Sorry if this is a repeated thread [I looked briefly and didn’t find one in the archives].
How did you first learn about sex? Did you first hear about it on the school playground? Was it a good, positive experience?
I was in the fifth grade when someone told a joke with the word fuck in it. I asked what it meant and half the world stopped, swiveled their heads in unison to give me “that look” … I asked my Mom when I got home… she stopped dead ironing and gave me one of those “let’s get the facts straight” looks. Sex education in SoCal was a complete farce - classes separated by gender watching incomprehensible cartoons about Xs and Ys. Ignorant peer information [pull it out before you come and you can’t get pregnant or douche with coke if he didn’t pull out fast enough]. I have to thank my Mom for giving me the best information without a lot of garbage. I’ve tried to do the same with my kids [who would secretly snicker and giggle thru my ob-gyn books or my husband’s books on sexually transmitted diseases].
One day I asked my Mom. She asked if I really wanted to know. When I said yes, she sat me down and explained everything to me. I can still remember. I was about 5 and we were sitting at the top of our stairs in our house. It was a very positive experience. I have always been comfortable talking about sex with my mom. She took me to get the pill when I was 17 and has always helped me whenever I had questions. She was happy for me when I first had sex and it has always been healthy with us. I think that this is because it started so well. I think it is important for parents to talk to their kids about it.
I was reading Ann Landers when I was about 7 years old and the word masturbation was in the article. I didn’t know what it meant so I asked my mom. She asked me where I heard that word and I told her. She took the paper away from me and said, “You don’t need to know about that, it’s dirty.” So I basically learned everything from friends, school, and my own personal experiences and never asked my mom anything about sex ever again.
My mom’s version of “the talk” was her telling me not to do it until I was married. That was all she said to me. There was no talk of condoms, birth control pills, pregnancy, nothing. I think my mom thinks sex is dirty unless you’re married to the person your having sex with. And I know she thinks oral sex is dirty too. When the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandel came out, I remember my mom saying, (in a very disgusted voice) “I can’t believe she was sucking on his penis. That’s so disgusting!” I think I can be pretty sure that my parents don’t engage in oral sex! That’s too bad. They don’t know what they’re missing.
I’m not gonna be that way with my kids. I want my kids to be well-informed about sex so they are safe and protected when they finally do have sex. I plan to be very open and honest about it and I don’t want to make them feel ashamed for talking about it or asking questions about it. I want my kids to be comfortable coming to me and talking about anything. That’s the way it should be.
We were 9 years old. She and her brother who was 11 explained it to me. I didn’t even know I had a vagina before that. I was SHOCKED! Intercourse was the grossest thing I’d ever heard of. I got over that though. But surprisingly, my friends explained it accurately and pretty thoroughly. I guess their parents actually talked to them about sex or something.
I ran across Dr. Benjamin Spock’s book “Where Did I Come From?” when I was about 7 or 8. Led to playing doctor on occasion. Didn’t really talk much with Mamma O about it so I learned what I could on the fly. My first actual experience was very clumsy (whose isn’t?) but it’s gotten better since then.
my babysitter asked me to touch her breasts, then told me what sex was and how it was done, i didn’t believe her of course, i thought that was gross, boy what a stupid kid i was, i could of had me an older babe and lost it at 8. pretty sick huh?
but just think of what all that extra practice could have gotten me… oh yeah, AIDS.
Ahhh, I still remember my sex education.But I don’t remember how old I was, I think I was 5 or 6
Mom:You know what making love is right?
Me: Yes.(I’m not sure how I knew, I just did)
Mom: You know making love makes baby right?
Me:Yes
Mom: So don’t do it until you want babies.
Me: Ok
A few years later
Mom: You know about birth control?
Me: Yes
Mom: It doesn’t always work. You were a condom baby. Don’t have sex unless you want kids.
Me: Ok
I should add that I started reading romance novels in 3rd grade, so I wasn’t completely oblivous to how the world works. Though it was an awful shock when I realized that real life isn’t anything like romance novels. Sigh
I used to read those nasty late '70s / early '80s pulp horror novels by James Herbert and Shaun Hutson when I was at school, so I was widely known as the guy to ask at school for details. Unfortunately, this didn’t always work out; trying to explain to some aghast-looking girls that the “maggot ejaculation” scene they’d just read wasn’t actually how it happened gave me the added impetus to up my reading habits to something a bit more highbrow.
Medical Encyclopedias. I read them as a kid (I read everything)>
I don’t recommend this method. Medical encyclopedias dwell upon everything can go wrong, and this can turn you into a hypochondriac.
On the other hand, the detailed illustrations of circumcision made it worthwhile. Before I saw that I didn’t realize that I (and everyone I knew) had been circumcised. And it was driving me nuts when I read the dictionary definition of “circumcision”, because I couldn’t figure out what this “foreskin” was that was getting cut off. All the parts I could see looked like the were vital.
I was five. My mother decided not to wait until I asked and bought a book for me. It might have been “Where Did I Come From?”
I remember cartoon nekkid peeples.
Mom and Dad were always very open about it with me and my brother. They told me it was a special thing that happens between two people who love each other and told me that I should wait until I fell in love.
I believe that my parents did it the right way. It held no mystique for me so I never wanted to do it “just to see what it’s like.”
I didn’t wait 'til marriage but I did wait 'til I fell in love. With my husband. I was 20.
I’d have to say Mom did pretty well. She told me the facts without judgement (no “it’s dirty,” no “it’s a sin”). I am very grateful to her for that.
In hindsight, it was also rather sweet although it was very embarassing in the beginning. English is not Mom’s first language, and it was a little like taking a fill-in-the-answer test.
*“That ting betveen a poi’s legs - vat do you call it?”
“Uhmm, his hoo-ha?”
“No, ta other vord.”
“Uhhhhhh…ummmm…his weiner?”
“No, no…vell, maybe. You know, his kikkeli.” *
Eventually we got through all the slang and onto the medically correct words and she told it like it is. I’m sure it was not easy for her.
My parents never had a discussion on this topic with me, but I do recall being in highschool and letting them know not to worry, I wasn’t going to become pregnant. (being their son, I don’t think that was as reassuring as that could be)
They taght us where everything went in 5th grade, however, there were certain things that were not discussed that I found out from reading National LAmpoon magazine.
But surprisingly, my friends explained it accurately and pretty thoroughly. I guess their parents actually talked to them about sex or something.