Depends on the stranger. (Old people are great for this)
Myself, I’ll do it sometimes, but usually something unusual has to be going on, like maybe the cashier is being exceedingly slow, or some little kid is throwing a tantrum in isle 5. Otherwise I keep quiet.
I agree that planes, and similar circumstances where people are locked in together for a long time, require extra sensitivity. While I still think it’s weird and rude to not speak at all, or to not acknowledge someone speaking to you, all parties must take care not to force it when someone is tired or otherwise uninterested.
I do not like making chit chat with strangers, just because we happen to be in proximity. Especially when I can’t escape, like on a plane. I have been known to feign total deafness on a plane. I also don’t like it when a supermarket cashier comments on the items I’m buying.
I do it quite a lot, it’s actually pretty common around here. Generally just a quick random comment, but I’ve had some of the most awesome conversations with total strangers on buses or trains.
Some memorable stranger conversations were one fascinating two hour chat with a lovely Polish woman, who gave me a full review of life under communism (in immaculate English), and an elderly lady told me most of her life story, including how she’d gone on holiday to Canada as a teenager, and married a guy in the first week, as well as just 5 minutes giggling with a woman in a burka about the ridiculous outfit (leopard print furry legwarmers!) someone walking past was wearing.
Life’s more fun if we communicate with each other!
Always remember. . .there’s often a reason they are strangers.
I don’t mind speaking with strangers, but rarely will I initiate a conversation. I am more likely to if we are in a situation where the time we are spending together is short and has a definite end, like a grocery store line or an elevator ride. This will usually be something observing the environment we both share, including the weather. These short interactions make me feel like the world is a friendlier place.
I am bad at long conversations in general. I dread the inevitable awkward pause where nobody has anything to say. This is why I would rather avoid a conversation with my plane or train seatmate, though I usually try to at least make eye contact and smile at the beginning of the journey. If somebody really seems to desire a conversation I’m game.
I have had none of the “best conversations of my life” with strangers.
I don’t initiate it very often, but I’m happy to respond. If they are religious or political nuts (especially the kind who ring my doorbell to tell me how Jesus loves me), I will cut it short.
On the other hand, one of my best friends will stop almost anyone he meets on the street and start talking to them. He is so proud of his prowess in speaking French that he always speaks French to strangers, even on the McGill campus (an English university). It annoys me, but it drives his wife nuts.
I guess if someone were on fire I would point it out to them.
And yet…your username!!!
I take a commuter train to and from work every day. There’s frequently a reason to talk to my fellow commuters—train delay, noisy passenger, any part of our shared experience that warrants commiseration. I also tend to compliment people on dresses or shoes or babies that I admire. This doesn’t usually result in a lengthy conversation but a short and pleasant exchange. Sometimes, too, the people I see frequently move from stranger to familiar stranger, so exchanging pleasantries with them becomes easier.
There’s a homeless guy I see a lot on my way to work and I always talk to him. I brought my kids to work with me one day and introduced them to him. But again, he’s not a stranger anymore. When I don’t see him for a while, I get concerned.
Good God, it drives me insane! I am a paraplegic and as such, I am constantly approached (sometimes much too closely) by strangers who feel that I must be having a hard time doing whatever it is that I am doing-simply because I am disabled-and asked if I need some help. Many times, it is quite difficult to successfully decline this help without resorting to somewhat rude and/or aggressive behavior because the “Good Samaritan” offering the help mistakenly believes that I am only declining the “help” either out of a misplaced sense of pride or because I was trying to be nice, so they hand-wave away my refusals.
This, and many times I will be approached by strangers who feel it necessary to share their personal experiences with injury and/or tragedy, whether it be with themselves personally or (as is much more common) with the person that they know who has experienced it directly; like their great-uncle’s second cousin, who broke his hip back in '78 and used a wheelchair for three months. :rolleyes: People just stop me to tell me about these things, to show me that they “feel my pain” (actual words used by a guy who stopped me in Meijer to tell me about how he broke a few ribs and both knees back in the '80s).
So, while I don’t talk to strangers for shit, they sure fucking like talking to me!! :mad: And I attract some goddamn weirdos I tell ya.
Just remembered, an old man stopped me dead in my tracks at the grocery the other day:
Old man: Sir, can I tell you something?
Me: Sure, what’s up?
Old man: God made two kinds of people in this world. Those with perfect heads, and the rest, he put hair on them.
Me: Ha ha! good one! (I’m bald)
See, only old people could get away with saying crazy shit like that.
I’m a New Englander. We don’t do that.
I am from Ca. It seems every vacation I end up befriending someone from a New England state. I always feel like I am misplaced here.
Not at all likely.
Slightly awkward and uncomfortable.
A mix of slightly apprehensive and peculiarly obligated. Being introverted and consequently naturally asocial, a lot depends on how much I’ve interacted with others at the time. If I’ve been particularly busy at work, for example, it’s possible I will feel completely tapped out and will actively try to avoid others, but if I haven’t been busy, it’s entirely within my capabilities to appear social enough to supply the standard non-committal conversational replies if someone approaches me (I will definitely not be the one approaching).
I won’t start up a conversation, but if someone talks to me it is only the polite thing to do to reply. (Unless they are clearly unhinged in some way, as happens now and again when riding the subway. In that case I’ll either smile and nod, or get up and move away.) I don’t mind it when it’s only for short times, like in an elevator or riding the subway a few stops. I would hate for it to occur on an airplane, as then you’re stuck next to the person for hours! If it’s a good conversation, that’s one thing, but if not you are stuck with no exit!
Rarely.
i work in a remote area, in a building with dwindling staff, at a desk in an old file room,or in the storage vault.
I live alone.
As a cigar smoker I will spend at least an hour relaxing with a cigar on a park bench, by the hotel pool or at a coffee shop with outdoor seating. Cigar smokers will often will strike up a conversation with other cigar guys.
I also made a living speaking to strangers, so it is no big deal for me to speak with someone I don’t know.
As a city dweller, generally no. I won’t strike up a conversation unless the other person is clearly a lost tourist or something of that nature for which I can offer assistance. People who approach me are either asking for directions or crazy. Since I can’t always be sure until I’m engaged with them, I try to avoid looking approachable.
On an airplane or train trip, I’m often asleep before leaving the ground/station, so leave me alone.
All the time. In the supermarket queue I will often talk to the people in front of or behind me. Say the woman in front has a whole lot of kids party provisions, I’ll ask about whose party it is. Sometimes I’ll have a guess at what people are intending to cook with what they bought. I usually chat with whoever is on the checkout.
On 2 of my most recent train trips I have struck up conversations with the stranger I sat next to about the book they were reading. Pretty much anywhere I am I will strike up a conversation about anything that seems interesting, much like I would with family, friends or workmates. It is very, very rarely that I don’t get a positive response. Most people are happy to engage in a convivial conversation, so much so that sometimes I end up wishing I hadn’t started one.
Smoking is good for talking to strangers. And by that I mean that I can put my cigarette out in their eye if they try to approach me.