Damn you…
I’m just thinking about those nihilists from the Big Lebowski now. “Tomorrow, ve come back and ve cut off your chonson!”
Now I’m reminded of Johnny Carson’s Tea Time Theater with Art Fern.
“Take your car to the Slauson Cutoff. Get out of your car, cut off your Slauson, and get back into your car.”
For a sharp pair of butcher’s scissors, it wouldn’t be difficult. Mine (brought home from work when I closed the meat packing plant) will easily cut both flesh and bone of a raw chicken breast. When they’ve recently returned from the knife guy, most of my kitchen knives could amputate a finger, toe or penis.
Once you leave the kitchen, there’s a vast array of garden shears and knives, hunting knives, survival knives and leather working knives that would get the job done.
Makes you think twice about getting dead drunk after pissing off that special someone in your life, doesn’t it? 
“The two of us forever.”
In the Realm of the Senses (French: L’Empire des sens, Japanese: 愛のコリーダ, Ai no korīda) is a 1976 French-Japanese art film directed by Nagisa Oshima. It is a fictionalised and sexually explicit treatment of an incident from 1930s Japan, that of Sada Abe. It generated great controversy during its release;[3] while intended for mainstream wide release, it contains scenes of unsimulated sexual activity between the actors (Tatsuya Fuji and Eiko Matsuda, among others).
Plot: In 1936 Tokyo, Sada Abe (Eiko Matsuda) is a former prostitute who now works as a maid in a hotel. The hotel’s owner, Kichizo Ishida (Tatsuya Fuji), molests her, and the two begin an intense affair that consists of sexual experiments and various self-indulgences. Ishida leaves his wife to pursue his affair with Sada. Sada becomes increasingly possessive and jealous of Ishida, and Ishida more eager to please her. Their mutual obsession escalates to the point where Ishida finds she is most excited by strangling him during lovemaking, and he is killed in this fashion. Sada then severs his penis, walks around with it inside her for weeks, and writes, “Sada Kichi the two of us forever,” in blood on his chest.
from a YouTube photomontage of the film (2:30-et seq. most relevant to this thread). https://
youtu.be/B-zcoRkkTH8
NSFW (even in YouTube) unless you work in artsy film.
I remember seeing it when it was released, and waiting for the chop-chop, but not much else. A decade and change later I saw The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, & Her Lover (1989) and two decades later saw Antichrist (2009) (also with REAL sex). Each a can-you-top-this. Three eye-rinse movies.
If we’re doing jokes, I’ll offer this Tom Swifty: “It could have been worse,” Lorena said bitingly.
I’ll see your Armin Miewes/Sada Abe and raise you one Austrian performance artist Rudolf Schwarzkogler
(Google image search at your own peril)
Moderator Note
Leo Bloom, you’ve been here long enough to know that you’re not supposed to link directly to NSFW material. I’ve broken the link. Don’t do this again.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
PS. I think the GQ answer to the OP was given some time ago. If you just want to muse about films that include penis-cutting or tell jokes about it, there are better forums for that.
My apologies for that.
[…
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
:
and it’s brethren gets a non-PS? And mine even had a real (fictional) cutting, as in OP.
Not taking this to ATMB.
I just realized that the bulk of this thread are references (musings) about entertainment and comments on them.
Is this a bad thing?
[QUOTE=grude]
I didn’t see how pulling the penis tight enough wouldn’t instantly jolt you awake, but pass out drunk would do it.
[/QUOTE]
If the assailant doesn’t just grab and yank, some little reptilian corner of the victim’s brain will be thinking “Ooh baby… yeah…” Don’t need to be passed-out drunk for that to work. 
I’m quite surprised that people think this would be difficult. Except for the holding him down part, it would be a piece of cake, except with blood.
The second part of my note was not directed at you alone, but was a generic “you.” You did however have a more extensive commentary on the subject than anyone else.
Demure little Thai ladies have pretty much cornered the market on this phenomenon.
I give you the Bangkok haircut.
If anyone wants to try it out, as long as there are pain meds I would be game. My dick is useless after my prostate surgery.
But in that case you wouldn’t be “unwilling”.
Also, call for a mod to merge with this thread.
Need answer fast? Never mind, 8 years too late.