How good an exercise is masturbation?

[934spe]

@Count Blucher

I just want to know what sick bastard feeds his girl this stuff by the spoon.

[Groundskeeper Willie] Container’s not ‘posh’ enough for you, eh…? [/Groundskeeper Willie]

You prefer to give it to her straight from the tap?..

[Annie-Xmas]

@Count Blucher

I just want to know what sick bastard feeds his girl this stuff by the spoon.

[Groundskeeper Willie] Container’s not ‘posh’ enough for you, eh…? [/Groundskeeper Willie]

You’ve never heard of the Loving Spoonful?

[934spe]

All this time I have been “Spooning” wrong… Now I know… Thanks SDMB…

[MissMossie]

I just scanned through a rather interesting variety of google results to find out about burning calories through masturbation. On the Healthy Strokes FAQ page, they say the following about male masturbation:

Masturbation has little effect on your weight and caloric consumption. Of course, any activity burns calories, but masturbation burns only a few compared to the number you would be burning through weightlifting, running, swimming, etc., as part of your program. It is estimated we burn 6 to 7 calories per minute during sexual activity. This compares to 8 to 10 per minute while jogging. People typically exercise longer than they masturbate, so a half hour jog would burn 240-300 calories while seven minutes spent in sexual activity would burn fewer than 50. (Thanks to Phyllis Cooper RN and McKesson for supplying those figures.)

Similiarly, Clitical - Helping You Hit The Right Spot! (not safe for your average workplace) says the following:

You don’t have to have a partner to enjoy the calorie-burning effects of sex. Masturbation can burn up the calories, as well. You can lose between 100-150 calories for each act of masturbation, according to the Young People’s Reproductive and Sexual Health & Rights Organization. You can raise that amount to around 300 calories, though, through a 5 minute vigorous masturbation session, according to Japanese scientist Dr. Shukan Tokuho.

Other websites say about the same thing. Moral of the story is that masturbation does seem to burn calories, but it might not be the best exercise plan unless you’re really industrious.

[11811]

@Bippy the Beardless

OK time for a Friday question.
How effective in an exercise regime would be masturbation?
Would it be more effective for women or men? D
oes it use up more energy than walking or running?
How many reps are necessary to get the full benifit?

I’ve worn a heart rate monitor while polishing the bishop. Never got near my lactic threshold.

[brianjedi]

@Count Blucher

I just want to know what sick bastard feeds his girl this stuff by the spoon.

[Groundskeeper Willie] Container’s not ‘posh’ enough for you, eh…? [/Groundskeeper Willie]

Maybe they’re pan-frying it?

[Omegaman]

In my case , not much . I just lay there

[Mouse_Maven]

@FormerMarineGuy

Well, I have seen women masturbate. They use much more energy than men.

I must be doing something wrong. Guys have all the hand motion and all I have to do is turn the vibrator on.

[Chez_Guevara]

@Healthy Strokes FAQ

People typically exercise longer than they masturbate, so a half hour jog would burn 240-300 calories while seven minutes spent in sexual activity would burn fewer than 50. (Thanks to Phyllis Cooper RN and McKesson for supplying those figures.)

I take issue with the assertion that people typically exercise longer than they masturbate.

Cooper and McKesson should provide their source material or shut up. However the survey was conducted (assuming there was a survey) we need to be told what factors were taken into account when publishing the results.

If the man (or woman) in the street is asked how much exercise he or she takes, the answer is likely to be exaggerated. This is a natural enough lie. Men especially (and women) like to give the impression they are physically fitter than is actually the case.

If the man (or woman ) in the street is asked whether he or she is a wanker, and if so what is the wanking regime currently in force vis-a-vis time spent wanking per day, the reply may well be ambiguous at best. It may depend on the surveyed area. They could be calling you at work. It could be a busy street with passers-by well within earshot. Worst of all, people don’t want to give out private sex-based information to all and sundry in the middle of the queue for the checkout at Marks & Spencer.

So, due to the total unreliability of Cooper & McKesson’s figures, I am forced to come to my own conclusions. This is easily done. In the past 5 years I have seen maybe 16 people running around in my immediate neighbourhood, so the rest of them must be complete tossers.

[FormerMarineGuy]

@Mouse_Maven

I must be doing something wrong. Guys have all the hand motion and all I have to do is turn the vibrator on.

I meant when no battery operated tools are involved…

picturing Mouse_Maven and about to burn 15 calories…

[Lakai]

@Chez Guevara

I take issue with the assertion that people typically exercise longer than they masturbate.

Would it really be a far leap in logic to assume that most men can’t jerk off, in continuous motion, for 30 minutes straight?

[Hypno-Toad]

@Lakai

Would it really be a far leap in logic to assume that most men can’t jerk off, in continuous motion, for 30 minutes straight?

It would be news to me. But I only have one datum.

[Voyager]

Which reminds me of a once popular poster, a version of which can be found here.

[Lazlo]

@934spe

It’s supposed to be good for hair and skin too… :eek:

My mom makes the same claims.

[Bippy_the_Beardless]

@Lazlo

My mom makes the same claims.

:eek: :eek:

OK I’ve allready lost 10 pounds, how are the rest of you guys and gals doing

[OneCentStamp]

@934spe

It’s supposed to be good for hair and skin too… :eek:

Really? Anytime I try that, it just kind of gets all dried up and crusty.