How hard should I be allowed to hit this guy?

So, I went out today after work and drank for a while. I ran into a couple of friends and friends of friends. One of these guys was a dude named Brett. When me, Jordan, and Brett decided to leave a bar we were at, all was good. After I spoke with the tattoo artist, all was good. At this point, I punched Brett in the stomach jokingly, like 1/10 strength, nothing anyone should care about. He responded by punching me in the face as hard as he could. He then said 'never punch me in the stomach." I responded by looking at him in sheer amazement. I’ve never had anything remotely similar happen to me before. My friend Jordan says Bret has shit like this happen all of the time - and his roommate Kevin has literally knocked him unconscious by slapping him in the face. But here’s the thing, I just looked at him after he hit me - it drew a little blood from my gums, but it was weak as shit - it did no real damage at all. And we left because it was weird as hell - with these tattoo artists around and shit - but I basically unharmed. I felt a little like Israel. So, in your opinion, how hard do I have the right to hit the next time I see hm? Because I want to knock him into the middle of fucking next week.

At the time you could have taken your best shot but now that you’ve walked off you don’t get a second bite at the apple.

That being said you really shouldn’t hit people you don’t know for fun. I would have reacted the same way, you hit me I hit you harder. None of my friends would hit me even for a joke because they know the result will be them waking up on the floor sometime later. I don’t hit you and I expect the favor returned.

I should add that I mean in a complete your opinion point of view - I have a law degree and can figure the other stuff on my own.

In the situation in the OP, I don’t see how hitting anyone will result in a better outcome in the future in any way versus not hitting someone. IMHO, choosing “do not hit” is generally the correct option in any situation that doesn’t involve self-defense or the defense of others against a serious in-the-moment attack.

EDIT: I’ll add that sometimes I might want to hit someone, but I resist that desire because (except in self-defense) I seriously doubt hitting someone results in a better outcome than not hitting them.

In my opinion, you don’t have the right to hit him at all. And indeed should not.

Deleting my post. I don’t have the time for another thread. Sorry.

I kind of agree. But it feels weird that people should be allowed to hit other people without those people being allowed to hit them back.

Just wanted to clarify here because it’s definitively relevant. I know the guy - we’ve been together many times (like 40 or 50). And when I say 1/10 I really mean it - your mom would barely notice it as more than a hand towel being thrown toward her. I t might have hurt a fly, but not much more. No way it would have left a bruise.

So Brett hit Darth Panda in the face as hard as Brett could (how does he know that?), but it was as weak as shit. This happens immediately after Darth Panda hit Brett at 1/10th strength, allegedly. Also Darth thinks that people should be allowed to hit others after being hit.

So they’re even in my view. I have little sympathy for the OP. I do question the level of judgment exercised in it.

Don’t hit people. If you do, expect to be hit back. Hard. Oh yeah, hold yourself to a higher standard than you apply to others. We naturally favor ourselves after all and it’s best to lean against that.

I don’t care how softly you hit him in the gut - you hit him first and he hit you back - how hard is irrelevant, and you’re even now. It’s a violation of personal space. If you wouldn’t have hugged him, you don’t get to hit him. Now, a joshing sort of tap on the shoulder, that may have gone over better. Shoulders/upper arms are pretty much the only area on men or women that is considered neutral, but even with that, a lot of people simply hate to be touched. Don’t touch people without permission.

My first thought was what if this guy has a medical issue of some kind? If I had a digestive issue, or some other sensitivity (heck there are people out there with ileostomy bags), and someone tapped me on the belly, I’d be right pissed and would hit back for sure. You don’t know what kind of gut issues or past surgeries this guy has had. You had no right to touch him.

You’re fooling yourself, you’re making yourself into a superhero. Somehow you just know this other guy hit you as hard as he could, yet he does you virtually no damage at all?

Let me suggest what seems way more likely to me. He replied to your joke punch with one of his own, except he inadvertently overdid it a little bit and drew a little blood. You get a major surprise and choose to take it as a genuine physical attack.

At least, that’s what I would argue as the lawyer for the guy who punched you. :smiley:

Dude, you throw the first punch, even as a 1/10th strength joke, and it can trigger an automatic reaction. Fight or flight reflex. Maybe it seems out of line, an maybe you don’t have the same trigger. But, in my dotage, I have come to learn that not everyone is wired the same. I wasn’t there, didn’t see it happen, but you might have been out of line and not the other guy. Jus’ sayin’

I can appreciate your point of view, but I still think most readers aren’t comprehending the difference here, and how some groups of guys interact. I don’t mean to overstate it, but it’s like someone throws a paper airplane at you, and you respond by throwing a rock.

When I say I hit him at 1/10 strength, I don’t actually know what percent strength it is - I’m definitely no physicist. But it’s a strength that most people would turn at you and chuckle - the kind of thing that would be completely acceptable in almost all situations. Certainly acceptable as a punch to the shoulder at a Fortune 500 company (but not in the gut, I admit that - but to friends, easily).

As far as how hard Brett could throw a punch, I obviously don’t know that either, but I know the difference between someone joking around and someone trying to hurt you, and it was definitely the second type.

You hit him, he hit you back. Is it weird for this to not lead to an extended (or endless?) cycle of retaliation? How many punches traded back and forth would moot the weirdness? Ten? Fifty?

I think you should take him to dinner, shoot him, then make a hasty exit. Why? Because a panda eats shoots and leaves. :smiley:

And as a follow up, I din’t hit the guy again and don’t plan to. But fuck if I don’t want to.

That’s the main problem. If I hit him the way he hit me, he’s not getting up. I’m way bigger than him. Which is why I didn’t (and probably won’t) hit him back in a serious way.

OK, I like the way you think :slight_smile:

[QUOTE=Measure for Measure;18565228 hold yourself to a higher standard than you apply to others. We naturally favor ourselves after all and it’s best to lean against that.[/QUOTE]

Just wanted to mention that I didn’t see/acknowledge this bit the first read thru, I like it.

Let me get this straight. You’ve graduated from law school. That means you’re* at least* in your mid-20s, right?

You were the person who hit the other person, and then that person hit you back, right?