Maybe I’m a bad parent, I don’t know. I spent yesterday morning in first appearance court for something my crazy son didn’t do, and then last night the sheriff dropped by to talk to my oldest daughter about some fake Facebook accounts she’s created…
Nuts to this, says I. I’m getting rid of the lot of them, even the two young ones because it’s just a matter of time. So, assuming I’m a halfway decent negotiator, how much can I get for 2 girls, aged 10 & 14 and two boys aged 9 & 11 if I sell them to a slave trader somwhere in The Far East? Would I at least be able to cover airfare?
(For those with absolutely no sense of humor, the above is a question about known slave-trade prices and does not indicate an actual desire participate in the slave trade with my own spawn or anyone else’s)
Look into STEP Parenting. This might help you with your kids. This isn’t a “Parenting” course per say, but more of a way to read your children’s actions and how to correct their misbehavior in a way that they think it’s their idea to do the right thing.
However, I would like to know the answer question so I could at least threaten effectively with an actual price.
“Keep it up and we’ll book a flight to Thailand. I hear I can sell you and get $X for a kid in your age range.”
We currently say we’d sell them to Gypsy’s but that line has gotten a little old.
WARNING: Contains some near nude photos. Basically(and this should be obvious), I would not open this link at work.
Mods, feel free to break the link if it’s unacceptable.
By the way, and I know you were not asking, but I support Rapha House in Cambodia. They help girls by purchasing them out of slavery, giving them counseling, and training them to have a skill they can use when they leave. They 85% success rate of girls not going back into drugs and prostitution after they leave.
Just because a cop is talking to you doesn’t mean you did anything illegal. It could have been a “if this goes any further (cyber-bullying, trying to attract older men, impersonation) it’s could land you in some hot water” or “we’re just following up on a complaint we received” type of thing.
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Since this is a joke thread, I think it would be happier over in MPSIMS with all the other joke threads. I’m moving it over there … NOW!
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Inigo, I feel your pain, although I think my kids are under control now. But see if the people you sell yours to want a loud dog and a pissy cat.
I dunno, you might get more if you part them out in the domestic market. My husband and I and the insurance company have just paid a lot of good money for a new knee for him. Probably could’ve gotten a better price pulling a part at a junkyard. Would’ve paid a premium for a nice low-mileage knee from a teenager!
In all seriousness, as I’ve mentioned before, I did a research project on human trafficking in the Philippines last semester. (We’ve submitted our paper to a journal; if it’s published, I will actually die of excitement. As far as we could tell, no one has ever researched our precise topic.) Part of our project included going to the Philippines and conducting interviews with experts on the topic. One woman at an anti-trafficking NGO told us that they’ve rescued children who had been sold by their parents for cell phones and an umbrella. (She hastened to add that it was one of those fancy umbrellas that opens and closes with a button.)
Basically, if people are so poor that they will give up their children for a fucking umbrella, I wouldn’t put too much stock on being able to make much off of your kids. It is clearly a buyer’s market.
Most of the time, the crazy shit people do just rolls like an avalanche off a really big duck, but this… an umbrella for a child… is just too sad/weird/unbefuckinglivable for me today.
Not that I doubt you Kyla, I just feel like I should be selling all the stuff in my house and donating it.
Good luck with your kids, Inigo. Duct tape is a good temporary solution for summer holidays.
I was visiting in a house today where a 13 year old girl was having a meltdown over usage of a cellphone. I do not miss the teen years today. At one point, I had three teenage boys and one teenage girl. I’m still not sure I escaped with my sanity. Good luck, Inigo, you are outnumbered.
Not that I want them, thanks anyway. Thais think Western children are adorable, but I’m not sure anyone would pay you substantially for them. Nothing you might think is substantial, but the 100 or 200 bucks they might fork over could seem a fortune to them.
You could try a begging ring, as they often pair babies and children with female beggars and stick them in tourist spots. There was even one case of a transvestite beggar renting “her” neighbor’s baby to go begging with. But doncha know one of these do-gooder tourists would probably complain to an embassy or something.
pfft I have two teenagers and if I’m going to only get a max of $400 and maybe a nice umbrella, where can I get top dollar? I figure [del]airfare[/del] shipping a steamer trunk is expensive, I want to make the best return on my investment.
I’d pay someone to take my stepdaughter off my hands. She’s 16, cute, likes MySpace and the words “fuck” and “cunt” a lot, smokes weed and cigarettes, takes opiate pills, drinks booze, has unprotected sex, is failing all her classes and got expelled from school: she’s adorable! Any takers?
I have no MyFace or SpaceBook knowlege personally, but apparently you need a name and birthday to create an account. Using someone’s personal information without their consent is shady and lacks only a component of monetary gain in order to qualify as identity theft/fraud. As it was she qualified for misdemeanor computer crime, but the cop was nice enough to let her off the hook because she was so brave and honest when he asked her about the pages. Once the pages were created for the individual, the password to the account was passed around and landed with someone who really nastied the page up.
The other case involves a class 6 felony and is still pending so, sorry! No details!
I’m becoming a firm believer in post-term abortion.
Get some brochures from Tranquility Bay and similar teen rehab “resorts” and very casually place them around the house. Make it seem like you’re hiding them, but make them very easy to find. I wouldn’t advise actually sending her to such a place, but she should know that these places exist.
Or alternately, start applying a wooden spoon to her rump. Or ground her from the computer and phone and TV.
