Just because I have a non-monogamous relationship does not mean I want to help your lying, two-faced, backstabbing, philandering ass cheat on your husband. In fact, quite the opposite.
I have a profile on a dating site that allows/accepts people in non-monogamous relationships. I was recently contacted by someone and began a discussion. At first it seemed as if she were ‘new’ to the whole thing, but the other day I discovered that she’s just an inveterate cheater. Despite having it clearly spelled out in my profile that integrity and honesty are things I value, she seemed shocked when I explained I was not interested in being involved with someone who is in a relationship with a partner who would disapprove of such things.
I’m not sure if this particular type of dim wit sans moral compass is worse than the types that lose interest on finding out I’m not cheating, but it is a close thing.
Been there, done that–it’s one of the hazards of the poly-/open/swinging lifestyle these days.
Worst one was a guy who waited until the third or fourth conversation (fortunately for my wife’s conscience, before anything had happened) to mention that his fiancee was in the hospital for something that was going to have her bedridden for months, and he was just plain cheating rather than talking out his blue-balls problems with her.
The epilogue to the story was that I told him off over it (I have a boilerplate “not helping you cheat” speech) and he agreed that he needed to talk to his fiance about it instead of just cheating.
Next week my wife gets a message that, paraphrased, read “So I’m single now. You still interested in hooking up?”