How much of being loud during sex is learned vs. (?) personality?

The question is pretty much in the subject. I’m especially talking about women, since I’ve mostly had female sexual partners. All made some noises of pleasure when things were going on, some more (much more) vocally than others.

I actually prefer it quieter. A good friend was telling me how great it was that he’d trained (not his word…he maybe said “taught”) his girlfriend to be loud in bed, which I think sums things up well. The whole “screamer” thing has always felt a little fake to me. Like my partner is putting on a show of extreme enjoyment for my benefit.

But, of course, I can’t get inside other people’s heads, and of course no one is going to say “yeah, I just fake it so you feel sexy,” so I’m curious: how much of it is learned by encouragement from partners/porn/etc., and how much is just the woman’s personality? Some of us are louder talkers/laughers/etc., so it stands to reason that some are louder during sex. But I can’t help feeling that it’s very staged.

Humble opinions?

I am very very quiet.
When your first experiences are in the basement with your parents asleep upstairs you learn to be quiet.
I can’t make a lot of noise, not gonna happen.

Noting the juxtaposition of username/topic.

My girlfriend is very vocal when she wants to be. I wouldn’t have it any other way either. I love listening to her moan. :wink:

However, she can be quiet when she has to be (when other people are in the apartment).

Unless you gag me, I’m loud.

I’m not a screamer, but I do moan and like naughty talk. I can get loud when I’m climaxing but not “screaming” loud. That wouldn’t seem natural, for me. I can also have quiet orgasms, solo or with my lover. Actually, there are times when a quiet orgasm means that it is super intense… and when I have to be quieter because there are other people in the house in nearby bedrooms sleeping (like when my boyfriend and I visit his father) I can be quiet as a mouse.

If someone has to “teach” their partner to be loud - what they hear is mostly for their benefit and probably not natural. An observant lover should be able to pick up non verbal cues from their partner. Body language when having sex, to me, speaks much louder.

Even if you gag me, I’ll still find a way to get loud.

I am normaly a semi quiet male, a few years ago I dated a girl and for some reason I would roar like a lion when I was climaxing, every time we got together. Never could figure out why.
It was always a very slow build with her and levels of arousal seemed to maintain very well with a gradual acceleration.

IMHO the size of the areola is in direct proportion to the amplification of voice during sex. The larger the areola the louder they are. Its a fun case study.

I find it to be more bad habit than anything else.
Like tennis players who have to grunt every time they swing the racket, even on gentle slice swings…

And it’s also situational/reactive. You’d feel a bit awkward staying quiet all the time if your partner was the complete opposite.

What basement? My bed and theirs abutted the same wall!

I once lived in five bedroom house, and the owner rented the rooms. Nice big place, very cool to live in this gorgeous house - but anyway, the guy renting the room next to me was deaf. He was a great guy and we got along great.

However, whenever he and his friend would have sex, wow! Both were deaf, but both were really, really loud when they had sex. I guess they were not aware of it, but it was both funny and odd at the same time.

Myself and SO? Quiet types mostly…

I could go either way, quiet or loud, but my SO loves to hear me. So I think it’s just a vocal expression of what you feel, it’s still genuine even though you could keep it bottled up. At the same time, of course it’s a response to the fact the he enjoys hearing how I feel. If he didn’t like it, I’d probably try to be quieter.

It can also depend, when sex gets a little wilder sometimes the air gets forced out of you, you can’t help vocalising.

Can’t remember the comedian but the joke was what would sex sound like for a couple who had never seen a movie.

I remember a deaf comedienne talking about not realizing as a teen that she made noise when she masturbated. A LOT of noise.

In Spain?

Very first time, my wife screamed LOUD, and every time since for over 40 years. She thought I was silent but she just couldn’t hear me.

My wife is sometimes very, VERY loud. Like, we both have at times burst out laughing immediately after her orgasm, just at the sheer ridiculousness of the noises. It is not learned by her (as far as she knows, as she doesn’t like or watch porn, in general), nor encouraged by me, although I do like hearing it.

My ex-girlfriend once heard the woman in the apartment next to her. She was worried that the woman was getting abused and if we should intervene, either ourselves or by calling 911.

Yes, dear, she is getting stabbed repeatedly. And no, I don’t think that she wants to be interrupted.