And if you combine **Delly’s ** assumptions with Quasi’s, just think how many times it would take to make twins. :eek:
And Quasi, I’m afraid that flickering is the distant star of my babe-dom. While I’ve been trying to fight gravity lately, and I’ve won a few rounds, I’m afraid my babe-dom may never make a full recovery.
I’ll let you know when to send condolences, though. Not giving up on it yet. 
I thought that a training bra actually trained the, uhm, breasts!
This was such a deep belief system in me, that I still wonder if it’s possible…
sometimes I check for progress. So far, I’m too shy to ask for a second opinion. Well, blush, enough shared, 'tis time for an adult beverage now…
Knew about the mechanics (from a book), but had no clue about the emotional aspects.
I had never seen anyone flirting, and knew only married couples and kids, so I thought men and women got married for legal and economic reasons. The idea that people would have sex for fun never occurred to me.
I used to be very naive when I was younger, hell, even into my early 20’s (I’m 30 now). I’m no longer naive, except for when it comes to drugs. I’ve never done them (Not even pot), and even though I had some friends who were at one time heavy drug users, we never discussed the subject much. But I was so naive about drugs (and probably still am) that twice (as far as I know) I was in the presence of someone who was high, and never even knew it. The first time, I was giving a ride to this one girl I use to know to a get together for members of a local BBS that I used to belong to (remember those? 
). Anyway, I picked her up and she was giggling the whole way there. I asked her what was so funny, and she told me that she’d tell me later. On the ride home, she told me that just before picking her up, her and her mother had smoked some pot together. She was high, she was sitting right next to me, and I couldn’t even tell…uhg!
I’d like to think that I’m a little bit better now, but hell, I bet even today if somebody around me was high, I probably couldn’t tell. Oh well.
When I was a kid, I used to read old Doonesbury books, and when I read the strip in which Duke says that it is his lifelong dream to “drop acid on the great wall”, I assumed that he had a desire to take some hydrochloric acid and pour it onto the great wall for some reason.
And for ages I thought that the lyric “When I was five I remember my mother/dug earrings out of the car/I knew that they weren’t hers but it wasn’t/something you’d want to discuss” from A Chorus Line meant that her mother was a jewel thief.
I’m so naive that when I saw Wolfe’s thread, “How do you manage your dope?” I thought he was asking about the baggie I keep in the freezer.
My dad always used to talk about “making whoopee.” My mom would just look irritated when he would mention it.
One day I announced to them that I knew what they were talking about. I had figured out what “making whoopee” meant.
They would get out the drum of Quaker Oats, take off the lid, grab handfuls of dry, oatey goodness and throw it in the air…
All while yelling, “WHOOPEE!”
I figured that my mom got irritated because she had to do all the clean up.
They bought me a container of oats for a wedding present.
After my mom had the sex talk with me, I still thought that babies were delivered by the doctor sticking his hand in Mom’s belly button and pulling out the baby while turning it right side in (like taking off a latex glove). I knew it had something to do with the belly button. Not so sure the real explanation is any less scary…
In 3rd grade, it was popular to ask, “Are you a virgin?” I didn’t know what one was, so my answer always varied. I think very few kids who asked the question knew what it was either.
I think parents are terrified to tell kids the actual mechanics of sex because they (the parents) are afraid that they (the kids) will want to run right out and try it themselves, right? I don’t think they realize how much their talks actually muddy the waters and that they cause more confusion and fear than they clear up. Or maybe they know exactly what they’re doing
Anyway, I’d watched enough prime time television that I knew that adults “slept together.” However, I didn’t know what the “sleeping” entailed. After our first sex ed. class in the 5th grade, which explained about the egg and the sperm but now how tab A was inserted into slot B, I envisioned lines of sperm wriggling across the sheets to their intended destination.
I also remember, in about the 3rd grade, announcing to my sister that I was a homosexual after I read an extremely brief dictionary entry that read something along the lines of “one who interested in one’s own sex” and I assumed it meant someone who played with himself alot.
After my mom had the sex talk with me, I still thought that babies were delivered by the doctor sticking his hand in Mom’s belly button and pulling out the baby while turning it right side in (like taking off a latex glove). I knew it had something to do with the belly button. Not so sure the real explanation is any less scary…
In 3rd grade, it was popular to ask, “Are you a virgin?” I didn’t know what one was, so my answer always varied. I think very few kids who asked the question knew what it was either.
Wow, I’ve seen double posts happen in a row, like Post A, Post A, but I’ve never seen one Post A, Post B, Post A.
That’s a first for me.
And, for something that contributes to this post :), a more recent example of my naivete when it comes to drugs, until I read about it, I never realized that in the Gorillaz song Clint Eastwood that “Sunshine in a bag” referred to drugs. Although I still have no idea what drug that refers to.
You mean had in the freezer. Man, that was some good s**t. 
I remembered another one, and this is stupid…
When I was little, I remember asking Mam what my bellybutton was for, and she told me when I was a baby I used to get fed through it… I had visions of a spoon going up to my bellybutton much like it would go to your mouth if you were being spoon fed… LOL
Well, I’m so naive that even after 25 years of raucous sex life, an MD, and other innocence-reducing experiences, I’ve still been known to refer to “making Whoopie” as “sowing/throwing my oats”
[b[Joel**, you must own a transposer if you got to NC from OR that fast. Yes, it is good.
It wasn’t yours 
Oh, then who’s freezer did I raid? Hmmmm…
Oh hey, and to be serious for a moment, reading the OP made me remember something about music that I was naive about when I was younger. I use to think that the singles that artists released, and would perform live, on shows like SNL or David Letterman were some of their lesser quality songs, and that if you wanted to hear their better songs, you’d have to buy the album.
At a young age, I thought I knew all about sex, reproduction, etc. (my parents always answered any questions it occured to me to ask) – but I, too, did not realize that fun was involved. I thought sex was something people did solely in order to have children.
When I was a little kid one of my older neighbors told me he had died many times and everyone did…no he wasn’t referring to reincarnation or some religious concept he was just playing with my itty bitty mind
Fortunately I mentioned it to my Mom later that day and she set me straight…I might of tried some kind of fatal experiment on myself