What is the minimum amount of time that you would need in order to determine whether or not you would be willing to have sex with a person you just laid eyes on, assuming they would consent to it?
I don’t know the exact amount of time it would take for me, since I don’t have access to the precision scientific instruments that would be needed to measure such a brief interval of time. But for a ballpark estimate, I’d say-
80 milliseconds
That’s right, 0.080 seconds. I was able to make this estimate because sometimes when I’m looking for something good to watch on TV I’ll just hold down the ‘+’ or the ‘-’ button on the remote, flipping through successive channels at a very rapid pace, and have noticed that this leaves me plenty of time to make the yes or no decision.
I don’t intend to make this decision everytime I see someone, it just happens naturally.
Furthermore, if someone was determined to be a ‘no’, I really can’t think of anything that could put them into the ‘yes’ category, except maybe some cosmetic surgery. Conversely, if someone was determined to be a ‘yes’, I can’t think of anything I could find out about them later on that would turn them into a ‘no’, no matter how bad it was.
Just sleep with? Probably a second or so, just based on looks.
Of course I get teased a lot by my friends (guys) who think the guys I flirt with are geeky in their eyes. Not all the guys I like are geeky looking though. Just I find the really attractive ones are not as approachable as the attractive ones.
In my husband’s case, nine years. We’ve been together ten.
There is more to sex than sex for me. Sex is a complex and emotionally laden thing (and I understand that it may not be that way for everyone, but I am not going to have sex with someone I can’t and haven’t had a conversation with). And there is more to determining whether someone is worth sleeping with than “do they look good?” I’ve had casual sex - sex with friends that didn’t include Love - but it did include Trust.
That’s fine for you, Dangerosa, but are you saying that you’ve never ruled someone out completely within the first few seconds of meeting them based on their physical appearance?
It takes just a glance to know if I would sleep with them. I typically don’t go below a 6 on my internal scale for the visual clues but a really good personality can tilt it largely in favor of said person. However, that will usually take time…at least 2 seconds. LOL
OK, but how long does it take you from first seeing them to actually doing it? My record is a little under an hour (if you count bj’s) but that was a very exceptional exception.
Mere seconds. I missed the opportunity of a lifetime weighing the pros and cons, once. Perhaps my only regret. Besides, really, in most things I usually know what I’m going to do right away, even if I take a long time before I officially announce my decision to myself.
Hmmmm, Can’t say I’ve ever met anyone and within minutes or seconds ever thought about not having sex with them. Doesn’t cross my mind. I’m not saying I would sleep with anyone, just that I don’t look at people as “potential sex partner - yes or no?” Attractive, yes or no or middling, I make that determination pretty much immediately - but jumping from attraction to sex doesn’t happen.
I’m paging through the guys I’ve been working with for the past three years in my mind - I’ve been working with these guys for three years and I’ve only thought about one as a “I’d have sex with him if…” Like any group of people, a couple are quite attractive, one made me sort of gag when I thought about sex with him - but the thought had simply never crossed my mind in three years…is this strange? Is this a female thing?
I have met people and thought - mmmmmm, sex on a stick - but that doesn’t mean I’d be willing to have sex with them - just that I find them sexually attractive enough that their appearence has an immediate effect on my libido - it may be interesting that I have ONLY ONCE even dated a guy I had that reaction to, and we didn’t end up having sex.
I just said based on deciding whether I would sleep with them or not. It has happened to me that I find people more attractive as I get to know them and perhaps I wouldn’t have consciously thought of having sex with them when I first met them I find that I would be more willing to act on it.
I heard somewhere that it takes a very short time for someone to actually decide if they would sleep with someone (sorry, no cite), but I don’t think that precludes acting on it. Heck you may never act on it or it may takes years! You don’t have to jump every person you see that you wouldn’t mind having sex with based merely on looks. If I did that I’d be jumping every 4th guy on the street!
I seem to have two different standards. There’s the immediate “Ugh, me want!” that’s based on physical attraction, and then there’s another process that can take anywhere from until a conversation starts to several years since the last time I saw somebody. So, yeah, given a zero to several years time frame, I’d have to say it varies.
That said, it seems to depend on what I’m thinking about when I see them. Once the question of sex is raised the decision’s generally very quick, but the question may not even occur to me.