Melbourne. The Jan Brady of cities.
I’m amazed that I haven’t seen more Southern US bashing in this thread (aside from the SC posts).
My only problem with the typical “South” bashing is that “inbreeding” inevitably turns up somewhere. At least the folks in Boston can somewhat understand the accent thing, etc. Hell, we surely understand that little jab. But the inbreeding thing just makes most of us scratch our heads. It doesn’t happen “down here”.
Seconded. Not just the weather and dem der Bills der, dontcha’ know der, but also the tax burden (highest in the nation), the trapped-in-the-1980s culture and feel, the blue-collar mindset, the parochialism, the fundamentalist Catholicism (news of Vatican II has yet to reach Western New York), the ear-splitting accent (the harsh flat-A that would make Queens natives reel), the political corruption (yet locals keep voing those same douchebags back into office, because “He’s a good [Polish/Italian/Irish] boy!”), the goofy local culture (lawn fetes, fireman’s picnics, Dyngus Day, bingo snobbery, meat raffles, and so on), the perception Canadians have that the city is continually ablaze (thanks, Irv Weinstein), the legendary love of twofer coupons among local diners …
Born and raised in Los Angeles, the land of fruits and nuts. Ya know, La La Land? Hollyweird? Never bothered me, though, cause I knew everyone was just jealous 
Now I live in Floriduh. God’s waiting room. The land of hanging chads. The pedophilic child murdering capital of the country.
(don’t you go dissin’ my Devil Rays, you hear?)
If you can’t think of anything to make fun of Baltimore for, just wait for their next public image slogan.
“The City That Reads” (bleeds, breeds, can’t read, etc.)
“The Greatest City in America” (almost self-mocking)
“Believe” (Bee-hive, Behave, B’lieve hon, Grieve)
Well, there is the bad dental hygene and inedible food angle.
(just kidding; I looooooved London when I visited) 
.
Waco?
No. Problem. Whatsoever.
Are these actual suggestions/former slogans?
Because, seriously, I have nothing against Baltimore, but somewhere within an easy drive of New York, Philly, and DC - hell, even Annapolis - is calling itself “The greatest city in America”?
The city I was born in? Birmingham, Alabama? I’m afraid it can’t be done. There’s just nothing to make fun of.
I live in Honolulu, go ahead and mock our weather. I mean, it’s the same thing everyday. Mid-80s with trade winds. No such luxuries as snow, icy roads, or wind chills in the winter, nor 100-degree temperatures and 100% humidity days in the summer.
You try getting the sand out of your car after a January beach day. Woe is me.
I think of it as the Big Wicket. St. Louis: the only town (and it is just a big town) that built a monument to immortalize the people who left. :dubious: Lived here 17 years.
And I lived in a suburb of Schenectady (Niskayuna) for 10 years, do I win a prize??? Have you ever read the book: It Came From Schenectady ? I got to move to St. Louis when I learned to spell Rensselaer. 
(Rensselpolyinstitectute)
Please.
I was born and raised in Earlimart, Ca, population 3000.
On 99 between Bakersfield and Fresno.
The minimart is called the EarliMart.
No bank.
No restaurants with tablecloths.
More dogs than people.
Enough said.
Where I grew up (northeast Iowa):
There are no stoplights in the entire county (which is about the size of Rhode Island).
The nearest Wal-mart and multi-screen movie theatres are in a different state.
The nearest shopping mall is a 100-mile roundtrip.
As teenagers we would have parties a random hayfield, a rock quarry, or if that wasn’t an option we’d just drive around the gravel roads and drink beer (the #1 rule: 8 drinks is the limit for the driver while s/he’s driving).
I’m sorry, could you repeat yourself? I couldn’t hear you over all the cowbells…
My favorite was:
Baltimore, the city that reads (very slowly)
Me: “I’m originally from Barstow, CA”
Every Person I’ve Said This To: “Really? I didn’t realize people actually lived there!”
I’m from Chillicothe, Ohio, whose industrial lifeblood is the paper mill. So, every visitor, without fail:
“This town smells!”
The South Australian government saved everyone the bother and gave us a tourism slogan that was the butt of many jokes while it lasted…
“South Australia - We’re Going All The Way”
'nuff said, really.
Well, there is the harbor of sewage that will eat your flesh.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=ja&q=honolulu+infection&btnG=Google+検索&lr=
(note, the news stories are disturbing)
Take 1:
Me: I’m from Fort Worth!
Them: Ooh, where’s that?
Me: An hour outside Dallas.
Take 2:
Me: I’m from Fort Worth, an hour outside Dallas.
Them: Ooh, Dallas!
Cue conversation about how ZOMG FLAT Dallas is when they visited.
Me: You don’t say.
