How did you find out about sex?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I can’t believe this hasn’t been done before. Well, possibly it has- it’s diffcult to do a search for “sex” - but I don’t recall a thread since I’ve been here.

I’m not asking so much about how you found out about the bare bones “facts of life”. I’m wondering about ,well…what were your earliest ideas about sex? Where did they come from? When did you realize it was supposed to be fun, and how did you feel about that at the time? Did you run in to porn as a child (dad’s playboys?), and what did you make of it?

And what ideas did you have about sex when you were a teenager, and could do it, but haden’t yet? What books, or whatever, gave you an idea about what it was like?

What was your idea about sex before you had sex, and why?

2

Three words. H. B. O.

Between that and having an older brother and access to an encyclopedia set, I was never in short supply of sexual information.

I also read Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex: But Were Afraid To Ask, which helped fill in a few holes (heh), like the clitoris, which I hadn’t heard much about until then.

I also had seen Playboy magazine (and less reputable ones) at a fairly early age, so I knew that “boys and girls were different”, although it was many years before I knew exactly what was going on anatomically with female genitalia. (They don’t tend to show spread legged crotch shots on cable.)

From the time I had gone through puberty until I had sex (which was actually quite a while), I felt like someone who had taken all the courses, but never done the labs, so to speak.

3

When i was 3, and my mom was VERY pregnant with my brother, i remember her sitting me down in the bathroom (i had been talking to her while she was putting on make-up or something).

She gave me a very detailed description of the process on the macro and microscopic levels, and i remember her fingernails being pained red, and that she used her hand as an EGG and her fingers of her other hands as Sperm, so for a long time i hand this wierd mental image of sperm as having fingernail-polish-red heads.

I later found and hid a couple of my dads Hustler’s ( guessing i was about 8). I found them tremendously provocative and looked at them a lot, but had absolutely NO IDEA what to do about the feeling, or even what i was feeling.

It wasn’ till junior High that i started making all the connections, and finally experiencing my first wet dream, and having it ALL COME TOGETHER (so to speak).

I remember snagging a few more hustlers at this point and finally realizing that i had to somehow “simulate” what i was seeing, and in so doing, gave Little Bad Hat a horrible friction burn the first time. ouch. 2nd time, i discovered Jergin’s, which still has a wierd involuntary effect on me :smiley:

From there I was obsessed, but it was all in vain for a long time. Had the normal adolescent fumblings and whatnot, i remember the first time i fingered a girl being the most frightening, living on the edge, intense feeling in the WORLD (i’m guessing i was 13-14?)

I remember a lot of porno magazines, and once i got a drivers license, going to the adult bookstore and picking up a tape that i must have watched a thousand times over the next couple of years.

I had no idea what to expect, really. And i was constantly unsure if i was well endowed, or poorly endowed, but High School, and my peers (full of shit though they may havebeen), and pop culture in general contributed to a huge sense of anxiety over sex, and how to get it, and how it was a rite of passage and the stuff of high school ledgends… etc…

So i thought about it a lot.

I also remember having a stolen copy of “the Joy of Sex” for a long time, and both reading the info and looking at the drawings, and realy longing for it.

Between my folks and having fairly bright friends and access to the “Joy of Sex” book, i don’t think i had a lot of misconceptions about sex. I knew what the terminology meant, knew the risks,
the positions, and was basically just really eager to get me some.

High School sexual experiences beyond that were awkward and forgettable (ad nauseum hand jobs and fingering… man, the innocence), save my first BJ (in my truck, no less). It wasn’t until college that the act became enough of a “non-novelty” in and of itself that i started concentrating on technique, and became comfortable enough to enjoy the act.

My first regular partner was kind of a crazy Bi-sexual S&M chick (ahh liberal arts college), and thru her i discovered the joys of dorm sex, good BJs, and the exact location and significance of the Clitoris.

Chris (misty water colored memories…)

4

I’ve always seemed to know the particulars. In fact I remember a diagram in a book I must have have when I was … a few years old. Nothing graphic mind you. Just an outline of a naked man and woman with an arrow.

My sister is 25 months younger then me and my mother had another pregnancy a few years afterwards. I guess it was all explained to me then. I’ve always been very scientifically minded about things and I suppose I just accepted it as standard adult behavior and moved on to things that interested me more, like climbing trees and finding blackberries.

5

Medical Encyclopedias. I learned that I was circumcized only after I came across a detailed description of the procedure in a medical encyclopedia. Probablt because I found out about sex in a medical encuclopedia, for years I thought sex was something you had to do in a doctor’s office.

I was also convinced that I had every obscure disease in the world. Read a medical encyclopedia, and you’ll know why.

6

I thought sex was so disgusting when I first found out about it. I honestly don’t remember how I found out about the penis/vagina thing. A friend’s elder brother told her about “gay sex” and in very hushed tones well out of earshot of parents she later told me - how “then willy goes into the bottom” - we were about 11? 12? and we were HORRIFIED. We just couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to do that.

I do remember that a school textbook enlightened me about how “the penis moves rhythmically in and out of the vagina” (verbatim quote) Up till then I thought it just stuck in, waited a few seconds, shot, and got out.

7

From as far back as I can remember, there were back-issues of “Playboy” in the bathroom at my granparent’s house, where I spent every summer and winter holiday.

When I lived with my mom, the bathroom reading material was “Everything you always wanted to know about sex…*” and back issues of National Lampoon. You know, when there were still naked chicks in it.

My mom told me if I ever had any questions, to ask her…which led to me, at the tender age of 9, piping up on a Sunday morning at Denny’s with “Mommy…what’s a menage a trois?” >>pause<< “Well honey, when three people love and trust and care about each other, sometimes they…” That’s the only part I remember, but as I recall when she was done with her explanation I said “Oh. Ok.” And went back to eating my pancakes.

I don’t remember not knowing. In high school I was the one my friends (and some acquaintances) came to when they wanted to know “What’s fellatio?” (When I said “A blowjob” they went, “OH! Okay!” I’m not talking about idiots here) or “What’s voyeurism?”

However, I love Genseric’s description…“taken all the courses but done none of the labs.” I was the second-to-last-person I knew to lose my virginity. Then again, I had an orgasm the first time, so I’m not bitching. :smiley:

8

When I was in junior high school - late 1960s - sex education was the scandalous new thing in the school system. In my school, it consisted of separating the boys from the girls - we were told about periods, and I have no idea what the boys were told.

My mother went with the “children are a gift from God” sex talk, so I didn’t have a clue as I went into high school. I pretty much figured it out on my own by extrapolating dirty jokes, listening to other people talking, and from reading bodice-rippers - all that thrusting of throbbing manhood into love tunnels. I was in my 20s before I got it the theory figured out. I was into my 30s before I developed a profiency in practice.

My own kid has gotten straightforward explanations from the first. Whatever she asked, I answered, tailored to her age. At this point, I’ll tell her anything she wants to know - she won’t go into the world as naive as I was.

9

Well, I grew up Catholic–that, in and of itself, should speak volumes! My mom was a very repressed Catholic (is that an oxymoron?) I vaguely remember her giving me “the talk” when I was five and she was pregnant with my sister. I don’t remember much of “the talk” except that any time afterwards that I would ask her about sex she’d say, very abruptly, “We’ve already had that conversation, I see no need to talk about it again.” This is the same woman who, when I started my period, informed me that if I had any questions the school nurse would be able to answer them for me. Well, from a very early age I had discovered that everything I needed to know I could find out about at the library.

The library was a magical place that I spent countless hours in. I logged a fair amount of time in the 600s section, reading everything I could manage to sneak back to the children’s room and hide inside of Nancy Drew books. The whole subject of sex fascinated and intrigued me. Of course, I was also lucky enough to have parents who (although repressed Catholics) owned a convenience store that had a substantial number of magazines. I got the technical jargon at the library, and the practical application with visual aids at my parent’s store.

By 13 I’d read the Hite reports, all the Masters and Johnson I could find, Kinsey, Comfort, and a large selection of Penthouse forums. I knew far more than my friends and became the soure of information on the playground when I refuted another girl’s claim that you had to make sure the guy peed before having sex or he’d pee in you! Eeew! I explained the vas deferens to them and how it was not possible for him to pee in you. The girls all turned and looked at me with a kind of awe that I’d never esperienced before–well, actually, my five year old looked at me that way when I taught him how to burp on command.

Also by 13, I’d successfully learned how to “double click my mouse” and it became a favorite evening passtime. Isn’t it interesting that there aren’t as many colloquialisms for female masterbation as their are for male? Well, something for another thread. Anyway, the funny thing is, in high school I was considered the shy, geeky one that no guy gave a second glance to–if those boys had any idea what I was eager to put into practice I bet I would have been much more popular! :slight_smile:

10

When I was six, I went to a friend house to play and she asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said a teacher. She said she wants to be a model like her mom. I asked if I ever saw her mom in anything so she went to take out some of the pictures her mom posed for. They were all porn and my friend knew all abotu sex and clued me in on it.

I was horrified. It looked like the scariest and grossest thing in the world to me. Why would anyone want to do that ? And what’s all that white creamy stuff the girl is licking up ? EEEWW !

When I got a little older I was not so upset and decided to be a prostitute when I grew up, it seemed like a glamourous job to me(I was a weird kid).

I never did become a prostitute.

11

Another child of Catholics chiming in. My birds and bees talk came from my dad. And I quote:

“You know, all that time you spend in the bathroom isn’t a mystery to anyone.”

I had already fairly well figured it out by then. It’s one of two oblique sexual references ever uttered by my father in my presence. The other being:

“Your mother was the only woman I ever loved.”

Translation? Keep it in your pants till you’re married.

In retrospect, if my parents had been more open about sexuality, I’d have been horrified at the time, but probably much better prepared for the eventual loss of my virginity.

12

I learned about sex when I was about seven years old. One of my friends showed me how it worked, using Barbie and Ken as visual aids. I didn’t think too much about it, being more interested in the Dream House and Barbie’s clothes. One odd thing - she told me she knew because she liked “doing it” with her 12-year-old brother whenever they got the chance. :eek:

I really didn’t understand the significance of her comment, and forgot about it. She moved away shortly thereafter; years later someone mentioned her, and I remembered what she’d said. I have no idea where she is, but I can’t help wondering how the family turned out. Yikes.

13

Learning about it was dull. I read about it when I was four, complete with anatomical descriptions and cartoon-pictures. I started wanting it at thirteen, about the time sex-ed came in, but whatever… I knew all I needed to know about slot A, tab B, and what HAS to go in between. All good.
Beginning to experience it was odd. First person I was with was a lesbian, and I consider her to have taught me how to kiss. Lesbians don’t generally have much to teach about slot A and tab B, although I’m sure if she had been more talkative about what she wanted I might have learned something. And before anyone snorts, YES she was a confirmed lesbian both before and after me. I just got her to switch teams temporarily.
I only really LEARNED about sex recently. I was in a very loving relationship with someone who was totally open with me, and she taught me everything I know. Anatomy classes are all very well, and yes, being a massotherapist does lend itself advantages, but sitting and talking openly about sex with your partner lends an otherwise inaccessible perspective to everything. I’m eternally grateful to her, although we’re not together anymore, and one of my regrets (among many) about it ending is that I doubt most women would be so open… sigh I miss her…

14

i found a stack of old playboys in an abandoned school when i was 5 and took them home. my mother than had a very frank talk to me about what sex was, what happens and that yes it can be nice.

those kind of frank honest talks never stopped, so by the time i hit ‘that age’ where sexuality started looking attractive, i was extremely clued up. . nothing came as a surprise.

15

My mother never told me a thing. When I was 10 or 11, I came across a textbook of some kind which described the mechanics of sex in a dry, detached manner. It might have been in the school library, but I can no longer remember. I thought it sounded pretty repulsive and wondered why grownups seemed to go to so much trouble. :smiley:

Around the same time, in what seemed like an innocuous compendium on the Beatles, I saw my first naked adults – on the cover of Lennon and Ono’s album Two Virgins. The pubic hair really grossed me out; gave me a sick feeling like I was seeing something I wasn’t meant to see.

I didn’t have anyone to whom I was close enough to talk about sex, and I was too shy to seek out more info until many years later. I was a very late bloomer; didn’t start masturbating until I was 23!

16

I’ve led a rather sheltered life.

I can remember learning the actual mechanics from my mother when I was about 9 years old. About two weeks later, my cousin and I had an arguement about the substance actually released. My cousin was determined it was urine, and I was unable to convince him otherwise, only because I really didn’t know what else it was, only that it couldn’t possibly be urine.

I didn’t know it was supposed to be fun until I was, I think, 16. My parents were very careful with what I saw on TV, and what movies I saw and my friends and I were more interested in sports than sex. I was also a very shy child and never asked out woman, so me actually having this discussion with girlfriends wasn’t an issue for me as I didn’t have any. I remember my a friend informing me that he got a blowjob and I then asked him what “a blowjob” was…

You can all probably imagine that my friend got a real charge out of this and made fun of me pretty mercilously. From this point on, I went from knowing absolutely nothing, to knowing absolutely everything. You see, my father is a doctor and has numberous books about how to improve your sex life. I read them all cover to cover, so was an expert on all things sex.

17

I got the official talk and a book from mom, but the unofficial source was my brother’s stash of Playboy and Penthouse, and a copy of The Joy of Sex. I really thought it was kind of ooky until I tried it, though, which wasn’t until college. Another late bloomer here.

18

Jackie Collins - lunch time, 9th grade, 1986

19

I never needed anyone to explain to me how it works. I didn’t need to read it in a book, either. Although I was just a young child, it was kind of obvious. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that Tab A fits into Slot B. I figured it out all on my own, and was eventually pleased to find my theory verified objectively.

20

This is almost exactly what I was going to post when I saw the thread title. For some reason, one of my relatives left a set of Medical Encyclopedias at our home when I was just a young’n (sometime around the 5th or 6th grade–maybe a bit earlier or later), and I poured through them, receiving my formal sex ed in the process–I remember explaining the function of the prostate to my wee chums; they were not impressed.

I took one to school and found out too late that there were how-to pictures of an at-home breast exam in the volume I was carrying. I hid it in my locker (6th grade), afraid that I’d get busted for bringing “porn” to school.

Cal’s last comment made me laugh–I was also convinced that I had Ulcerative Colitis and should be excused from P.E.

Nerd? Moi?