Shopping for therapists sucks.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m depressed. Very. Unreasonably. Have been for a while, my meds aren’t doing as much as they used to, and my personal style of self “stop it” therapy, in which I tell myself to stop thinking negatively, has been useless for a while.

So I want a therapist. I’ve got some self-help books, they make sense and I want to implement some of their suggestions and exercises in my life, but I feel like I’m missing some critical step - I need someone to walk me through the process, help me define exactly where my issues are and what they’re affecting. But it’s so hard to find someone. God, it’s worse than dating. All these therapy styles, from painfully rational to “and how does that make you feel?” to re-enacting my birth and drawing in a sand garden to release my stress. Then there’s the insurance issue: half of them take no insurance at all, and only half of who’s left over takes mine, so that sucks. and then choosing between therapists, counselors, social workers, psychologists, nurses, there are like a million different types of people qualified to “therapize” me and who knows what I’m even supposed to be looking for?

I tried asking my employer’s “Employee Assistance Program” for help, and maybe a list of people to try in the area. The woman was wonderful with me, we had a great chat about what I needed, but then the only names she could give me were people over an hour’s drive away from home, and a half hour away from work (in the opposite direction). See, the previous EAP guy quit a month ago, and she took over without much info about resources in the area, since she works for the “big company” and only comes to our site one day a week. Of the dozen names on the list she gave me, two were close enough to be reasonable, but one doesn’t take my insurance. The second one, I managed to call and make an appointment after agonizing about calling her for over a week before I got up the strength and courage to actually do it. I made an appointment, I actually went. And I hated her. She asked me weird questions I felt silly answering, and she interrupted me constantly.

Back to square one. And while I have good insurance, it only covers the first 7 or 8 visits at 60%, then I have to pay most of it out of my own pocket, so every failed attempt with a therapist feels like a huge waste to me, and I’m inclined to not bother. But I know that’s wrong.

Is there an easier way? Or am I doomed to jump from one therapist to the next, wasting my money and feeling like I"m going through a series of really bad blind dates in which I tell the guy all my deepest secrets and then decide I probably shouldn’t have?

2

I got nuttin’ but sympathy, Antigen. I started a thread similar to this a while back, for the same reasons you’ve stated. Maybe this one will garner some responses that will be helpful to both of us.

3

Start with the therapists that your insurance covers. That will help you get started while you look for a therapist that fits your style and issues. And do recognize that you may go through quite a few therapists before you find one that works well for you.

4

That therapist was the wrong one for you, very obviously.

Some therapists will offer free first visits. I had great luck with asking my primary care physician if he knew of any therapists I could see when I felt that my meds weren’t doing what I needed them to. As it turns out, he did know, and I now see a guy who is pretty much a perfect fit for my needs.

I’ve had good results from seeing a counselor for most sessions and a psychiatrist for medication, too. Counselors/social workers generally charge a lot less for a session.

I hope you can both get the help you need.

5

I can sympathize with you, and i’m sending good vibes your way. If i was already in school, I’d offer an ear at no charge - but since I just started the enrollment process at the local college I’m afraid my un-certified certified insane self probably wouldnt be much help to ya… except just another ear.

oh - some therapists might offer phone sessions. I had a couple with my mine before I lost my insurance (I soooo lucked out I had a PPO that offered $20 co-pay and weekly unlimited visits - I miss that coverage!). Gads I miss her! which reminds me… I think I’ll send her a thank you hand painted vase.

Anyways, sendng good vibes… sending good vibes… sending - hey… not THOSE kind of vibes! =)

6

The best therapist I ever saw — man, was he good – told me that the #1 determining factor in therapeutic success isn’t education or approach, but, rather, how much experience the therapist has. So find yourself someone in his/her 50’s at least.

I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ll do so again; Sheldon Kopp’s book If You Meet the Buddha in the Road, Kill Him gives a wonderful overview of the therapeutic process, of the author’s work as a therapist, and, as a special bonus, also includes the meaning of life. :wink: You might really enjoy it, while you’re on your journey. My wonderful therapist recommended it to me.

7

I don’t have anything mindblowing to say, just that I’d recommend cognitive-behavioral therapy from a kind and overall humanistic stylesqe therapist. I don’t have any data, nor cites. That’s just what has worked for my depression, in combination with Celexa.