How much would you pay for a human soul? (market research)

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’m meeting with the SBA officer at my bank next month to present a business plan for my Soul Monger venture. Without getting into too much detail, my plan is to act as a sort of middleman between Heaven and Hell. There is an abundant supply of souls available, at discount rates, and robust demand (you know, if you sell your soul to the Devil, and you happen to be in possession of two souls, you are free to specify which one you choose to bargain with). Old Scratch doesn’t care a lick where the soul comes from as long as the quotas are met. Also, (to satisfy The Powers That Be) I will provide a release clause stipulating that untraded souls will ultimately be delivered to where ever they would have gone prior to trade.

I still need to fix the original price, though. I suspect that once this is all up and running the price will fluctuate from day to day, based on typical market forces, but I need a definitive starting point for my business plan to satisfy the SBA loan officer (and any investors I may attract). I’ve lined up a focus group later this month, but I was hoping I might get some preliminary results here (you’ve all been very helpful in the past). I have a number in mind but I don’t want to bias anyone.

So, how much would you pay for a human soul?

2

$5,000 USD in non-sequential Jefferson $2-bills. Is that too low?

3

$29.95. But wait! That’s not all! Call in the next ten minutes and we’ll throw in a second soul for free! That’s a $10,000 value for only $29.95!

4

Are you talking about a median price or a one-size-fits-all retail price?

Because, frankly, my soul is worth a lot more than, say, Fred Phelps’.

I think you’ll need to create a series of pricing levels, like with Christmas trees or Hallowe’en pumpkins.

5

You had better check with your lawyers first. I believe that Human Souls™ are a proprietary item, and the User Agreement specifies that they may only be sold, traded or redeemed by and at an Authorised Dealership. Unless you get written permission from The Management prior to engaging in this enterprise, you will be violating said User Agreement and subject to Penalties from said Management.

6

Well, depends on the soul, now doesn’t it?
Some souls are hardier than others, some are purer. Does Beelezebub prefer minted new, without a scratch on 'em souls or is he less picky? Determining price can be so tricky.

I’d say your run of the mill, ignores some traffic laws, but pays his taxes and doesn’t cheat on his wife soul should run you about $10 grand. Why so much? The average American holds about $8 grand on credit cards, so the $10 grand allows that to be paid off, with a bit extra for the wide screen Hi-Def toy he wants.
Women’s souls are a different pricing scale altogether. Your average sinning Jane will run you about $12 grand. It’s more because they live longer and have better fine motor skills. Don’t look at me that way, I don’t make these rules up!

7

I think the quality of the soul in question would affect the pricing significantly.[ul]
[li]how old is the soul?[/li][li]is it a Christian soul, other religion, or Athiest?[/li][li]male or female soul?[/li][li]is it vegetarian or meat lovers?[/li][li]is it previously owned?[/li][li]can it play the fiddle?[/li][/ul]
Using the Devil as the ultimate consumer here, I would think that he would value Christian souls over Athiest ones since he’s likely to get those anyway. Although ease of soul obtainment would likely also be a factor. It may be fairly easy to get a little old lady soul when she is on a fixed income and needs to buy her meds, and with the Boomer population reaching that age shortly, there may be a glut of available souls on the market.

8

[QUOTE=silenus]
You had better check with your lawyers first. I believe that Human Souls™ are a proprietary item, and the User Agreement specifies that they may only be sold, traded or redeemed by and at an Authorised Dealership. Unless you get written permission from The Management prior to engaging in this enterprise, you will be violating said User Agreement and subject to Penalties from said Management.
[/QUOTE]

Technically, I would not actually be taking possession of the soul. Rather, I would be trading on exercising those rights. No conflict.

9

Bart Simpson sold his soul for $5. Does that help?

10

[QUOTE=Hockey Monkey]
I think the quality of the soul in question would affect the pricing significantly.
[/QUOTE]

Many folks here seem to be under this impression, as well. You are, however, wrong. The value of a soul is not influenced in any way by the actions of it’s host. Soul’s are very much a cosmic commodity item, not unlike orange juice or pork bellies.

11

[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas]
Bart Simpson sold his soul for $5. Does that help?
[/QUOTE]

That’s not really a sustainable price point, and I think at the end of the episode he got it back (and was thus vindicated).

12

Aside from selling it to the Devil, what are some of the features that will be included in the Human Soul 1.0?

13

[QUOTE=Winston Smith]
Many folks here seem to be under this impression, as well. You are, however, wrong. The value of a soul is not influenced in any way by the actions of it’s host. Soul’s are very much a cosmic commodity item, not unlike orange juice or pork bellies.
[/QUOTE]

Have you considered starting a futures market in souls instead?

14

[QUOTE=Winston Smith]
Without getting into too much detail, my plan is to act as a sort of middleman between Heaven and Hell.
[/QUOTE]
Can’t you spare me over till another year?

15

I believe the going rate for a human soul is one music lesson.

16

I traded someone their soul for a lava lamp. Not sure what to do with it, really, but I own it now…

17

[QUOTE=Winston Smith]
Many folks here seem to be under this impression, as well. You are, however, wrong. The value of a soul is not influenced in any way by the actions of it’s host. Soul’s are very much a cosmic commodity item, not unlike orange juice or pork bellies.
[/QUOTE]

Ok, if that is true, then so be it. I stand by my price of $10 grand for male souls and $12 for females.

I do have a few questions that may impact on the price:

are these souls the same size (for male and female)?

what is the redistribution model (aka turnover)? Is it LIFO or FIFO?

Where do kids’ souls factor in or is that another market altogether.

A sound business plan, Mr Smith, depends on such details.

18

Yeah, like I need another useless thing cluttering up my house.

19

[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
Ok, if that is true, then so be it. I stand by my price of $10 grand for male souls and $12 for females.

I do have a few questions that may impact on the price:

are these souls the same size (for male and female)?

what is the redistribution model (aka turnover)? Is it LIFO or FIFO?

Where do kids’ souls factor in or is that another market altogether.

A sound business plan, Mr Smith, depends on such details.
[/QUOTE]

I assure you I have a sound business plan.

You are still clinging to idea that souls differ meaningfully from one another. This is simply not the case. I will adress your questions, though, in an attempt to disabuse you of these rediculous notions.
Are these souls the same size (for male and female)?

Sould are non-corporeal, so the concept of size simply does not apply. This is a tremendous advantage in regard to storage costs (approximately $0.00)

What is the redistribution model (aka turnover)? Is it LIFO or FIFO?

LIFO/FIFO distribution models do not apply. The very concept is, in fact, completely irrelevent. Think of it this way: Does it matter which dollars you get back from the bank when you withdraw money? Or which dollars you get when you sell stock? A dollar has the exact same value regardless of who holds it in his pocket, and so does a soul.

Where do kids’ souls factor in or is that another market altogether.

The age of the soul is not a function of the age of the host (souls are immortal).

I hope this helps.

20

We also need some information on what use a soul has. Can it be used to power spells/enchantments/god powers? Or is it more like a knicknack that god figures and voodoo priests collect just for the sake of collecting them, akin to postage stamps.