How often do you drop a plop at work?

I work 12hr shifts. So it’s kind of unavoidable with me. Plus, I’ve learned the hard way, not to try to hold it anymore. Because sometimes what you think is only going to be a 20 minute ride home, turns into an hour.

I once worked in a lab with a neurophysiologist who was a genius, but weird af. Every day he did the same routine. He’d stop at the cafeteria and have a seat. He’d open his briefcase and take out a to-go coffee cup. After removing the cup, he’d surreptitiously place a newspaper into his briefcase (the newspapers were free to read in the cafeteria, but we’re not to be taken).

He’d then “refill” the coffee cup (refills were free) and head for his floor, where he’d enter the men’s room and stay for 30 - 45 minutes. He left the newspaper in the stall, rinsed out his cardboard coffee cup, maybe wash his hands, then he’d come to the lab.

He was a legend. Everyone knew his routine and laughed about it behind his back.

Like wiping peanut butter off a shag carpet, eh?

Rarely. I am a morning dumper and I work second shift for the most part.

I’m getting to that age where I need coffee to get things going. Although I do what I can in the morning before work, I make my first cup at work, and sometimes I’m not comfortable holding it. I’d prefer to hold it, but not always possible. Jesus Christ, TMI…

As rarely as possible. It always amuses me when going into a stall and the previous occupant has left behind a great nest of toilet paper.

There was a time when it was part of my routine. Now, it’s just this side of never, maybe twice a year. I don’t generally have to while I’m at work, I am usually fine to go before or after, and prefer the supplies at home to the supplies in the office.

Always seemed a better idea to let one’s job site plumbing take the strain.

Now looking forward to the companion threads on where Dopers clip their toenails and trim their nose hair.

I get up at 3:30 am and get to work about 4:30. Sometime between 6 and 7 nature calls and I go. I’m retiring on the first of July and plan to never poop at work again.

Assuming you work five eight-hour days per week, 50 weeks per year, and take one 10-minute bathroom break each day while you are on the clock, you will have earned over one week’s salary by the end of the year just for shitting at work. So if such things can be “scheduled,” I try to at least get paid for them. :smiley:

New — and strangely relevant — Saturday Night Live sketch (YouTube link):

Undercover Office Potty

Daily, at 13:15 (except on weekends).

I have tiny bottles of lotion stashed in all the defunct paper towel dispensers in this building. Makes a good cleansing agent.

Luckily since I work in maintenance we have a secret bathroom only we know about which is always more private and cleaner than the rest of the buildings restrooms.

Every day. Sometimes twice!

Good news: it’s a college with many buildings so there are restrooms everywhere.

Bad news: it’s a college with thousands of people everywhere all the time so there’s always someone else in there.

However I’ve found a single-stall restroom on a little-used floor that’s the closest thing to a private bathroom on the entire base. I call it “my other office.”

When I was in college, I used to walk across the street to the nursing building (I am a guy). There men’s bathroom were always sparkling clean and vacant.

Close to daily.

I actually use the “less” nice bathroom here. The fancy ones with tiles and a credenza with flowers are near the front door and admin area. The concrete floored crew bathroom (which is really just used by a couple people) is off down a hall near the back door. Not only is the crew one more isolated but it also has a urinal. Definitely my place of choice.

I suppose there are a lot of other people who’s philosophy I could quote; but I just wanted to frame my personal credo: “Always try to shit on company time.”

Truth is wherever, whenever, when the need strikes; I go. With today’s cellphones it’s even easier to just relax and let things happen.

I go at work at least once or twice per day, every work day. I’d prefer to just go at home where I have my Squatty Potty, but my digestive system doesn’t accommodate that schedule.

Heh, a cow-orker once expressed disgust that I took my cell phone into the bathroom. When I asked “Why?”, she replied “You put that thing on your face afterward!”. I looked her in the eye and said “Um, I take my face into the bathroom as well”.

As to the OP, coffee gets me going and the first cup is at work during the week, so almost daily.