How much can I sell my kids for in Bangkok?

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

@Lynn_Bodoni

Get some brochures from Tranquility Bay and similar teen rehab “resorts” and very casually place them around the house. Make it seem like you’re hiding them, but make them very easy to find. I wouldn’t advise actually sending her to such a place, but she should know that these places exist.

Or alternately, start applying a wooden spoon to her rump. Or ground her from the computer and phone and TV.

We have our hands full with her and the worst part is her polluting the minds of our sons whom are 8 and 4. I need to stop hijacking this thread!

[kayaker]

@FoieGrasIsEvil

I’d pay someone to take my stepdaughter off my hands. She’s 16, cute, likes MySpace and the words “fuck” and “cunt” a lot, smokes weed and cigarettes, takes opiate pills, drinks booze, has unprotected sex, is failing all her classes and got expelled from school: she’s adorable! Any takers?

I’m a 51 year old male, and other than the poor grades you have described me!:eek:

ETA: Yes, I’m cute. So what?

[Telcontar]

@FoieGrasIsEvil

I’d pay someone to take my stepdaughter off my hands. She’s 16, cute, likes MySpace and the words “fuck” and “cunt” a lot, smokes weed and cigarettes, takes opiate pills, drinks booze, has unprotected sex, is failing all her classes and got expelled from school: she’s adorable! Any takers?

If you’ll pay shipping, I know some bad influences in Philadelphia that would probably love to meet her. Oh the darker side of the philly goth scene

Out of curiosity, how can she afford that stuff, or would i be happier not knowing?

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

@kayaker

I’m a 51 year old male, and other than the poor grades you have described me!:eek:

ETA: Yes, I’m cute. So what?

@Telcontar

If you’ll pay shipping, I know some bad influences in Philadelphia that would probably love to meet her. Oh the darker side of the philly goth scene

Out of curiosity, how can she afford that stuff, or would i be happier not knowing?

I have no idea. Like you, I probably don’t want to know.

[FriarTed]

@Kyla

(She hastened to add that it was one of those fancy umbrellas that opens and closes with a button.)

Dear God if that doesn’t sound like a Monty Python line!

[kopek]

@EvilTOJ

pfft I have two teenagers and if I’m going to only get a max of $400 and maybe a nice umbrella, where can I get top dollar? I figure [del]airfare[/del] shipping a steamer trunk is expensive, I want to make the best return on my investment.

The Ionian Islands maybe? With some of the reports I’ve heard from various people at Church-wide Assembly, that place may make Thailand look normal.

@Siam_Sam

“How much can I sell my kids for in Bangkok?”

Put like that it almost sounds like a song cue:

How much can I sell my kids for in Bangkok?
They all got such waggity tails.
How much can I sell my kids for in Bangkok?
They’re making my life a living Hell.

[lorene]

My adorable son still has his baby fat (he’s 5). My husband and I sometimes will wonder what we could get selling him by the pound (Never ever ever have we said this anywhere near him, don’t worry), bu usually it’s in a “He’s so cute! I’ll bet we could make some serious bucks with this kid” sort of way.

[Cerowyn]

My boys are 15 now, and it’s funny that for all the trouble they’ve been in the past*, I’m happy that the only real problems we have with them now are school grades that aren’t as good as they should be.

• There’s nothing quite like the experience of a school principal telling you that not only do your kids seem to be immune to peer pressure, they are the ones leading others into trouble.

[Boyo_Jim]

Inigo my friend, this needs some serious study. Sure you can sell your kids into slavery, but is that really the best choice? Let me offer some other ideas that may increase your personal profit. I assume you are thinking “sex slave” because you mentioned Thailand – certainly that’s what I think of when I think of Thailand. However, I understand there are thriving sex markets all over the world, and I think you can significantly reduce your costs with domestic sales. Of course, once you sell your children into slavery, I suppose their intended use, for sex or merely labor, is not particularly of concern to you.

But there are some other options to consider. For instance, you might sell them a bit at a time. None of your kids need two kidneys. If push comes to shove they don’t even need two eyes. At some point, of course, they will run out of useful organs, and at that point your best hope is to find a cannibal who will buy them for the meat.

If you happen to know a cannibal though, you might want to fatten up the kids for a while, especially of you can sell them by the pound.

I suppose age is an important consideration. Should children be treated more like veal, or mutton?

Have you thought about rentals?

[Ale]

Inigo I have good news and bad news for you.I’ve showed your kid’s portfolio around and the good news is that the best deal I could get you was 10.000.000 Baht, cash, no questions asked.

The bad news is that’s what they ask from you to take the little devil.

[Little_Nemo]

Look into STEP Parenting. This might help you with your kids. This isn’t a “Parenting” course per say, but more of a way to read your children’s actions and how to correct their misbehavior in a way that they think it’s their idea to do the right thing.

Glad you cleared that up. Because I thought your original suggestion was he should divorce his current spouse and start over with a new family.