Due to improper sexual education, I once thought that if you ever got a girl pregnant, you had to keep “doing it” or you wouldn’t get a complete baby. I guess that’s why I stayed a Wirgin until I was 18!
“Oh God, honey! Have we done the legs yet?”
Then when I was a real little boy in Germany, I used to think that every time I heard a song on the radio it was being performed live. Some of it was, but I didn’t understand the concept of records, because we didn’t own any.
And then, there was my dear Mom who would feed me Vicks Vaporub inbetween a biscuit for a chest cold. Yup, she didn’t have much education, but I sure did love her. (I used to think I could breathe into my mouth and out of my asshole!:D)
Somehow I got the idea that people had sex with their clothes on (just passionate hugging and kissing, I tell you!) and that all babies were born by c-section.
Also, I have no recollection of this, but according to my mom, I once asked what a sperm looked like and after she told me I said, “Oh. I thought it looked like a big red arrow.”
Not so much naive as misinformed. When my mom gave me “the talk” she pretty much focused on how to deal with periods. She also said something about babies being a gift from God to a married couple. I remember being very confused in my early teen years when I heard about unwed mothers. I couldn’t figure out how they tricked God into making them pregnant! :eek:
Naturally, any sexual information was lacking in my youth. When I joined the Navy, I did a lot of listening and learning - it’s amazing how much you can learn about sexuality from dirty jokes!
Oh, yeah, and I used to think politicians worked for the good of the country. Silly me.
I had a particularly fertile and promiscous aunt and I overheard my mom say “Doesn’t she know that all she has to do to get pregnant is spread her legs in front of a man?” :eek:
Yep, I kept my ankles crossed, at school - in church - everywhere, until I was 13 years old, terrified that I would be lax and end up pregnant.
When I was in 7th grade I was quite the little innocent.
However, I became friends with some, um, more mature girls (the kind who are a size D at age 12, and have had more experience with men by the 7th grade than I’ve had my entire life).
At a slumber party, one of them asked me if I had a pussy. Naturally, I assumed she was asking me if I had a cat. So I replied brightly, “Yes! I have three!” She started laughing at me hysterically, and said, “What are you, some kind of freak?!” Thinking quickly, I deduced that “pussy” in this context must mean something dirty. The only “dirty” think I could think of was a penis. I vaguely knew that there were “dirty slang” words for penis, so maybe “pussy” was one of them.
Aha! I had it! She was asking me if I had a penis! Which of course, I did not. I saw now how silly I must have sounded, saying I had three pussies. Of course, I didn’t want to look silly, so to correct my error, I said, “Ha! I was just joking! I don’t have any!” Once more, she started laughing at me hysterically and said, “What are you, some kind of freak?!”
I was in high school before I found out what I’d said wrong.
I once thought that all a woman had to do in order to conceive a child was to be in the presence of men. I had a female friend in my childhood who only lived with her mother and did not know who her father was. Confused, I couldn’t figure out how she could have been born without having a dad. When I asked her, she said that her mom “hung around with a lot of men.” At the time it didn’t click that “hanging around” these men went beyond merely being in their presence.
Once my understanding advanced to the penis/vagina thing I thought that the man urinated into the vagina and an erection was not necessary. I also thought the baby came out the mother’s butt and the doctor had to wipe poop off the baby’s body after it was born.
When I discovered ejaculation at the age of 12 I thought this was an indication that the penis had gone past its erectile capacity and the insides of it squirted out. I thought that I had caused permanent injury and was scared and afraid to even ask my father about it, until I soon learned on my own that all was well and I could do it again, and again… A book that I was given shortly thereafter on boys and sexuality helped confirm that this was all normal and natural.
I dimly understood that making a baby involved male and female nudity and a man’s penis. I translated this into the man and the woman going into the bathroom naked and the woman drinking the man’s urine. :eek:
Thank God I was wrong. (I like dwc’s version, though.)
I knew about what part went where in M/F sexual intercourse before I knew about erections. So given the organ’s usual orientation, the image I had of sexual intercourse was of the male on top of the female but with his head down around her ankles and his penis, pointed towards his own ankles of course, inserted into her. It just didn’t sound very appealing.
My bird and bees talk with my parents occured about 7’ish with those ‘kinda censored but not quite’ pictures, so no confusion there.
But there was that time my Mum had to careful explain that people don’t sound the same when they’re half asleep, and to please stop repeatedly ringing people at 7am.
Or when Daddy is on call with patients, don’t pick up the phone and have prolonged conversations with a patient who is probably sick and wanting to talk to a doctor.
Is it just me or does it seem like most parents don’t tell their kids anything about sex, as if it’s some big secret? I mean really now, it’s not like it’s difficult or evil to explain. Maybe this is just me being naive.
When I was about 11, I was already well developed physically (we’re early bloomers in my family!) and, being the youngest of three within three years of each other, I had been exposed to a little more than your average 11 year old through my close association with my brother and sister and their friends. i.e. I thought I was pretty cool and mature and knowledgable. We went on vacation to this “Dude Ranch” in upstate NY. Being the good sister that I was, I quickly left my uncool sister and brother in the dust of Trigger’s feet, and started hanging out with this 14 year old girl who was staying there with her uncool brother and the two of us somehow managed to make friends with some of the college kids who were working there for the summer. One night, we were all going out to one of the activities and I was all worried about what I was wearing and how I looked. I didn’t like the outfit I had on cause I thought it made me look stupid or something and I walked out of the room and whined (to the whole group, including my uncool brother and sister) “God, I look like a slut, don’t I?”
I had no idea what the word meant. They did. Yep, haven’t lived that one down in 35 years…
I was naive enough to think that when I came out to my middle school classmates, they’d say, “Wow! How interesting!” rather than “Look at the big dyke!”
I was in the seventh grade before I knew how a man got a woman pregnant. I had been informed about sperm and eggs, but not how the former was delivered to the latter. One week in Phys Ed the boys and girls were seperated for sex-ed. I was in the class with the rest of the girls and read a very technical, physiological decscription of intercourse, all “bllod vessels engorging” and so on. My first thought was “That means, Mom and Dad had to…ewwwwwww!” Then I had to raise my hand and ask about if this info was true. I can still remember the laughter, although some of those girls probably weren’t much more informed than I was. Suddenly, a lot of things I’d read in some adult books made a WHOLE lot more sense.
I knew about sex and all that, my best friend when I was about 11 told us all about it, but she neglected to tell us about multipple births, needless to say I assumed that if you wanted two babies at the same time… basically twins, like me, then you had to do it twice…
I don’t know about most parents, but my parents gave the sex talk the ol’ college try, and did their best to be open and forthcoming. For a kid, a lot of the information just didn’t make much sense, or I made assumptions that seemed likely (AT THE TIME) and it never occurred to me to ask about them. There is a whole bunch of stuff about sex that I didn’t really “get” until I was … ahem, getting it, literally. I had many “oh, DUH! Now that makes perfect sense!” moments.
Your turn!
