As a kid, I was taught not to lie. I generally try not to lie.
But it seems like maybe as an adult you’re expected to lie when it’s to your advantage. I don’t mean little polite dissembling and like that. I mean things like misrepresenting your work experience when you apply for a job.
And then it seems like it’s normal to claim to your kids that you believe in God, even if pragmatically you have to live in a very different way than the church teaches. I saw a video where John Shelby Spong was saying the church wants to keep people childlike, but we need adults to manage the world. He can’t be the only person to make this observation–the difference is that he tells the truth as he sees it.
“Lying is often a necessary tool against other people’s power, unfortunately”; you can function without it, but you’ll be at a constant disadvantage and punished socially in all sorts of ways.
Well as Socrates said, “An honest man is always a child.”
But then he also says, “False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.”
So I don’t know what he’s trying to get at here. Is it good to be honest? But then if it’s good to be honest, doesn’t that mean that it’s good to be a child? Being a child is good?
Well, I’m not sure how right Spong is here. But if he thinks this and is honest about it, it seems that many people think this and feel they must be more…obscurantist about it.
I can’t think when I’ve ever been expected to lie to gain an advantage. In many cases, misrepresenting one’s job qualifications can be cause for dismissal.
I think that lying is one of those things where people tend to follow the example of the other people they hang around with, or they choose to flock together with birds of a feather, or they project onto other people the way they themselves see the world—but in any case one person may believe and live as though “everyone does it,” while another may believe and act as though people are basically honest.
I know that I’d rather live in a world in which people are basically honest, and that such a society would work better. Saying people shouldn’t lie, however, is not the same as saying they should always tell all they know. I do think that sometimes, some things are better left unsaid.
Argh, I couldn’t decide, I finally went for #4, but that’s not entirely it. My beliefs run strongly and primarily to #4, with occasional swirls of #2 and #3 thrown in when absolutely necessary.
Playing fast and loose with the truth got me into some hot water in the late 90s. I decided not to lie again. So I haven’t. I’ve pissed a few people off in the process, but hey.
I learned to not lie about anything important. I do tell stories, and I am certain I have led persons to believe things about me through selective omission of details, but I try to follow Mark Twain’s advice. If you tell the truth, you don’t need to remember anything.
I was taught that adults are expected to lie when it is to someone else’s advantage.
We’re already late and you’ve nothing else to wear? That dress looks wonderful! Very elegant!
That single parent who left the comany last year? He’s a greatworker, OF COURSE I would hire him again!
That picture you painted at school today? How beautiful! Come tell me all about it!
I don’t believe that lying on a resume is ever good idea, but there is nothing wrong with stating that you were on the team which achieved X, Y, and z. Provided that you can idenify your part in the success. . .
The one time I lied on a job application, I wrote in my college degree minor as the major just because it sounds nicer. The major is actually more relevant to the job which doesn’t require even a high school diploma. One of the job interviewers had a husband who worked in the field of the minor, and they called me on it. :rolleyes: Like I said, I just wrote in the minor for fun, but they asked me if I could have an intelligent discussion with her husband about the said field. I said yes, and they scowled in disbelief even though I could because it was my minor.
I would have a very different, and far less lucrative, job if I did not feign agreement with my coworkers. It’s possible I wouldn’t have a job in this field at all. Go along and get along, y’know. Most of the time, it’s better to quietly pretend to be “one of the boys”, make your money, and leave. Unless you are the kind of person who enjoys drama.
Lying about your qualifications, however, is a good way to fuck your career permanently. More than a few of those guys were treated like pinatas by the HR department at a former employer.
I voted with the majority. However, I think it’s worth stating that it’s important not to disclose unfortunate truths, and if this is different than out and out lying, it may be more important.
Being a child is good?