Staples, by definition, leave holes and are therefore contraindicated. Use hot glue.
Hot glue’s just going to melt the latex, making an even worse hash of things than the stapler. Just use a standard hose clamp to hold the condom in place. Make sure you really torque down on the fastener to prevent any slippage. For ease of use, I prefer the ones with the attached key, because who wants to futz around with a screwdriver right in the middle of sexy times?
Why are crabs so hard to kill? If you submerge them under water, why don’t they die? Don’t they need to breathe?
Maybe, but it doesn’t matter when they already laid a bazillion eggs.
Same thing with head lice : killing off the adults is well and good and stops the crazy itching. For about a half an hour. Then it’s back to the scheduled giant orgy cum feeding frenzy on your head.
Lice are not as easy to see as you think. I speak from experience. The last one being a patient with pubic lice everywhere but the pubic area. Said patient was seen by a dermatologist and diagnosed with dry skin. I looked closely and said “hey-why is your dry skin moving?”. Then I picked off a few and looked under the microscope, showed my assistant and the patient because it was really cool and sent one off to the lab for positive ID (because again, not in the pubic area). Then I treated the patient. Anyway, those suckers are hard to remove. The little pinchers hold onto the hairs good, which you can see under the microscope. Also, when they haven’t fed they are almost transparent and very hard to see.
Example-NSFW example. (Although a dermatologist should have maybe looked a little more closely.)
When I worked in an intercity hospital, we had a number of patients come in with body lice*. The first time I saw them was when one the size of a cockroach came crawling out of the patient’s room. Being the senior staff member, I sent somone else in to bathe the patient!
- same as crabs, but bigger that live in fat folds.
Oh sweet baby jesus, why’d I look at that…
Or read that.
Tangentially related maybe? 
Went into the men’s room at work yesterday, completed my ‘transaction’ and as I was walking out after washing my hands noticed something on the outside of one of the wall-mounted urinals.
Two drops of blood. Fresh blood! Both had landed just on the lip of the urinal and run down the outside and were only just starting to dry. Nothing else around on the floor.
After a slightly rushed check to confirm that it wasn’t coming from me I was left wondering what could have been wrong with the previous guys junk that it was dripping blood like that? :eek:
[Hekawi Chief] “…It is…* Balloon*…!” [/Hekawi Chief] :eek:
Didn’t have to be his junk, it could have been his hand, his nose, anything really.
OMG – if I had those things living on me I’d skip right past shaving to burning it all off with fire.
Wait, is that what pubic lice live on? Eww.
Maybe he was on his period and ran out of tampons?
so… in order to deal with the itching you shave your bits bald, and a few days later when the new hair grows in you get… itching?
There are itches and then there are itches. I know I’d vastly prefer a few days of stubble itch to walking around the rest of my life covered in bloodsucking insects, but maybe that’s just me.
They are the survivors of millions of years of adaptation to such threats as being picked off or drowned.
Bathing regularly is actually a pretty good way to get rid of them. Most cases of crabs and body lice happen in people without access to daily hygiene who wear the same clothes many days in a row - soldiers on deployment, homeless people, those living in slums without adequate running water, obesity or disability which limits ability to safely bathe and change clothes daily…
The same cannot be said of head lice and scabies, by the way. Those fuckers are the great equalizer.
To address this somewhat seriously, I’ve had head lice. (India). I came back with it when I was ten. Nothing works on head lice except the magical shampoo. You can pick, but they come back. The doctors recommend you cut your hair short,but the girl I got it from, had hair down to her butt and wasn’t about to cut it.
If you can cut or shave, it still doesn’t make them go away, but it makes it a lot easier to clean the area,plus less places for them to live.
You can pick them off all day and you will never run out. And in the case of pubic hair, god forbid, I don’t understand why the docs first recomendation isn’t to shave it all off. Its not like head hair, which is wrapped up in our identity.
Shaving doesn’t help much with an established infestation, because they only hold the hair temporarily, before they glue themselves to the skin. Being bare down there may help to reduce transmission, but not get rid of it once you have it.
With head lice, shaving helps you to get the magical shampoo down to the scalp, especially if you have a little girl with thick, long hair.
I grew up in the 60’s. We had free love and plenty of free crabs to go around. I picked them up 3 times. Extra care when bathing, scrubbing real well with something like lava soap seemed to knock them out in short order. No big deal to get of. My dad gave me a bar of flea and tick soap for dogs and told me to use that and it seemed to work pretty quick.
The original cock ring!
Anyone else getting itchy all over just reading this thread?