It’s implied that if that is the case that you should not participate in my poll because that’s disgusting. And you’re disgusting. Ew.
… I’m kidding, I too have endured the trials and tribulations of hemorrhoids and know your pain all too well. But that’s still gross. Don’t talk about that shit in my thread. (Still kidding. I think. Not kidding about the part about me having had hemorrhoids.)
Serpentine! Serpentine!
And people wonder about my policy of never voting in public polls.
Er…well, yeah. Serious. Only three squares. (Typical supermarket brand double-ply.) Takes about six wipes, so the total is about 18 squares.
What a strange conversation to be having! Next: “How many times do you chew your food?” or “Toenails: scissors or clippers?”
My surprise is opposite yours.
Not only do I sit, but I lean forwards a smidge to get maximum openage.
I don’t know how I could do it standing up.
Done. The poll about wiping your privates is now private.
This! If I were to stand, my butt cheeks would squeeze together, and the poo would get smeared around. I’d have to wipe a much larger area.
Standing might work in a bathroom that’s big enough for one to take a “wide stance.” My jakes is too small.
Why? Why in the fuck would you stand?
I’m not even sure I want to know the answer. Standing? To wipe your ass? STANDING?
The internet is safe again. I voted. 
Who wipes while standing up? Well, besides pulykamell and a few others. I also want to know why.
Bidet. No paper.
As a stander, I feel obliged to defend this method.
At least the way I do it, I don’t stand up all the way, but stand while leaning forward. Just unbending the knees while keeping my back in the same position more or less. That way I have freer access.
To be honest I never tried while sitting, but thinking about it today while sitting on the john, it seemed awkward and unnatural to me. I mean, would have to scoot up a lot to make room to reach in there for front to back or shift my junk to the side or something for back to front. And sort of reaching into the toilet with poop in there felt kinda iffy to for me.
But the real answer is it’s the way I’ve always done it and only realized well into adulthood that there were alternatives.
Are you fat? Serious question.
Nope, 5’8, 160 pounds. A slight gut when I sit, but nothing that would obstruct the… process.
Huh. For a while (yes, I’ve encountered this sort of discussion before) I suspected that everyone was using different terms for the same thing.
I’ve noticed a conspicuous absence of calls for photographs.
Girls are taught to wipe front to back to avoid, or at least minimise, the chances of urinary tract infection.
I used to be a girl, so I still wipe the same way: front to back.
At one time it was Aryans vs. Jews.
Now it is Westerner world vs Islamic world
One day, it will be sitters vs standers.
Mark my words, us true-hearted sitters will destroy those evil, shifty-eyed standers.
Is there a gender bias in technique? And the related question I’ve always thought about since Unca Cecil’s original article – are most “wadders” female?
I answered ‘front to back, sitting’ in the poll, because that’s the majority of my wipes. But every now and then, when it seems as if there will be no end in sight to the process, I’ll throw in a back to front just to keep things interesting.
And always crumpled, never folded. Weirdos.
Wiping back to front is a big NO for ladies so yes there would be a gender bias. Otherwise you’re essentially smearing feces residue over and into the labia.
You may get a difference in opinions if you ask how women wipe their urine away though.