The other night I brought home this strong woman. Going down on her she got a little over excited and got to bucking wildly. Ended up with a busted lip. Second sex injury this winter. A friend just told me she ended up with a black eye.
Care to share some of your sexual injuries? Hopefully we can keep from wounded pride and broken hearts.
Broke my penis. While erect, it was bent causing multiple broken blood vessels. Swelled up and looked like a purple baseball. The real problem was I couldn’t pee. Ended up in a hospital emergency room, first a catheter to relieve me then a couple of incisions to drain the pooling blood. It took almost 3 years for the purple to finally fade away.
And we’re done in one.
Last night I had two of my five girlfriends come over. One of them, Carmelita, is really strong…she’s from some Amazon tribe in Angola. I met her when I was there with the 273rd Marine Division. Unless you have an African history book, you’ll never know the conflict even existed. (She knocked out two Navy SEALs with one punch…long story.) ANYWAY…the other lady, Gertrude, I met at Harvard. We were both pre-law/pre-med double majors…long story, again. In any case, the two of them, last night, in bed, got so fired up, they bit my cock clean off.
Alura was giving me great orb, and during my tertiary sub-intromission, I distended my glomus.
Not something I like to bring up . . . .
So, y’know how strep bacteria are all over your skin and mucus membranes and generally they don’t cause any harm, but if you get a scrape or tear in the surface, they can infect?
Yeah…my SO gave me strep throat once. From a rather vigorous, uh, blow to the back of the throat. :smack:
If anybody ever tells you that two women in bed are demure and gentle and there are flower petals floating through the air and the sound of a babbling brook in the background, don’t believe them.
My last interlude with my girlfriend resulted in bruised ribs for her, and an exacerbation of carpal tunnel for me.
About 20 years ago, I was in the emergency room in the middle of the night, due to a kidney stone (which had nothing to do with sex, just to set the record straight :)).
The emergency room bay next to mine was occupied by a young man who was in a considerable amount of pain. I managed to reconstruct the story as such: he was having sex with a woman in the back seat of a car, and somehow managed to tear his foreskin. He essentially tossed the woman out of his car, and drove himself to the hospital. As the unsympathetic female emergency-room doctor stitched him back together, she had to explain to him that he was going to need to refrain from having an erection for at least two weeks, to give the stitches time to heal.
Nothing like y’all have had. I once banged my teeth against hers too hard and we took a short break to comiserate. And then there’s charley horses that bring things to a brief halt.
To understand my injury you have to understand that NYC apartments generally don’t have central heat but instead have radiators and heat pipes in almost every room. These are just metal pipes that radiate heat to warm the space in the winter that you don’t really have much control over, they are either on or they are off and that is that.
One day my husband and I were going at it on the bathroom floor and in the process of changing positions I reached out to grab onto something to steady myself and, you guessed it, wrapped my hand around the heat pipe. It was December and the pipe was incredibly hot so we ended up stopping so that I could run my hand under cold water for a bit and now we save our bathroom shenannigans for the warmer months.
Settle down Usher.
Not as violent as some of these stories, but one weekend my girlfriend was visiting I was just getting over a cold. I went down on her and evidently the combination of my cold and two day beard growth combined to send her to the hospital a couple days later. It got to the point that she couldn’t sit without extreme pain so the ER nurse inspected her hoo-haa and determined that I had infected her in hundreds of tiny perforations caused by my whiskers. I was a little :dubious: but of course, IANAD.
Is that even possible? I have always been under the impression that men get erections in their sleep pretty consistently.
Maybe they put on one of those cone things the vet has??
Damn that’s a long river.
Don’t be havin’ sex on the courtyard bench behing the American Airlines Stewardess Traning Facility in Dallas. Fire Ants.
I suspect she was f’ing with him.
Accidentally broke my anal cherry.
Or squirt him with a spray bottle when he gets hard. That will stop it.
Or make it worse.
I suspect (but don’t know) that a doctor could prescribe something to make erections less likely. Opiods are anaphrodisiac, so a bit of morphine or hydrocodone might be enough to do it, and take care of the pain in the meantime (although two weeks is a long time for a relatively healthy person to be on morphine). Or cyproterone or medroxyprogesterone - they’re what are given to some sex offenders as “chemical castration”.
Okay, I’ve gotta log out. I’m grinning after reading “one of those cone things”; but “squirt him with a spray bottle” has me chortling so loudly that my boss is looking over here. 