The usual [del]eccentric[/del] sadistic billionaire is offering you a small fortune for each of your fingers. If you accept, whichever fingers you sell will be amputated by a qualified surgical team; you will be anesthesized during the procedure (you may choose whether under a general or local); the sadist will pay all associated medical bills. Th money will will transferred into your account one day before the amputation(s). You can abort any time up to the beginning of the procedure but will, obviously, have to return the money. And no, you don’t get the fingers back. That is what “sell” means.
Here are the rates & rules:
[ol]
[li]For the pinky on your non-dominant hand, you can get $125,000.[/li][li]For the pinky on your dominant hand: $250,000.[/li][li]For the ring finger on your non-dominant hand: $500,000.[/li][li]For the ring finger on your dominant hand: $1,000,000.[/li][li]For the middle finger on your non-dominant hand: $2,000,000.[/li][li]For the middle finger on your dominant hand: $4,000,000.[/li][li]For the index finger on your non-dominant hand: $8,000,000.[/li][li]For the index finger on your dominant hand: $16,000,000[/li][li]For the thumb on your non-dominant hand: $32,000,000.[/li][li]For that thumb on your dominant hand: $64,000,000.[/li][/ol]
In all cases, the payment is calculated so you get the above amount AFTER any taxes. But here’s the kicker: you can’t take any option without also taking all those above it. There’s no skipping to the million for the ringer finger on your dominant hand: you’d have to sell both pinkies and the non-dominant-hand ring finger too. You’ll get paid for each one, of course, or $1,875,000 total–but you’d also have no only the middle fingers, forefingers, and thumbs left too.
Interesting question. A friend of mine is a self employed landscaper. He lost the tip of his ring? finger years ago and got $5 thousand from his disability insurance policy. His wife, when drunk, laments about what a coward he is for not parting with another piece of finger.
I think I could part with my left pinky. That’s it, though.
Although… I could probably retire if I went down to #3 and missing only my pinky on the right side wouldn’t really change my functionality TOO much. That would be a tough choice, I guess.
I always think of these things starting from the vantage point of my reality, so I just went over to my workbench and tried gripping a few of the tools I use without engaging first my pinkies, and then ring fingers. Walking back I was planning to reply just pinkies.
Then I figured out that with a fairly conservative investment strategy I could go up to the middles and live off interest income, and still be able to button a shirt and work a can opener.
To take it further, for the whole megileh I could get some badass advanced prosthetic hands and pay people to do a lot of other stuff.
But I think I’ll stick with my gut reaction, which was just pinkies. That would set me up nicely.
My first thought was: I would take # 10. The money, per the rules, would be transferred to my account one day before the procedure. Then, immediately before the procedure, I would change my mind and return the money. I would, however, keep the interest that was generated on the $64 million while I briefly held it.
According to an online interest calculator, even at 1/2% annual interest, this would earn me nearly $900. For the quantities involved, I should be able to negotiate a higher rate with the bank. So, let’s say it nets me a couple grand. That’s not a life-changing amount of money, but it’s not bad for a day of not doing any real work.
My second thought was: Maybe trying to rules-lawyer a sadistic billionaire who deals in appendages isn’t the best course of action.
If we leave aside weaseling, I would probably opt for #1. I could afford to lose the pinky on my right hand for $125,000.
64 million might be able to set you up with a pretty sweet set of prosthetics. But it would be really hard to get by without opposable thumbs, even with that kind of cash… so I’ll take the $4 million.
Zero. Which do people think is more likely: that a sadist is willing to pay a hundred million dollars to cut off all your fingers, or that a sadist is willing to pay zero dollars to cut off all your fingers and then laugh at your naivety?
If it were just me, I would consider that strongly. But I like online gaming, so using a keyboard is essential to my happiness. And I think I might lose my fiance if I couldn’t give him a good old-fashioned every once in awhile.
Where do I sign up? I am willing to sell the pinky finger of my dominant for the 250K asap. I have Dupuytren’s contracture and the bastard is at half mast all ready. If I had a mini guillotine I’d have hacked it myself already.
I’d give up both pinkies and ring fingers for that kind of scratch. They’re starting to stiffen up from arthritis anyway, so in the long run it’ll be a win/win.
I am right handed and play guitar so my non dominant left pinkie is way more valuable to me than my dominant right hand pinkie. If it wasn’t for “the kicker” I’d give some thought to selling my right hand pinkie for 250K.