I’m not normally awake at 2:30am, but I am now. For the second weekend in a row, I’m being subjected to the loud music and dancing taking place inside my neighbor’s condo. You can skip the story inside the asterisks if you aren’t interested.
Last weekend, I knocked on the door at 2am and got a very small concession on the music volume, but not enough to actually go back to sleep until 4am. This time, again at 2am, I simply walked into the party without knocking and again, politely, pointed out to the people in the general vicinity that the music needed to come down and that her living room is adjacent to my bedroom. I’m not really sure anybody heard the last part, but the volume went down. A little. Again, not enough. But frankly, I am too tired to get dressed again and go back over there.
Earlier this afternoon, I got a text from my neighbor saying she was “having some people over again” this evening and that I was welcome to drop by. :rolleyes: Lady, I’m not a night person, I have no interest in partying with you (especially since your parties seem to be about ballroom dancing, which, while cool, is not something I have any interest in personally), and your rather suspicious invitation does not give you license to keep me up again all night.
I am really trying to be cool about this and not involve the police at all, but I’m also not going to endure this for a third weekend. The difficulty is that my neighbor has, for all intents and purposes, moved out of her condo. She’s living elsewhere now and just trying to finalize the sale of her home, but she seems to have realized that her empty home is the “perfect” (from her perspective, anyway) party pad in the meanwhile. So I don’t even know if threats of involving the police would faze her. Which is absurd because she’s not a fucking teenager – I think she is in her late 30s or early 40s. Even if I’m the only neighbor impacted by this (which is possible because of the layout of the building), the lack of consideration blows my mind. Maybe I expect too much decency out of people.
Anyway, that’s my really unhappy story. I’d like to hear stories from the rest of you about noisy neighbors you have or had, and how you’ve dealt with the situation.
I live downstairs from an opera singer. I used to get annoyed by it till I found out he was a professional (can’t fault a guy for keeping sharp), so now I’m more ok with it. It’s actually a little soothing.
When it happens to me, I wait until midnight and then knock on the door and ask - politely - for the music to be turned down. That’s usually all that’s needed, because people often really don’t realise just how much noise they’re making. If it doesn’t stop, I go a second time about 10-15 minutes later and ask again. If the noise continues after that, I have absolutely no hesitation in ringing the police.
I live in a building in which you can hear someone fart two levels away, yet ALL of my neighbours belong to the type you just described.
Except that yours seem to correct their attitude when told how noisy they are. Mines dont.
I have to tell my neighbor from the flat facing mine that starting heavy works on his wall (that is the wall along which my fucking bed is) at ten PM well into the night was something most normal people wouldnt consider. Then the next week, I have to tell him that starting to listen up to opera at midnight with volume cranked up to the max isnt a good idea neither. And on, and on, and on…
Most people that make noise actually dont give a shit how much noise they make, very few people will actually correct their attitude when told (and I’m not talking requesting absolute silence from all your neighbours all the time, I’m talking basic civility among human beings, especially at night).
The vast majority of repeating noise-makers have a “loud teenagers in a movie theatre” attitude. They dont give a rat’s ass about “your problem”.
/end of rant. But I needed that, otherwise, I swear that one day, I will kill one of my neighbours.
For the OP: dont call the police if you dont want to find yourself in one of those inextricable neigbour wars. But, as you described the situation, you’re not likely to. So, if your neighbour breaks any local laws about loud noise, just warn her that you will have no other choice but to call the police. Dont make it sound empty, nor vengeful. It has to sound rational.
She has to understand the next time she does it, you wont bother to knock on her door and be civil about it anymore.
I was lucky enough to know where the electrical panel was in my apartment building and the switches were clearly marked, so if they continued on after the cops visited I could take matters into my own hands w/ a quick off/on. But those people cared about getting thrown out and yours does not.
I’d respond to her text w/ one that says, ‘Shall I bring some furniture so the music’s not so loud as to continue disturbing the other neighbors?’. But I suspect she’s either a jerk who doesn’t care or oblivious. Does she seem oblivious?
In my old flat I lived below a guy who wrote music for commercials and TV shows; that was his full time job. I, too, had a full-time job, and I was also studying. One Sunday when he had a full band above my bedroom playing the same thing over again, I went up and spoke to him. I explained that it was a flatshare and all I had was my room, this was the only place I could study and I had a 4000 word essay to write. I told him the hours I was out at work and that I expected him to do his work within the same hours. I was trying to be nice but it was clear the noise was stressing me out and that if he didn’t sort out the hours he did it I would go fucking nuts at him, so it improved for a while any way. I was firmly of the opinion that if he wants to do that as a job, he rents out a proper studio elsewhere, not do it in a residential apartment. I guess I thought this because my flatmate was also a musician and he rented a studio, and it wasn’t even his full-time job.
Then I moved. Then my next door neighbour starting playing obscenely loud music - not always late at night, but still so loud, and it was stuff like Bros and the theme from the NeverEnding Story. I’m kind of a moody old fart about music, and if it drowns out my TV at normal volume, it’s too loud. I am quite sensitive to noise and for some reason it hugely stresses me out if I hear any kind of noise nuisance. I left him a note to begin with, because I could hear it in every room of my flat so there was no escaping it(although, I only have two rooms ) then when it got worse I grassed him up to the council who wrote him a letter and it’s pretty much stopped since then.
I have been known to retaliate if I’m feeling a bit desperate - like I said, it stresses me out - I get out my vinyl and I treat them to some old skool jungle at full volume, and they get the hint by the end of Police In Helicopter.
If she’s already moved out and basically waiting for her condo to be sold, then she doesn’t give a shit about you. Call the police and be done with it.
If you being polite doesn’t get the point across. The police issuing noise citations might.
I have a real bad snoring problem at times, my neighbour below use to either ring my buzzer or bang on the ceiling to wake me. I can sympathize but what does she expect me to do ? Sleep when she’s not home ? The last time she did that and woke me at 3 in the morning. I got a little annoyed and decided to practice bass scales without headphones. She want’s me awake, wish granted.
What a really strange way of reversing roles. When people have been writing throughout this thread that noisemakers are oblivious or self-centered, I didnt think confirmation from an offender would come so quickly.
So, basically you snore to levels so high that you wake up your neighbours (I will give you the benefit of doubt, maybe you snore annoyingly loudly, but it can somehow be ignored. And maybe you dont),and when someone points it out to you, you consider them to be noisemakers???
There’s a significant difference between noise one is unable to consciously control (e.g. snoring) and noise one can control (e.g. banging on the ceiling).
If you were making a noise, no matter if it’s out of your control, that disturbed the peace of those around you, wouldn’t you find a way to stop exposing them to it? Why should it be their problem as well as yours?
Yeah, it sounds like she’s decided that she doesn’t care about your opinion. I’d call the cops at midnight if she’s loud. If the noise doesn’t abate, I’d call again at 1, 2, etc. Your alternative is to go have a talk with her, and tell her bluntly, I understand you want to throw parties here but I can’t sleep when you do it. Can we please compromise? You can play music until 1 (or some reasonable time), but then shut it off so I can sleep. Otherwise, that’s what the cops are for.
My next door neighbors throw a party in their driveway (which is right next to my bedroom) on a Saturday night about once a month. They’re usually done by about midnight. But if I want to go to bed earlier, I put in earplugs. It’s how I survived law school – I lived above a bar, and it was the only way I could sleep on weekends.
My general feeling about noisy neighbors is that anything prior to midnight or so, I don’t complain about. After midnight, I’ll try asking them to turn it down once, maybe twice. (This is once/twice total, not per party.) After that, I just start calling the cops. Luckily it’s not a problem in our current quiet residential neighborhood, but in our last place we lived in the middle of a lot of duplexes rented out to college students, so it was more of an issue.
My experience, by the way, has been that there are basically two types of noisemakers. 1, the people who either didn’t realize how much noise they were making, or didn’t realize anyone cared. Once you make them aware that yes, it’s noisy, and yes, you care, they take steps to make sure they’re not obnoxious in the future. 2, the people who really don’t give a shit unless someone with a badge shows up. It sounds like the OP is dealing with type 2.
This… a thousand times this. Sounds like you’ve already taken the “c’mon honey, work with me here” approach, so I would expect that the first time the police show up, she’ll know that you are serious.
Definitely appreciate all the commentary thus far.
She had told me a week and a half ago (as I was helping her move a couch, back when I was still foolishly of the opinion that she was a really nice person) that she was expecting the pending sale of her place to close on the 15th. So I’m torn between being hopeful that it might have been delayed by a day or two, but that she’s essentially gone for good this weekend, and fearing that the pending sale fell through and that she has intentions of continuing this indefinitely.
But yeah, there aren’t going to be any more warnings. Between my 1am text last weekend, my 2am visit last weekend, and my 2am visit last night, I don’t think “oblivious” can even approach being an excuse at this point. The only thing I wish I had done differently is sought her specifically out during my two visits, but there were a lot of people at both parties, and I was far too bleary-eyed to bother on either occasion.
Long ago, my ex-wife and I lived above some late-night noisy college football players. Although we were mildly intimidated by them, we still called the police whenever they were being over-the-top. This tended to be really effective, and my guess is that it was because they were pot smokers, and really didn’t want that kind of trouble.
I admit the bass was a little over the top but I was pissed from my sleep pattern being interupted repeatedly over behaviour of which I have no control wasn’t intentionally doing. If I could stop breathing during my sleep I’d do that but I hear it’s not good for your health.
I’m not self-centered, hence my normal practice of playing instruments with headphones on. I’m seeing my GP soon, it’s something I plan to mention. I tried strips I’m told I still snore.
Ibanez, Consider it like when you jostle a snorer to interrupt the noise for a short time. Better that your neighbor bangs the ceiling or rings the buzzer than comes right in and smacks you like you deserve for playing the bass to annoy her deliberately.
Do you have a fan you can run in your bedroom? That’s saved me many a night- it’s a lot easier to get used to the white noise of a fan than your neighbor’s noise.
) then when it got worse I grassed him up to the council who wrote him a letter and it’s pretty much stopped since then.