I read both of these threads without a hint of a smile. In the second thread, my heart just broke for the guy who said
He was hurt and humiliated and could have fucking died. He probably still hasn’t fully gotten over it. And Potter, who was supposed to be his friend, laughed for ten minutes (exaggeration? I hope so) at the sound of his “small voice crack[ing] with sorrow and shame”.
Someone posted in a CS thread (title was “Spoiler warnings only you’d want in movies” but I can’t find it in a search…damn hamsters) that they’d want a spoiler if a movie has a scene where someone is humiliated. So would I. I can’t count how many times I’ve been the only person in the theater not laughing when a character is utterly degraded. I just don’t understand how these situations are funny. And I’ve heard the Mel Brooks quote, or whoever it was, so spare me.
Also be advised that I’m not asking anyone to change their posting style. I’d just like to know why someone being hurt and humiliated, or simply humiliated, is supposed to be so fucking funny.
Well, I tend to enjoy the come-uppance related, ironic sort of humiliation – enduring the same sort of humiliation you dish out on others, or a nasty bully getting his just desserts by a wimpy kid with wits. You know, the whole karma thing.
I agree, though, humiliation is so often seen as funny. I personally hate comedies where the main character can’t win, and endures a series of humiliations despite his best efforts. I find those sorts of comedies very stressful and difficult to watch. I don’t enjoy the suffering involved.
I agree with fluiddruid humiliation for the villain being funny and at the same time humiliation for the good guy being not funny.
Regarding the second thread with the fellow falling in shit, for some reason I couldn’t stop giggling as I read it. I’m not really sure why this is the case but it sounded funny to me. If it had happened to me I would have been mortified. If the guy had drowned this would have been a horrible tragic story and only a few jerks and morning DJs would find it funny but because the guy was basically unharmed except for the highly tragic loss of his weed, it becomes OK to laught at.
My best WAG is that this is one of those situations in which we in our worst nightmares could imagine happening to us and maybe, somehow, it not happening to us makes it funny. Reading this out loud makes it sound like pure BS so I’ll just be quiet now.
Seriously, Rilchiam, I’ve read that it’s not really humor that causes people to laugh at others’ misfortune, but relief - relief that they weren’t the ones in danger, or that they weren’t the ones embarrassed. We also enjoy being frightened/threatened and ‘escaping’ successfully - thus the popularity of roller coasters and horror movies.
Of course, some people are also psychopaths - they simply don’t have the ability to empathize with another person and thus share their fear/shame. (Note: Psychopaths are not necessarily serial killers and such - they are often very successful politicians and businessmen.)
When a person gets humiliated or (mildly) hurt as a result of deliberately disregarding logic, common sense and more than a few warnings from others, I can’t help but find it humorous.
Example: a few months ago as I was walking home, a woman in her late teens/early 20’s breezed past me on her bicycle. She was riding at night with no helmet and no lights, and rather than watching the road was intently reading (possibly writing) an email message on her mobile phone. I watched as she coasted straight forward for about 10 meters without looking up or changing direction once until she finally smacked dead-center into a parked car. She wasn’t injured (other than her dignity), and I don’t feel the least bit guilty about smiling when I think about what happened to her. Why? Because had the same thing happened to me, I would have felt I’d deserved it for being so careless.
Basically, my personal feelings for humor potential are:
Children: No.
Willful stupidity: Yes, sometimes, and only if pain or humiliation is not out of proportion to the act of stupidity. No permanent injuries.
Asshole getting smacked with the 2x4 of karma: Yes.
The person it happened to is telling the story for humor value: Definately.
These would be for real life. Since I watch movies with the expectation of seeing something that’s not real, my feelings change accordingly.
I don’t mind humiliation in a movie, since it’s fictional, I can laugh at it. What I really don’t like is these candid-camera type shows that focus on simply humiliating the victim and putting them in embarassing situations. I hate that, and I find it utterly disgusting.
I do, however, love Trigger Happy TV, which is from the UK but had been playing on Comedy Central in the states recently. A refreshing new take on the candid camera show. Instead of humiliating people they do things that are actually funny in public.
I understand what you mean Rilchiam. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in this situation: Someone asks me to watch a movie thinking I’d love it. During some scene where some poor person is hurt or humilated, the person who recommended the movie is laughing hysterically while I am sitting stone silent feeling horrible for the character and wondering why this is meant to be funny.
brujo: See, the thing is, a lot of my worst nightmares have already happened. I’ve been humiliated by other people, and was the only person not laughing. So when someone’s clearly upset, I don’t laugh because I feel for them.
OTOH, my experiences have at least given me a thicker skin. When one of those things that could happen to anyone happens to me, like when I fell down a flight of steps on my way to a formal, I’m not upset, because no one did it to me; it just happened.
Sorry, samclem, but I don’t get my self-esteem from other people’s indignity. If someone is visibly embarrassed, I don’t feel superior to them, I feel empathetic.
That’s really the dividing line here. We all stumble once in a while, and it’s possible to find humor in it. But it’s up to the person who did the stumbling to decide how they want to react. I’m not going to laugh while someone else is crying.
I’d say its a lack of empathy because I know that on the internet/television I can laugh at almost anything. In real life I generally feel empathetic with the person going through it.
Many people in Asia would disagree with you. If you trip and fall (without seriously hurting yourself) in front of a crowd in Thailand, every one of them will probably laugh. They are not laughing at your misfortune, however. They are trying to protect your self-esteem, in a sense. The concept of “face” is very important in that part of the world. Tripping over nothing, and falling down as a result can be a source of great embarrassment, resulting in a loss of “face”. The Thai will immediately pretend to assume that you’re just being a funny comedian, and that you fell down on purpose to entertain them. In other words, they’re not saying “HA HA! Look at that stupid guy who can’t even walk!”, they’re saying “HA HA! Look at that clever joker!”
To me, there’s a difference between someone being set up for humiliation and someone doing something stupid entirely of their own volition. There’s a difference in whether the person is in front of people they don’t let their guard down around (huge public areas, people they want to gain respect from, etc) or by themselves or a few people they do not really mind seeing them at their worst. There’s a difference between damage that can be cured with little or no effort and a good night’s sleep and life altering damage.
Someone set up for deliberate public humiliation isn’t funny, it’s just cruel. But personal stupidity that causes negligible damage that doesn’t injure the person’s pride for any length of time or reputation at all? kind of funny.
Hang on. So if my friend says he’s gonna score some weed in the next town over, and returns 2 hours later covered in shit, I’m not supposed to laugh?
Impossible, I’m afraid. The fact that he nearly died (and I’m thinking maybe some exaggeration came into play here) is not laughable, but if the person doesn’t die and just ends up looking like a walking cow pie, what’s not to laugh?
He suffered fear and humiliation and pain while he was not-dying. That doesn’t go away.
Somebody posted here, a long time ago, about a bride who fell into the deep end of a swimming pool at her wedding reception. She didn’t die either, but her big day was ruined. Her gown and veil and hair, ruined. Her enjoyment of the reception (it happened during the first dance), ruined. But she didn’t die. So I suppose it would be okay to laugh.
Zaphod, what you described actually sounds kinda nice. I’m all for the idea of helping people save face. Therefore, it’s also not what I was talking about.
Eh. Some people take life too seriously. Sure, I can see how a bride would be mortified because she fell into a pool. But once it’s happened, it’s done. Put on your jeans and party, I’d say. The day’s not gonna be better by moaning about how horrible it all is.
Moral of the story: different people assign different levels of seriousness to various events. Doesn’t make them assholes, just makes them different.
Laughing about things makes them less painful. Especially stupid things. Here: I still haven’t gotten a handle on the loft concept of beds (a wooden or metal frame that elevates the bed to give you extra desk space). So, I whacked the crap out of my head yesterday standing up after fixing someone’s computer. Painful? Yes. Worth laughing about? Certainly!