I was just talking with my sister earlier about how I rarely ever call my husband by his given name, and she said that it’s the same for her. I have a couple of pet names that I’ll use sometimes, and she just calls her husband by his initial. If I use my husband’s given name, it pretty much means I’m 1) calling to him from a distance away to get his attention, or 2) pissed off at him.
I’d say I call my wife by her real name about half the time, using one or another term of endearment the other half. OTOH she’s more likely to follow MsWhatsit’s form.
That’s pretty much the way it is with my wife and me. Using the given name is a way of cutting through the mental clutter to get the spouse’s attention, and it works. I’d say one or the other of us calls the other by his/her given name once every couple of weeks, for exactly this purpose. The rest of the time, it’s “babe” and "sweetie’ and so forth.
We don’t often use each other’s names, and it sounds somehow wrongly formal when we do. Mostly it’s some random pet name like Babe or Hon, though since becoming parents it has gone disturbingly towards calling each other Mommy and Daddy, even when the kids aren’t there.
Haha, my parents still do this on occasion, even though my brother and I are 21 and 23, respectively, and they haven’t had kids living at home full time since 2007. It apparently takes YEARS to cure yourself.
I actually use my SO’s name pretty frequently. I’m a name-user in conversation with most people, though. He uses my name less frequently, but I like it when he does, so he makes a conscious effort to do it more than he would typically, I think.
Almost always we both use names with the I-love-you type of talk.
Heh, timely thread. Boyfriend and I were just discussing this the other day.
Mine uses my given name all the time, but intersperses it with pet names as well.
I call him “honey,” pretty much exclusively. I use his given name when I’m mad at him, or when I need to get his attention in a public place. I guess I’m just a creature of habit.
I call my SO by the same nickname form of his given name a lot. Of course, we have kids (mine biologically, not his biologically) who address him by that same name, so I use his name with them like some families would use “Dad”.
I use a lot of “Hon” and “Babe”, too, though. Of course, I tend to use “Hon” reflexively with a lot of people (which caused some hurt feelings when I called my ex “Hon,” in front of the SO, until SO realized it really was without thought on my part, not a sign of some residual feelings.)
I hardly ever call him by his whole given name, though. Only when I’m mock disapproving. His ex-wife insisted on calling him his full first name instead of his preferred nickname, because she doesn’t like nicknames. I sort of share her opinion (that is, I’m not a fan of shortened-first-name nicknames, either) but I think it’s appallingly rude and insensitive to call someone a name they don’t like.
I don’t have a significant other at the moment, but when I do, I almost always call her by her first name and pretty much nothing else. When I get angry or am feeling a need to create some distance, I will call her by her last name. (I guess that’s strange.) Every once in a while, though, I will develop a nickname for someone I’m with usually arising from some shared experience. These names are usually unique in that no one else would ever call her by that name and that the name isn’t one of the common pet names. For example, I called one ex-girlfriend Tulip because she was Dutch.
I often address the wife by her given name in addition to the usual endearments. Funny thing is all Thais have a personal nickname that they commonly go by, but I never, ever use my wife’s, because it is one that sounds horrific to an English speaker’s ear. Pronouncing it makes me sound like I’m badly constipated and trying to push a big one out.
My husband has the same full-length first name as his dad, and he’s not fond of the full-length version either, so I never address him as it.
I almost always use a pet name when it’s just us. When we’re with friends, I’ll usually use his shortened first name. With his family, I often use “Hon” due to the chance of name confusion with his dad, or just tap him.