How embarrassing is living with your parents?

[Malthus]

@Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge

Well eventually having a “good time” means going back to their place or your place. Hence, how and with who ones lives becomes a pretty issue.

Your “meeting people for the first time” dates were more exciting than mine.

[purplehorseshoe]

Now I don’t know. Do I have pretty issues too? If I did, how would I be able to tell?

[carnut]

@Poysyn

I have been to Nunavut, and not only are they NOT racist, they are the exact opposite - extremely warm and welcoming.

It sounds like your parents want to keep you tied to them, and you want to let them.

Just as a reminder to everyone, the OP has an Asian background and the family dynamic is very strong family ties. My Cambodian neighbor has three generations in his home that includes two sons, their spouses and children and a daughter who is the same age as her siblings children. They are wonderful neighbors.

To the OP: if you plan to stay with that very strong extended family dynamic, I suggest you only date girls that also have that strong family background. They will be more understanding and more prepared for what that means in the long run.

[artemis]

@carnut

Just as a reminder to everyone, the OP has an Asian background and the family dynamic is very strong family ties.

Yes, but there can be significant drawbacks to those strong family ties (especially in a modern economy, where moving to seek optimal employment may be essential) which deserve to be considered as well as the benefits. If the OP has to pass up a great employment offer and settle for a mediocre job, possibly in a field he doesn’t like, in order to live with parents who don’t actually need him as a caregiver yet, exactly what benefits is HE getting out of this relationship?

[carnut]

@artemis

Yes, but there can be significant drawbacks to those strong family ties (especially in a modern economy, where moving to seek optimal employment may be essential) which deserve to be considered as well as the benefits. If the OP has to pass up a great employment offer and settle for a mediocre job, possibly in a field he doesn’t like, in order to live with parents who don’t actually need him as a caregiver yet, exactly what benefits is HE getting out of this relationship?

No doubt. However, that is something the OP needs to figure out for himself. Does he dislike the family expectations or does he want to follow them because he believes in tradition or he does not think his parents expectations are unreasonable. Different culture, different expectations.

The downside of living with an Asian family lifestyle in a typical North American community does indeed create some issues for him. The big one I see, is a company choosing not to hire him because he won’t relocate out of the Toronto area if the company wants him to. But it’s still up to him.

I’m glad the discussion has brought up so many of the issues he needs to weigh. Just because he might not have considered them all beforehand.

[Ferret_Herder]

Dude, you’ve already made your decision. Stop trying to justify your desire to stay close to home and just do it already. Maybe someday you’ll regret it, but I doubt there’s anything else we can offer in the discussion.

[artemis]

@Ferret_Herder

Maybe someday you’ll regret it, but I doubt there’s anything else we can offer in the discussion.

I’ll add one last bit of advice: whatever decision you make, VeroTerm, remember it’s not irreversible. If you decide to move back in with your parents and later come to regret it, you can always move out. If you decide to take a job in another city and regret it, you can always start looking for a position in Toronto and move back. It’s not a life-or-death decision. Very few decisions are.