The Ryan,
Yes, I can see you’ve thought deeply about moral codes and Golden Rules. In addition I think it is human nature to forgive yourself for behaviour you would condemn in others.
You defined:
Required
Reasonable request
Taking it a bit too far
If a friend lets me borrow his car, bringing it back to him is required. If my friend wants to borrow my car, that’s a reasonable request. If a total stranger asks to borrow my car, that’s taking it too far. So into which category do you think the three situations of the OP fit?
Good system!
My Personal Moral Code says:
a) ‘You make a large purchase on credit. You notice the salesperson writing down incorrect information on the sales ticket, but you don’t correct him/her. As a result, you don’t get charged. The salesperson could get in big trouble over this. Is it your responsibility to correct it?’
Reasonable request.
I have a social responsibility, it makes me feel good I’m helping someone, I might want to use the shop again…
b)'You are single. You become involved with a married person, and the two of you fall in love. You are sure this is the love of your life, soulmate, whatever you want to call it, and the married person feels the same. Should you break it off solely based on the potential pain his or her spouse will feel when he/she finds out about the infidelity?
Required.
Actually, what’s required is not to get too involved without stopping or talking with the spouse. I appreciate you can suddenly find yourself verbally flirting, but it’s a bit different to rolling over in bed and saying ‘Oh, what about your spouse?!’…
c)
You have a loved one who is dying of an incurable disease. You are magically given the chance to cure them, but in doing so a stranger someplace else in the world will die. Should you do it?
Reasonable request.
I’m thinking an example given earlier of heart transplants. It’s best to have an agreed donor system. I can’t imagine how I’d behave if my loved one needs a transplant and then a road accident victim comes in - brain-dead, but heart perfect match, no donor arrangement. At that moment, to say something like ‘sorry about your grief, but can I have the heart?’ sounds unbelievably heartless.
(Sorry about the humour - I didn’t see it myself till the last minute.)
Discussions like this are worthwhile in themselves. You can evaluate your own morals, learn about others. I use a milder version with my pupils in class - e.g.
do you hand in to the police station (it’s English law, I think)
a)some money you find in the street
b)some money you see a pensioner drop