My ex-wife got a lawyer and I’m now supposed to address all questions through her concerning the upcoming change in custody, the motion I placed before the courts, and all that.
Friday I call - she’s “in court”. I leave a message.
Monday morning I call, “She’s stepped out.” I leave a message.
Monday noon I send an email.
Monday afternoon I call, “She’s in conference.” I leave a message.
Tuesday morning I call, “She’s on the phone.” I leave a message that this is my fourth attempt to contact her.
What’s a reasonable response time? I was actually feeling kinda positive about my ex getting a lawyer - at least, I thought, I was going to be able to work with a sane person.
Why are you calling the lawyer? Your own lawyer should be doing that.
Lawyers are not likely to respond to “call me back” messages from non-lawyers. Even lawyer-to-lawyer messages are detailed, setting forth the reasons for calling and the desired responses.
I don’t have a lawyer yet. When I find out her lawyer’s intentions, I’ll decide if and what-kind of lawyer I need. Until then, since we all have the right to self representation, I’d think she’d have to talk with me.
Give her some time to familiarize herself with the case. She has other clients, and she might not even have had a chance to sit down and talk with your ex yet.
Actually, you should probably prepare to be ignored. You’re not going to get the same consideration as a fellow lawyer would. I’m imagining a huge smile on this woman’s face. “Your ex is representing himself? Excellent!” (Say that in Mr. Burns’ voice.)
No, she wouldn’t have to talk with you, unless she believes it’s in her client’s interest to do so. Your right to self-representation doesn’t obligate another party’s attorney to reply to voice mails. All it means is that you may communicate with the court or the judge without engaging an attorney.
What information do you think is going to reveal what kind of lawyer you need? You need someone who practices family and divorce law.
And, as I said, “call me back” messages are not likely to get responses. Lawyers don’t like to engage in communication before knowing what they are expected to say.
I can tell you first hand the divorce lawyers will try and give it to you when you don’t have one yourself. I skipped on having one because we had no kids and really nothing except the cars and house. We spelled out exactly what we were supposed to get, signed the papers and everything then just had to wait.
Then jerkwad started sending me letters and things like that expecting me to get right back to him. Except he never once put the correct address on my mail so I wouldn’t get it for weeks if ever. He kept trying to tell me that I was at fault for not getting back to him. I even told him 5-6 times what my correct address was, did everything by the book. She never did anything, so much so I had to take her to court just to get her to sign the car over to me, which she never did.
When it came time for court he tried to get me to pay him for her. There was some clause in the divorce papers saying that if someone doesn’t sign papers or give money for the house the other would pay all expenses. I however had signed everything, and had proof, she never signed anything and never gave me the money for the house on time.
I took to editing his letter to me, they were full of misspellings and grammar errors, so much so that I could see them. When we had a break in the hearings he came up to me and said here’s my bill. I asked for what and he wouldn’t give me an answer. I told him she would owe me since I had paid the court costs and she had only just signed over the car almost a year later. I ended up not paying.
I should have turned his ass in as I kept all of the letter he sent me, some with no zip code, others with wrong street address, some without a name. I’d either get someone, or really watch out.
What did you take away from your last thread with regard to lawyers and your need for one?
It struck me as both clear and urgent that you DO need a lawyer, of the divorce-lawyer ilk, and the best you can afford. Maybe better than you can afford.
I hope your ex and her lawyer will not fight the custody arrangements and will get your name removed from the joint credit. I hope for the best for you. But you need to be prepared.
Right now there is no plans, she says, to file a motion to modify. This is good. Maybe I can return to where it should be. A divorce agreement, already on paper, custody arrangements, already on paper, and everything as we agreed.
I’m thinking the lawyer talked to my Ex and said, “you know, he’s being reasonable and he could’ve had you cited for contempt way before this.” She’s going to end up shelling out for a lawyer who is going to just tell her to follow the existing paperwork. I’m OK with that. All I wanted was the existing deal.
If I get a motion, though, to modify anything, then a lawyer for me will be hired. As it is, I’ll be getting legal advice before I go to the meeting where the CS will be recalculated (the stipulation).
River in Egypt, dude. Get a lawyer before you stand infront of or talk to her lawyer even once. She is getting paid to fuck you and she will do whatever she thinks she can get away with.
She called. That means you have none of these promises in writing, right? And you haven’t taped that phone call. The effect of that phone call is that you now think you don’t need a lawyer, you are relieved, off guard, and so you will show up in court without a lwayer of your own.
[Mr Burns] Excellent…[/Mr. Burns]
I’m not that cynical, but this has red lights flashing all over for me.
Like we all keep saying: GET A LAWYER ALREADY. Stop pussy-footing around and get a mother fucking attorney right now.
Then let them worry about it. And when you do, do not be the slightest bit bothered if it sometimes takes several weeks to get an uncooperative answer on a simple issue. The attorney has other clients to deal with, her attorney has other clients to deal with, and you’re being fucked with. Get used to waiting.
April 3rd will get this all on paper. I’m not buying anything without paperwork.
The rules of the court say the can’t just sneak up and whack me on the back of the head with a judgment - they have to make a motion, I make a response, it’s all nice and civilized.
If we fill out papers for a stipulated change in child support, then that’s what it is - it doesn’t turn into a something else after it’s filed. If I don’t agree to the numbers, I don’t stipulate and I proceed forward with my own motion.
They have to answer my motion to enforce with a legal response. If the response doesn’t say the right things, I go to court and argue. It’s not like the phone call means anything. I know to wait for the papers.
All right - I know nothing about your situation, and next to nothing about family law, but I have been a lawyer, worked with lawyers, and been married to a lawyer for nearly 25 years.
As much as it pains me to say this, NOT EVERY SINGLE LAWYER IS A COMPLETE LYING PRICK 100% OF THE TIME.
I deal with unrepresented individuals over the phone all of the time, and despite the fact that their interests are different from my client’s, believe it or not I do not take advantage of them simply because I could. Nor am I always completely dishonest in my dealings with them. Tons and tons of things get done over the phone, with written confirmation essentially an afterthought.
Further, in my experience courts tend to be very solicitous of apparently well-intentioned individuals representing themselves. Should you find yourself standing before a judge and hear the lawyer saying something completely different that what you understood over the phone, I have a hard time imagining a judge who would not afford a brief continuance to allow you to consult an attorney. Especially if this is not already a tremendously drawn-out matter and you haven’t demonstrated a practice of delaying. Hell, IME I more often have my time wasted and my client disadvantaged by some court bending over backwards to cut a break for some lying scumbag who is representing himself.
IMO, the main reason you might want to seek counsel is simply because you may not be expert and objective at identifying and assessing your options, obligations, and implications. But if you are very comfortable that the result the lawyer promised you is everything you want, I am not at all convinced that you need to run up a bill just assuming he’s gonna turn around and dick you.
Not saying no lawyer is ever gonna dick ya, but in this instance, it seems you’ll have plenty of opportunity to enrich an attorney of your own should the need arise.
Yup. I represent clients against unrepresented opponents now and then, and I don’t try any silly tricks to get one over on them. I just helped settle a case against an unrepresented guy and I drafted a good settlement agreement that was a straight up fair deal for both sides, as they wanted it. I probably could have put some sneaky stuff in the agreement to favor my client, but I just used the same agreement I would have used as if the opponent had counsel.
Speaking not as a lawyer but as a busy business person…I want to reiterate what acsenray said about calling someone and not leaving a message with a stated purpose, or emailing saying “call me.” Of course, I don’t know that that’s what you did…
But it does drive us nuts. If I know I have 15 minutes free and I know your call will take 15 minutes, I’ll call. If I have no idea what you want then I don’t know how long your call will take and I can’t possibly call you unless I have an hour or two to spare (which is unusual) in case your call takes that long. Open-ended messages and emails end up at the bottom “oops, sorry missed your message last week, it’s been nuts around here tee hee” pile.
