Ok… Well… since September, I have been going to a psychologist every week. It started off because I was referred because someone though I had attempted suicide… It was a few paper-cut-like scratches and next thing I know, I’m gushing it all on a long distance call to my mother…
Anyhoo, I have a lot of issues apparently. I thought going to this type of therapy would help relieve you of hositlity or bad vibes -whatever… but I find myself to be even more hostile then before! What’s up with that? Not to mention that my psychologist is indeed a male who accused me of being sexist simply because of my mother’s history of bad relationships. Am I screwed up? ( And yes, I have decided to stop going to this psychologist)
It sounds like your ex-therapist is a worthless jerk. Not the fault of the concept of therapy, but sounds like his technique leaves a lot to be desired.
Well you may be more hostile because you are realizing your issues.
It’s not like the doc is going to say “And that is why you feel that way” and you hear a heavenly chours and a light shines down upon you and you are cured. Once you figure out why you respond to things the way you do then you still have the hard work of changing yourself.
The first psychologist I went to see insisted that all my problems were due to “cultural differences”. The depression turned out to be a side effect of Depo-Provera but she didn’t care. My second psychologist was wonderful. I can’t sing her praises enough. I strongly suggest shopping around until you find someone who is compatible with your personality. But you absolutely did the right thing in not seeing the first psychologist anymore.
I’ll second what Zebra has said about the hostility-for a while you may become more hostile through therapy because you finally accepting it instead of repressing it. It should go away with time as you deal with the underlying causes of the hostility. Hang in there.
As a general rule, the uglier the better. I went through one that involved a lot of wailing, screaming, crying, snot-flinging- the works. Best thing that ever happened to me. Therapeutic, you might say.
Don’t expect to feel incrementally better after each session – you’ll be dissappointed. For sure, be certain that you have a therapist that you’re comfortable with and whose abilities you trust, but don’t have any illusions-- it takes time.
And take your pick o’ the platitudes – “It’s always darkest before the dawn” is inexplicably popular.
Hold on a minute–did you say your psychiatrist actually accused you of being sexist? That doesn’t sound helpful at all. If that really happened, I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to get away from him.
