to ! Do i need a foundation to rely on. What do you think?
Well, first you decide what you want to say, then you open your mouth, you take a deep breath, you move your lips and expel the intake of air from your lungs…
…okay, sorry, that was snarky.
As a long time polite-talker-to-strangers (bad habit, I know), I usually find myself commenting about the situation at hand (i.e. a train delay at the subway station turns into “I hope we won’t be too late” to a nearby passenger) or just idly chatting–making small talk as it were: “Nice weather, huh?” or “Your kids look happy to be out here today” or so forth.
Barbara Walters wrote a book called (something close to) *How To Talk To Nearly Anyone About Nearly Anything. * I found it useful. You can probably find it in your local library. It was a few years back, so it probably is out of print.
I can do this. I’ve always done this. As it happens, it actually angers my wife that I am so facile with strangers and conversation, she’s said to others in my presence, " Oh he can talk to a stone wall ". :rolleyes: ( She’s paralyzed at a party where she doesn’t know everyone. Me? I adore those things !! )
I’ve no idea why. I mean, I’m outgoing enough but I don’t desperately seek out strangers to fill every silent moment. I just…enjoy the social discourse, the shared moments that are not always harbingers of real relationships but just simple societal moments. Could be someone in the supermarket, a parking lot, wherever.
A part of it is not being afraid to speak to a stranger. I mean, here ya go. A recent one. The other day I walked towards the supermarket through the parking lot. I notice a jeep with a black vinyl cover over the front edge of the hood. A bug wrap, I call them. But as frequently is the case with these things, there is a tube-like part on the top of each side. ( Each side of the top hood, not along the sides ). There was a man behing the wheel, keeping the car warm as it ran. I figured, hell, gotta ask. So I walked up and gestured for him to roll down his window a bit, and I asked him. He told me it was to keep the edges from flapping. Huh.
No biggie, a moment out of my day to learn something- and not a problem for the guy I asked, I figger. Things like that- not putting up a show, but just enjoying normal conversation.
This topic does not appear to have a specific factual answer such as technique (“What do I need to do to talk to strangers?”) or control (“What psychological function allows strangers to address other strangers without introductionss?”), so it is going to wander over to IMHO for a broader audience. (Maybe it will speak to the members there.)
Unfortunately, I’m only partially kidding. The great social lubricant can be a boon to the introverted person, such as myself, but ultimately it’s a bad idea. It’s really just a matter of taking the plunge and working through the initial phases of introduction and conversation. Once things become more comfortable, the rest comes easy.
Well, unless you’re talking to an evil, anal-retentive boss. There’s no warming up to that.
On the other hand, there are people like my mother who actively seek out other people and will chat them up. I can’t help but shudder a bit at this, because she’ll do it to anyone, even if the situation looks weird - like when this one guy seemed to be casing our house…
I never used to be able to talk to just anyone, until I got a boyfriend who could do it. I just kind of surreptitiously took lessons from him, and I discovered this: if you approach most people in a friendly way – and smile – they’ll most often be friendly back. Which led me to conclude that most people would probably like to be friendlier, but many are just scared to make the first move. It helps if you can turn on a bit of charm – somebody’s gotta do it! Worked for me for years.
Having said that, I stay in the house 98% of the time these days, so what do I know?
