Pardel that link is hilarious! I don’t know the German word for that kind of humor but am trying to think of it.
Wait, have you never heard the word “Heimscheißer” (home shitter)? I was one in my youth, I just couldn’t bring myself to sit on one of those always desolate school toilets, so I did my business at home after school.
When or if you put the Donnerbalken up (like erecting it, nudge, nudge…) you could call it Galgenhumor (gallows humor, literally).
Yup. A book, a magazine, or these days often a sudoku – though sometimes I need to stop myself from thinking I need to continue on and finish the sudoku after I’m otherwise done. Finish it on the next round, thorny!
Sometimes it seems to just take a bit of sitting in the right position for the necessary muscles to relax and the other necessary muscles to start functioning.
– as far as reading matter in other people’s bathrooms: I know some people who I’ve visited often enough to notice that it’s always the same reading matter (or that it isn’t) and suspect that they just put something in there in case visitors want to read in the john.
Though, come to think of it, in one of mine I usually just take a fast piss, so there isn’t much turnover of reading matter in that one.
I like to look at TikTok when I’m on the pot and time gets away from me. But I also enjoy the solitude! It’s the only place I can sit without 3 dogs clamoring for my attention or trying to sit next to/on me.
The dog isn’t allowed in the bathroom.
The four cats, on the other hand . . .
(They don’t usually all show up at once. In the bathroom, anyway.)
Twelve year old me spent significant time in the bathroom, not so much reading as being inspired into action by a picture book stolen from my dad.
Depends on the length of the thread in the dope I’m reading when I sit down.
That can be quite a long time!
I’ve never timed it, but not enough time to read anything. Maybe 60-90 seconds from sit down to stand up.
ETA: Over the course of 60+ years, there have, of course, been exceptions. But they’ve been rare.
Dachshunds also tend to, as well. One older rescue who attached herself very strongly to me would always join me at these times. If I left the door open to the hall overlooking the stairs, she’d go out to check if my sister was coming up them. My sister would play peekaboo with her by ducking down a few stairs so she “disappeared.” Then, she’d pop up again. Fleury (the dachshund) loved this and would jump around and get all excited when my sister “reappeared.” Good times.
We’ve actually had those other discussions on the Dope, although in the more distant past. You could probably find a few if you looked.
Yep, not really anal about things
Wow, you should wear a big letter E, like those navy ships for “effectiveness!”
I read most of these posts and I guess that I’m the outlier. I’m in the toilet (restroom) for at least 15 minutes and sometimes almost half an hour. I actually was checking my email on my laptop while on the throne and stumbled upon this. GuanoLad, you mentioned “daily visits” but I don’t go every day. I vividly remember a co-worker mentioning that his routine was to get on the pot first thing in the morning every day. I thought he was joking about every day because I go maybe every two or three days. That’s probably why I crap for so long to make sure everything is out. I’ve never had problems with constipation or hemorrhoids so I suppose that my digestive system is not the norm. Half hour visits are the norm for me but I am still dumbfounded that people can evacuate in such a short time though.
Heavens, do you eat any roughage? Oatmeal? Corn? Other vegetables? Fiber supplements?
What’s key is regularity, not frequency. As long as you otherwise seem fine, don’t worry too much about it. It’s when frequency increases or decreases that you take it to a Doctor.
My old Granny did what she called “pencil poops”
Yep. Just like it sounds.
She had poop days. Wouldn’t leave the house for love nor money those days.
You’d say she was at the commode all day.
Later in life they found she had a huge polyp in there. They wanted to remove it with a big big surgery.
She declined. She said she was used to how it was. At 80+ she just wasn’t giving 2 shits. Literally 
They weren’t gonna discommode her. Go go Granny.
Yeah. My dad was a gastroenterologist, and this is what he said. He also said Abraham Lincoln only pooped once a week. Lotta room in that long body.
That, on the other have, is cause for alarm, as it’s often the first symptom of polyps or cancer. My mom’s doctor got very agitated when my mom mentioned that. But it proved to be just weak muscles and very soft stool in her case.
I’m sure.
Granny was 91 when she died. (Fell asleep and never woke up again)
So everyone is different.