A friend of mine was an Army Ranger, and a physician; he was, at one point, working the late shift in the base infirmary, when an NCO came in, complaining of a burning sensation when he urinated. My friend suspected a STD, of course, but initial tests came back negative, and the NCO indicated that he had had no recent sexual partners.
After quite a bit of questioning, the afflicted NCO admitted that he had been pleasuring himself by inserting a knitting needle into his urethra. :eek:
About 25 years ago, I woke up at around 1 a.m., with pain in my back. I went to the bathroom, and discovered that my urine was pink – having had a kidney stone two years previously, I knew exactly what was happening. I went to the ER, where, after an initial exam, they sent me off to Radiology for x-rays.
When I’d left the ER, I was the only patient, but when I returned from Radiology, there was another patient in there. He was screened off from me by curtains, but I could hear what was going on, of course.
He’d been having sex with a girl, and torn his foreskin. :eek::eek: The ER doctor (a tiny Filipino woman), as she was stitching him up (under a local anesthetic, I sure hope!) was questioning him: “So, how did this happen? Were you having dry sex?” He was close to incoherent, but, as she instructed him that he was not to have an erection for two weeks, to let the sutures heal, I realized that a kidney stone wasn’t so bad, in comparison.