A good therapist will start by working with you to determine what you want out of therapy. Said therapist will then set goals and a specific timeline on when these goals will be accomplished and you will “graduate” therapy. How long this will take is going to depend on the kind of problem(s) you have, how hard you are willing to work and how complex your problems are. I would expect a max of two years unless you have many inter-related problems that are making it significantly hard for you to function on a day-to-day basis.
A good therapist will not just listen. You should get homework from your therapist. You should get reading material, and a good therapist will be able to direct you to the useful books and bypass the self-help dreck. A good therapist will most likely have you start a journal.
A good therapist should push you out of your comfort zone on a fairly regular basis, but you should not be able to push the therapist out of their comfort zone (my ex was asked to visualize his inner child. He visualized strangling it. That freaked that particular therapist out - obviously she was way too lightweight for him).
It may have changed since the last time I checked into it, but IMNSHO a degree in psychiatry isn’t a guarantee of getting a good therapist. Last time I checked, to become a psychiatrist, you got your basic M.D, then learned psychiatry from another psychiatrist. This makes for a rather tunnel-vision perspective on a very, very complex field of information. My best therapist was a Doctor of Education… and an active researcher.
I have had therapy, taken anti-depressants, and “self-treated” with the help of some good books. IMO, the anti-depressants and the self-treatment wouldn’t have been anywhere near as effective if I hadn’t also had the professional therapy.
However, I will say that if you don’t want to start with therapy, I can heartily recommend the following:
Keep a daily journal.
Take an acting class (I had a therapist call this cheap therapy!)
The book: “Feeling Good: the New Mood Therapy” by David Burns for depression - based on and proved by research.
Another book: “Recovering Love” by J. Richard Cookerly, for improving your relationships.