“I want you to know this will go on your Permanent Record[sup]®[/sup].”
So whaddaya got: Suspensions? Memos? Wrist slaps? Not asking about criminal records–stuff can get old and fall off of those, or get sealed, or be expunged. Hardly permanent. No, I’m talking about life-destroying actions you’ve been busted for by someone important like a school vice-principal or a nun, who can then indicate somewhere on your Permanent Record[sup]®[/sup] that you are constitutionally and morally sub-par and deserving of a lifetime of shame and maltreatment. I would gladly share what is on mine, but I’m having trouble knowing just how to access my Permanent Record[sup]®[/sup]. Perhaps The Authorities know? Best guess: I think I got a mod warning a long time ago, and that time in grade school when I punched a bully girl on the nose.